What is your biggest fear? Besides phobias, death is the common response obviously, then interestingly followed by rejection or failure. There is no doubt that everyone wants to be successful…get that money, make a difference, live the good life. But another type of failure was brought to my attention recently…failing as a friend.

Of course you would do absolutely anything for a friend, you want to be there for them regardless of the consequences…even though that principle is not always reciprocated. When your friend needs something, you want to provide it. Even if your friend doesn’t care for it, you want to still give it. Or maybe your friend insists that they don’t want what you are offering, but you give it anyway. There’s this internal longing to succumb to their every need and a persistent avoidance to disappoint them. Sometimes other priorities overpower obligations to friends, perhaps leaving your friend neglected. In another way, sometimes you might consistently offer what you feel they need, which just aggravates the situation. If you’re like me, you often claim that you’re fine and reject any kind of help through personal situations. Like I have in the past, I don’t want to feel dependent on a person to save me from my own issues.

I think my intention of this post is to reassure those people who do feel like they need to be the “damage control” friend that it’s okay if you can’t necessarily solve all of your friend’s problems. And while I am aware that their intentions are good and appreciate their unceasing willingness to offer help, sometimes all you need during tough times is for a friend to say, “hey, I’m here for you if/when you need me”. I think just knowing that you have access to that support and comfort =when you want/need it= is an essential to any friendship.

I love you friendsies. Thank you.