ciao 2008!

The final stages of my college career have made its imminent appearance. I still don’t know whether new & different obligations will keep me here at UCI for another year (victory lap!), but I trust that I’ll end up exactly where I should be. In the same way, the end of this wonderful 2008 year is rapidly approaching. Since maybe October, I’ve started several year-in-reflection posts, but my loathing of letting things go has prevented me from actually completing an entry. So much has happened in 2008 that my head is already spinning, trying to pinpoint every detail.

So here goes yet another attempt to whip this post out.

Some snipits: Started this blog (ha!). Re-adjusted after studying abroad in Italy. Turned 21 (and then stopped drinking shortly after). New York with the sibs. SPOP returner Gold Year SPohana. Rex and I broke up. Reunions and playtime. MCIA Epsilon year finishes and Zeta Year begins. One of four team captains, 4^th (and final) year on the team. 198 home sweet home once again and all its adventures. Family matters. Broken. Eyes opened. Working two jobs. Ate Mae’s engaged!. New friendsies. Letting go of things. Started attending Christian fellowship bible church. Began “courting” that julian guy.

To help me in this reminiscent process, I referred to old posts since I started this blog at the end of December after returning from my Italian adventures. I noticed that when I came back, I wasn’t the same, I was conflicted. Something was missing, something was wrong with how I was going through life. For months after my return, I blindly continued in my routine ways, ignoring God’s push to move me elsewhere.

I think above all the changes I’ve endured throughout the year, I think the most significant event was my “spiritual revival”. I used to refer to it as a “spiritual transformation”, but I think revival is more appropriate because it indicates a restoration of life. I reached an ultimate low point mid-way thru 2008 and I needed something/someone to trigger that revival and I know I’ve found just what I’ve been missing. I feel like my life took this remarkable turn when I let go of worldly things and grasped onto my faith. God has definitely made His presence known throughout this year, specifically in the last half of the year where my heart was breaking for multiple reasons. I highly doubt that I could’ve overcome these challenges if I hadn’t given my life completely to Him. I'm still fighting these everyday struggles, but with God on my side and the push from various support systems, i am not so afraid. All of this because I finally accepted jurr's persistent invitations to attend a single bible study. Ah yes, God's perfect timing.

And now by His grace, my eyes are opened to this brighter side of life that I failed to recognize during my self-centered past. I always thought that I could get through all this on my own, but now with God and His teachings displayed through Christ, the support from the bfriend and other cfbc friendsies, I feel more ready to pursue this spiritual walk. I am now more understanding, more trusting, more at peace during rocky situations because I know that “all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose”- Romans 8:28 (jurr, that reference in the yogurtland parking lot really made an impact on me). I’ve always believed in God, I’ve always went to church, but it’s different now. I’m learning for me, I’m allowing Him to guide my life…completely. I’ve never felt so good about not being in control (and if you know me, you know that’s a personal challenge). I attribute all the blessings (ginormous and tiny) to Him. I know I don’t deserve any of them, but I am forever thankful for His amazing grace.

Intrigued? I'm always down to talk.

===========

I love when the new year rolls around. It’s the perfect opportunity to begin with a clean slate. I know I’ll be starting off the year fresh with this new state of mind, new ambitions, new relationships, and (re)new(ed) faith. I am ecstatic to see where God takes me, the twists and turns, the hardships that He will use to grow me, the blessings He will use to remind me of His constant presence. 2009 will be mighty fine (sorry, I couldn’t think of a better rhyme).

I definitely encourage yalls to reflect on this past year. Take note of the mistakes you made and acknowledge the accomplishments...and then maybe throw in a thank you to the man upstairs for both. Love you all. See you wonderful ladies and gents in 2009.

=============

to all of YOU, those who inspire and challenge me, the ones who calm my anxieties, the ones who make me laugh way too hard, the ones who remain by my side despite change, the ones who are proof that God exists:

[from postsecret.blogspot.com]

THANK YOU.