REVIVAL

Yeah, im not the same girl I was. I don’t fit into the same size 0 jeans I did when I went thru some self-image issues. I refuse to thrive off drama like I did at the cafeteria tables. Infatuation is a thing of the past. A friend to me is not just someone who gives me rides. Childhood dreams of marrying my high school sweetheart are definitely down the drain, along with my ambitions to be a lawyer or doctor. I don’t go to church just because I follow my parents’ Sunday morning routine. I can’t curse the world for all the downfalls I submit to. I’m not the girl at the party talking jibberish at the party because I’m just a little above the legal limit. I’m really trying not to result to gossip and angry venting sessions as I am to prayer and understanding. My goals and focus on what is important has been somewhat tweaked and I’m often a mess of overwhelming emotions, but it’s okay because stress is temporary, if not non-existent.

I feel like I’ve grown, well hopefully so, considering im coming to the end of my third year in freaking college. I think I’ve just been blessed to interact with some passionate, driven, compassionate people that have not actually made me who I am now, but allowed me to appreciate what I’ve become through the years. I’ve learned to accept personality differences and acknowledge strengths in people that I would normally overlook due to prejudgments. I know this type of post comes at the beginning/end of the year, but right now, I feel like im at a good place right now. It’s not so much safe and comfortable as it is comforting to know I have established genuine relationships and developed a fresh perspective of life. I know I’ve written about this “transformation” several times but really I’ve been feeling refreshed. And yes, there’s always struggle, frustration and times where I just don’t feel right, where i question my intentions and purpose…but ultimately, you really have to abandon that mindset and direct your attention to the positive. Have some faith, it'll all work out.