out of control.

a last-minute trip to the hair academy of the oh-so-talented reinna brought about a new hair color and some wonderful chit chat about an array of topics... family, church, work, school, best/boy-friends, our futures, etc. i really am grateful for this particular conversation of how God is working in these areas of our lives, how to balance everything, how to avoid distractions from our spiritual growth and how we need to put Him first always. that means before any obligation and before any relationship. it was refreshing to be so open about everything. it was really nice to get to know this little lady a little more by sharing our rather similar testimonies and current challenges. lately, i've been struggling with some personal things... trying to minimize my selfish wants and trying to dictate how the next several years will go. but talking to this future hair stylist extraodinaire was a good reminder that God is in control always and that we need to be content with however He changes our lives and our hearts.

==============

Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment,

for we brought nothing into the world,
and we cannot take anything out of the world.
But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.
[1 Timothy 6:6-8]

==============

bloom where you are planted kids.

FORT TMS

"you don't stop playing because you get older,
you get older because you stop playing"

85 and going strong

my family celebrated this little lady's birthday this weekend.no no, this is not my older sister.
in fact, this is my beautiful gramma who turned the young age of 85!

she's a super cute woman with a love for getting her nails and hair done, mocha fraps, shopping at Ross, playing the lotto...and, of course, watching TFC.... oh yeah, and she absolutely loves julian's special chinese egg drop soup. but more importantly, she's played an essential part in raising us, supporting us in our education and careers, advising us through our love lives, reminding us of the importance of family,
displaying faith in Christ and teaching us to depend on God.
she's pretty amazing.

i know she'll never read this,
but hopefully she knows how much i love her.

love what you do.

graffiti artist, festival della creativita
florence, italy

mask maker genius
venice, italy

chocolate sculptor, eurochocolate festival
perugia, italy
aids marathon participants
florence, italy
puppet maker
florence, italy
cute kid/musical prodigy
bologna, italy

italy picture of the day

Couples placed locks with their initials on them
on this railing along the Arno River as a symbol of their love.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
[Galatians 5:22-23]

big nutshell version of one eventful day

the day started with a playground rendezvous with the barretts

the parentals needed to give a little motivation
before the little lady was off to explore the new territory.

we thought maybe she'd like the slide...

...then this face happened...
the swing seemed to be a winner for awhile.
then more exploration.then after some adjustment to the funny sand feeling,

little sabrina had conquered the playground!

just in time for a snack
while waiting for her ninong ian for lunch.

Praise God for the Barretts as they have become an example of a Christ-centered familia with their wisdom and honest advice about everything. i hope i can apply what i see through them to my future family.
===================

after julian joined us for lunch and the usual trip to yogurtland,
i reunited with MMMK for a palsies datesies.
cutest palsies linesies ever!
===================
then for the most randomly spontaneous part of the day...
with none other than isaac "im so popular" cheung.

ME: what should we do? should we just like look at each other for 2 hours?
ISAAC: yeah do you want to? im down since there's like nothing to do in irvine.
ME: OH! We should fly a kite! It's such a nice day!
ISAAC: OH YEAH!! Wait, alberstons wouldn't sell kites.
ME: OH! Then we should buy bubbles instead! They have bubbles.
ISAAC: Yeah, we should buy bubbles and go to campus and spread happiness to the people who are sad because they're still studying for finals...

SO WE DID!

we made some surprise attacks......and awkward visits
(it's okay, he doesn't have finals to study for)
surprising friendsies and marking them with cool stickers
and a creative cheer,
"HAVE NO FEAR, SPRING BREAK'S ALMOST HERE!"
we even had a bubble party ring road-style.
everyone seemed to enjoy their momentary bubble bliss.

some were even impressed by our bubble-blowing skills...

....others...not so much.

spreading the love through bubbles...success.

Praise God for moments like these.

dramatic change

03/17/09. approximately 11:30 am.
post-hardcore-psych 129 final
aka..most ridiculously difficult final i've ever taken...ever.

on friday, i built myself up to finally receive the letter that would determine whether or not i would be an RA (resident advisor) next year. friday was a tease, i'd have have to wait a couple days more to find out instead. then today, two finals down before an early start to spring break...but first...the moment of truth. with an anxious kduh by my side, i tried to stay calm, look cool, it's just a position... kduh even said, "y'know, if you don't get it, im not gonna know what to say". thanks for the honesty kduh.

i've already been blessed with so many opportunities at UCI so far (and even with backup ambitions lined up...just in case). i don't mean to say this out of arrogance, but out of gratitude for the blessings God has bestowed upon me. during this waiting period, i had to keep reminding myself...whatever happens, it's in God's plan, He'll stick me wherever im supposed to be.

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me". (Philippians 4:11-13)

kduh and i walked up to the intimidating desk where a handful of staff was sitting behind an even more intimidating box of letters. my acceptance/rejection letter that determined my entire next year was somewhere stashed away in that box. i will be content...i will be content...i will be content...

i opened the letter. i tried looking for key words like "Congratulations" or "Unfortunately". But at first, my eyes did not see either of those. Instead, my eyes transfixed on "RESIDENT ADVISOR in MIDDLE EARTH"... then i found the Congratulations... then the rest of the words became jumbled...

with a congratulatory hug and some deep exhales of relief, that was that. i was tempted to return to the desk to thank the staff, including Daniel who interviewed me. i wanted to tell them..."thank you for giving me a chance, thank you for believing in me". but after awkward looks from kduh, i resisted. i dropped him off at brandywine (ah, brandywine...unlimited brandywine will probably get the best of me..yikes).

i attempted to walk home, with the barely-read letter in my hand. i didn't know what to do with myself. i wanted to sit and reflect, but my nerves prevented me from doing so. the emotions, the plans, the hesitation, the disbelief. what should i do?! who should i tell?! then i knew...

==============

ME: Julian! So I just had two very difficult finals today...and then i picked up my letter....

JURR: Okaaaay, and...?

ME: And it says, "Congratulations! We are very pleased to offer you a Residence Life staff position for the 2009-2010 academic year. You are being offered the following position and placement: RESIDENT ADVISOR in MIDDLE EARTH".

JURR: WOW! Congrats! Wow, your whole next year just changed dramatically. it's like SPOP for a whole year!...You're gonna make posters... they're gonna call you "RA Melody"...

==============

he shared the exciting experience with me (including even more excitement after i mentioned the bwine deal). i expressed how i felt spoiled by God's goodness, how i would've been happy had i not gotten it because i would've pursued other opportunities, how i was =trying= to walk home and wanted to sit down and take in the experience. so he suggested that i did stop and write what i'm feeling so i can re-live the moment later. and so i did, i found a table...and so what you're reading is the final product of finally forcing myself to sit still.

oh man, it still hasn't hit me yet. my head's spinning, heart racing. my usual self started formulating these crazy goals, ideas, plans for next year... and a deceiving way to reveal the good news to my 198 roomies.

as freaked out as i am for next year, i hope that even my work as a future RA is good in His eyes. i pray that i do not lose focus on what is truly important in my life, that i establish valuable relationships, that i do not fall into temptation, that i maintain faith during the struggles i will face, that i remain thankful for this unique experience. in a way, im glad i didn't turn around and eagerly return to the desk to thank the staff. i would've been thanking the wrong people. i believe that i did not receive this position because of the staff and it certainly wasn't my own doing...

it was all in God's hands...
this is where im supposed to be.

so thank you God for giving me a chance,
thank you God for believing in me.

coincidences do not exist.

After a mini-reunion with some ladies for francine's going-away shindiggle, I acquired a massive craving for some froyo. We joined miss ocampo at our yogurtworld destination and satisfied the craving with some funsies on the side. We did the usual catch-up, which means they basically just filled me in on some rather surprising things.

From good times like these, I'm learning how increasingly difficult it can be to be away from family & friends, away from home. Nonetheless, I am content with my occasional trips down the 5 freewizzle to have my usual rendezvous with friends...
it makes it all the more special.

When our chit-chat was winding down, some randoms walked in... aka sgmb peoples including james and vinh (who we haven't really hung out with in years!) and some new faces too. We all caught up, the usual "so whatcha up to now" deal and after we over-extended our stay at the world of yogurt, we began to head out.


Before leaving, something provoked me to stop and squeeze in a brief dialog with Vinh. I let him know that upon some idle web-browsing a while ago, I had seen his posts about being Christian. I told him how encouraging they were and how I was interested in talking to him more about it, but considering the madness in that crowded place, the conversation was cut short. Despite the conciseness of our conversation, it was such a blessing!

================

Later that night, we were able to somewhat continue our talk:

Snipits from my message:

whoa. what a coincidence. when i said i saw your myspace posts about being christian earlier today, i was talking about ones from a couple months back. i didn't even see this one!

…but anyway, it was just really encouraging to see someone so brave about their faith especially in a generation where no one wants to be called out about their sinful nature…


…i hope we can talk more about this. im always down for some Christ-centered conversations... i find those to be harder and harder to find these days. it was nice seeing you after a million years. take it easy buddy.

-mel

====================

Snipits from his response message:


…His grace, mercy, and compassion for us is so great and incomprehensible, I am indebted to my Creator with my life. Our flesh is crucified on the cross, and our new life is born through his resurrection. Of course I'm not perfect, but "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" Phil. 1:6


I don't think any of this was a coincidence, the post this morning, running into you after so many years, your testimony, God has definitely blessed this time…

In a lot of ways, YOU have encouraged me, and I am praying for you sister.

Grace and peace to you from our Savior,
Vinh

let me know when you wanna talk/hang!

====================

God places you in situations for a reason.

There is a reason for EVERY encounter.

Silly me to think this particular reunion was simply a coincidence. :)

the blanks

remember in elementary school where you would complete those silly madlibs of nonsense, trying to insert the most random words to create the most bizarre passage possible just for a momentary kick? then you and your friends would enjoy giggles over the ridiculous gibberish you just produced.

man...childhood. childish games.
and now, reaching adulthood...kinda. no more games, adult-ish ambitions.


How's this for a more age-appropriate madlib...


College has been so ___________ and I'm glad I ____________. I will graduate from _________ in the year ________. Then, I will get my _____________ at _________ University within the next _______ years, then I can finally start my career as a _______________ like I've always _________________. In my free time, I hope to _____________ because I've always wanted to _____________. Then, of course, by the time I'm _______, I will marry a ________________ man and have ______ kids and live in a _____________ house in ___________. I've heard post-college life is ______________, but I can't wait. Life will be so _____________!



yikes. kicks and giggles have now become some form of anxiety and uncertainty. im getting to that shaky point between college and "real world" where i need to fill in these blanks with significant things and not fool around with things without purpose, without meaning. i have all these life goals, plans, aspirations, desires, wants, hopes and dreams and and and...

Commit your work to the Lord

and your plans will be established.
[Proverbs 4:15]

...and i'm excited to see where He will direct me, how He will shape my life around these self-centered ambitions because i know the only thing
that will actually
guarantee meaning
in my life
is Him.

i miss it.

sunrise.
daytime.
sunset.

buona notte.

Matthew 28:19

"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit"

===============

March 8 2009

[italicized parts are excerpts from my testimony]: Up until about a year ago, I thought my Christian life was good enough...but looking back, what I thought was good enough, was not quite "good enough”...

At first, it was a slight struggle whether or not I even wanted to get baptized again. I mean, I was baptized as a baby…what’s the point of doing it again? What a naïve thought. It was even difficult to try explaining it to my parents… “no, it doesn’t make my first baptism invalid…it’s more like a re-dedication”. I told them...this was just something I really needed to do.

Upon preparation for baptism, Pastor Ed pulled out the program for our baptismal service. Wait, Pastor Ed, what does that asterisk mean next to my name? It means you’re giving your testimony. Wait…whaaaaat?? No real traumas, no near-death experiences. What could I possibly say? I began to type it out and realized I had more to say than I thunk. I created several drafts, trying to make it concise but inclusive of the essential events that really changed my life. It exposed the reality that it has definitely been one crazy year in my spiritual walk with God. He is so good and I am so grateful.

I referred to this transition as a “spiritual revival”. God began speaking to me loud and clear, changing my heart and drawing me back to Him.

I stayed up until about 5 am Sunday morning, making some last minute edits. Throughout the day of baptism, my anxiety escalated upon thoughts of my impending testimony delivery. Fortunately, I was able to give a practice read to Miss Helen to ease some nervousness and let out some tears before the real deal [thanks again for listening and I thank God for your constant encouragement…yes, we’re friends and I love you!] Even as I sat there beside the pool, I tried hard to convince myself that it was the chilly breeze and not my nerves that made my knees quiver.

And then I shared my testimony.

My voice was shaky and my heart was pounding. There were more people there than I expected and their attention was on these words that He has precisely formulated for me. I rejected the importance of eye contact during public speaking in fear of catching a glimpse of my dad, my sister…or Julian.

I really thank God for blessing me with the friendship-turned-relationship with Julian because through the years, he’s been a consistent example of wisdom, selflessness, and love…I believe that God brought Julian (and many others) into my life when I =really= needed the encouragement and Lord-willing, we will continue to grow together in the faith.

It all happened so fast. I was called down to the jacuzzi. Pastor Ed held my hands and supported me. I professed my faith and before I could think, I was submerged, I was baptized. Upon emerging, I felt very cold... but refreshed and an overwhelming joy filled my heart.
Praise God.

im so thankful that my daddy, my sister & her new husband were able to come and witness this momentous event!

and im thankful for this awesome guy,

a major reason why my testimony even exists.

[thanks for the pic helen wong!]

So why did I do it again? Well because I'm older and now able to understand the purpose behind baptism. But more importantly, I did this as a testament of my revived faith and ultimate submission to Him...and I can only hope I glorified Him through the process. And apparently after baptism, you are automatically a member of cfbc!! What exciting news to receive! I am now officially a member of a church where I've felt the most comfortable with the people and the most passionate about serving.

I know now more than ever, I am hungry to learn, and eager to grow and I pray Lord-willing that cfbc is where I’ve been called to do so. And I am ever-so-grateful for God’s ultimate sacrifice, grace, forgiveness and patience with me as I continue on this spiritual path He has laid out for me...

nutshell version of Christian's bday surprise

happy 21st birthday to a VERY surprised

& VERY grateful Christian Cruz!

no tears for the birthday boy that day.
and all smiles from this photo-worthy duo

twinsie-for-the-day helen and i join in the dress up fun
thank God for the Navales and Cruz families' hospitality
and plenty of good eats!
the partay was a great success and lots of funnnn...
...even with costume malfunctions, such as bravey's red-stained feets
photo themed party, equipped with its very own...
PHOTO BOOTH!!
our modeling skills need some work bfriend

post-movie convo buddyain't no rang, ain't no thang ladies.awesome people x100000.
and i thought this was pretty awesome too.