So I made another attempt to pick some brains about this lingering topic. This time, it was my beloved roomies of 198 who would attempt to enlighten me. Again, two girls and three guys would try to gain insight from each other. What began as a casual story about that previous car ride turned into a whirlwind of passionate opinions, opposing views between the ladies and gents, circular thoughts. The following is what I managed to type during the jumble of “romance and relationships talk at 198”. [NOTE: these are my interpretations of the debate]
TOPIC #1: HOPELESS ROMANTICS
GIRL: Society’s idea of romance is so skewed by the media like romantic movies where like the guy shows up in the rain and shows up at the girl’s door to dramatically express his love.
BOY: I think you have to distinguish between etiquette and romance. For example, paying for stuff, opening doors is just being a gentleman, not romantic.
GIRL: The term “hopeless romantic”…by saying that, it’s more like they’re in love with being in love.
BOY: Hopeless…should be replaced with clueless. There is no set definition of “romance”.
TOPIC #2: HOW TO WOO
GIRL: So we all know that girls like to be romanced and wooed, but do guys like to be wooed too?
BOY: If you’re in tune with the conversations, you just know what they like…then it’s simple.
GIRL: But I think that romance can’t be excessive, definitely in moderation or else it gets played out…and it can’t be cliché like a bouquet of roses. I’m all about the creative stuff and little surprises.
BOY: Well, it’s different for different people. Some girls like that rose petals stuff.
GIRL: So then how does a guy impress a girl?
BOY 1: I like to be spontaneous…dress up…do something they like…surprise them…
BOY 2: …shave regularly…SHOWER.
TOPIC #3: WHAT A GIRL/GUY WANTS
GIRL: Because of the ideal situations in movies and stuff, girls always want to be wooed and romanced. Guys, on the other hand, want that best friend/girlfriend combo.
GIRL: So then what do guys want in a relationship? Isn’t it true that a guy wants that independence…but with a girl to come home to…while girls become more dependent because of the whole romantic idea.
BOY: Wouldn’t you say even that’s a generalization though? Not all girls want to be romanced, not all guys want the best friend/girlfriend. It’s all subjective.
GIRL: I just think it’s different for girls because we’re kind of on a time crunch. We’re not gonna have…all this for long. That’s why at this age right now, you can’t help but think in the long-term.
BOY: And THAT’S the mentality that scares guys.
GIRL: Well…when I’m old and wrinkly, I still want to be romanced.
TOPIC #4: THE PROBLEM/CONFUSION WITH LABELS
GIRL: What IS the difference between the whole talking, dating, seeing each other…courting?
BOY: Well, I’m not really familiar with the whole courting thing. But I think the hierarchy is…talking is like casually trying to get at someone…then dating and seeing each other is pretty much the same thing, more exclusive to that one person.
GIRL: Why can’t people just say…hanging out and getting to know each other?
BOY: The labels are just for comfort. That’s why you need that whole awkward “what are we” conversation because you need to acknowledge the exclus...exclusiv---exclusivity. You don’t want to be with a girl “just hanging out and getting to know each other” for a long time then you go do some other girl because you thought you and that other girl were “just hanging out and getting to know each other”.
GIRL: I think society’s idea of the progression of a relationship screws up how people approach relationships. It’s like…I like you…okay, now we’re talking…oh wait, now we’re dating…okay, now we need to be boyfriend-girlfriend…okay, and somewhere down the line, we need to be in love.
TOPIC #5: TURN-OFFS
GIRL: What’s like the ultimate turn-offs for a guy?
BOY 1: Clingy…crazy girls, I hate crazy girls. Ghetto…I don’t like ghetto girls.
BOY 2: Hygiene. [lol]
BOY 1: I don’t like it when a girl is too close with her guy friends or ex-boyfriends.
BOY 3: Another big thing is her friends. If her friends aren’t cool then…eh.
BOY 2: Or how she interacts with your friends, that’s always a big factor.
BOY: I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and trust their opinions on why they chose that girl. I can usually see why they like them.
TOPIC #6: ON ANOTHER NOTE…
BOY 1: Don’t try to doom me.
BOY 1: No, DOOM me.
-------------------IN CONCLUSION...there is none. As concluded during a recent life session, avoid having too many expectations, just go with, which is definitely easier said than done. Relationships are complicated and the ideas of romance and love are just as complex. Everyone wants to feel loved, everyone wants that special attention, and as you can see, everyone has very different definitions of it all. Again, it's subjective, it's circumstantial, which leaves me to believe that questioning these ideas is pretty useless. But...oh well. Ciao.
3 comments:
interesting read. So, to sum it up for me, i still have no idea what girls want.
Interesting post. Of course this solves nothing, since most of the opinions were given in conjecture, but it does open doors. I like the idea of questioning and discussing, so long as it's followed up by action...haha but I suppose that's because I'm a boy.
And labels are definitely quite the confusion.
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