where you end up.

Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"—yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring.

What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say,
"If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that."
[James 4:13-15]
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my original plans fell through so i temporarily abandoned a couple life-list items, pushing my idealistic ambitions to the back of my head. months passed and now i feel like God has been sprinkling signs all over to draw me back to those original plans. maybe it's better that i didn't pursue such big dreams before because they were clearly for self-centered gain anyway. and living for yourself can be quite empty. but now i have the resources, a re-ignited passion, and the right focus.

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Commit your work to the LORD
and your plans will be established.
[Proverbs 16:3]
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as with all things in life, anything can happen. it's all in God's hands and i need to be mindful of blessings in every situation... even if these plans of mine fall through once again. i really need to further develop a steadfast trust in the Lord in this situation and every other part of my life. it's so easy to try and take control of our lives, building up self-centered lifestyles and forgetting to completely depend on God. it's so easy to claim that A, B and C will happen in X, Y, and Z amount of time. while "wishful thinking" may help to keep your eye on the prize, it is through prayer and trust in God that you will find the comfort & inspiration to actually move forward.

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Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
[Proverbs 3:5-6]
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so... if the Lord wills, next summer i will be in Thailand and the Philippines for missions. between now and then, i want to grow closer to God, i need to learn more, develop my knowledge, read more and definitely pray more about it. im obviously feeling unprepared right now, so i really need God for strength and guidance, to push me towards this ginormous goal. i hope i can keep Him at the center through all this excitement. but i also understand that if these particular aspects of my future do not turn out how i want them to, i know it's all in God's good plan for me. because i've learned that where you end up is exactly where God wants you.