"i dont wanna forget...

...the present is a gift"- a.keys

While I hesitantly confront my fourth year of college, I’m thinking two things: “where the heck did my college career go?” and “holy crap, I’m about to encounter this daunting “real world” that people dread”. Yikes. [insert freakout] Most people who are currently in that “real world” status claim that it’s not too glamorous and always offer that same advice, “enjoy college while you can, it’ll go by way too fast”. I think I’m finally beginning to acknowledge the scary truth in that statement.

Although I absolutely crave spontaneity in my life, I’ve just always been a fan of structure. I’ve always been one to throw myself into various activities, eagerly seeking and exploring new challenges to occupy my time. I believe I thrive off of stress and hectic schedules, sad I know. Before, the concept of insatiability used to be an accurate parallel to my life. I was always unhappy with my current state, always wanting something better than what I had, feeling like I always had to do more…more…and more. Maybe now that’s why I am always busy, always moving in this fast-paced lifestyle. It is not that I’m ungrateful or bored; I suppose I am just in constant search of something new to challenge my current self to then influence my future self.

It’s late and I should be sleeping but hopefully this jibberish makes sense.

Recently, I’ve been browsing through countless websites to search for credential programs, grad schools and programs for teaching abroad, even perusing information about the Peace Corps. Luckily, after plenty of google searches, I think I have established some major ambitions for the next five years, then I realized…I don’t even really know what I’m doing in the next hour and yet, I’ve meticulously plotted out my life until the age 26ish…is that a little strange? I wondered if this was going a little overboard with the preparation, considering so many unexpected events can immediately alter any detailed plan…and considering I only have so much control over my life because it’s not so much in my hands as it is in His.

I guess in our society, there’s obviously this intimidating emphasis on the future, a social theory that the future results are the ultimate prize in life, not the gradual progression. Being successful often refers to the moola, the snazzy cars, fancy house, all the luxuries that society ignorantly associates with success. So we feverishly plan more, work more, spend more, boast more, compare more, want and want more. But this tunnel-vision of the future often causes us to neglect this wonderful present. Sometimes we even ignore the blessings of today because our focus is on the anxieties of tomorrow [Matthew 6:34]. Again, sad I know.

I am not denying the significance of planning a future at all. In fact, personally I am super excited for the path that God will lead me on, whether that’s how my job interview will go tomorrow or what country I’ll find myself at in 3 years or what will happen if things work out between us… I just don’t know. There’s so much mystery that makes life rather intriguing. Do not take for granted all these blessings right in front of you.

And have faith kid, it’ll all work out as it should. [Romans 8:28]

“live each day like it’s the best day of your life”
- hdiaz quoting philee. Word.

quite an eventful week

I haven’t blogged in a while, so this is somewhat of a purge of personal life events. Trust me, there’s an overload of stuff below, so feel free to just scroll through the pictures.

[08/14] THE LONG-AWAITED MEETING

(If you want the entire =detailed= story, I’m sure julian wouldn’t mind repeating it for the billionth time. Otherwise, here’s my take in a nutshell...)

With God’s work, Julian found himself in San Diego for jonjon’s graduation from boot camp so we made plans for him to finally come over to my house and settle some unfinished courting business. After over an hour of getting lost due to my lack of navigational skills, he finally arrived, flustered...but in good spirits (thank God he has a sense of humor).

As I had hoped, he hit it off with my mom and grandma, which is a personal indicator of great things to come. They would later express their appreciation for his respect, comfortable social skills, and genuine character. My mom even openly (as in right in front of him) explained how she liked how he was so comfortable, “as if we’ve known him for a long time now”.

What really touched my heart was the comfortable interaction between julian and my grandma. Considering she’s been rather ill lately, she hasn’t been eating, but tonight she was grubbing nonstop, topping off her unusually large appetite with a slice of that yummy banana creme pie he picked up. She explained that she was able to eat a lot because she was in good company. On top of that, my heart melted as they spoke about their involvement in the church, another kicker to the julian scoreboard. Somewhere during dinner, my little gramma even randomly boasted, “I can sing... acapella”…then she sang “Amazing Grace” for him. What a moving moment to finally hear her sing once again and to see her so happy…and then looking over and there he was…just as happy.

Apparently, Julian’s one-fourth Chinese background also provoked fascination for them. That made for interesting twists and amusing references in our dinner talk. My grandma had urged him to bring her egg-drop soup upon his next visit, made him promise her a date to the best Chinese restaurants in LA, and invited him to a supposed “Chinese party” she was planning…?

Then, the moment of truth. We sat my parents down at the table, which made my mom nervous to wonder what the serious news was. [here's some snipits of the convo]

Julian: I understand the importance of family for your daughter so I wanted to respect that and ask for your blessing before I pursue a relationship with Melody…

Mom: Wow, that’s very nice of you. No one’s ever done this before. You have our blessing.

Dad: You are always welcome here.

They chit-chatted for a little more and then, that was that. Immediately after stepping out the door, we both let out a huge sigh of relief and embraced in triumph. The greatest obstacle (which turned out to not be a major challenge at all) was defeated…thanks to julian’s ability to counter awkward situations and utmost sincerity…and maybe some of the success could be attributed to his Chinese-ness…maybe.

Thank God for placing twists in our lives
and for the unexpected blessings that continue
to reinforce His presence through it all.

As usual, it all worked out. What a relief.
And that was that. And with that, it was official.

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[08/15] 10.5 LAGUNA LOLLERSKATERS

Nick Cheung scooped me and wes up and headed to fountain valley for some good ol’ rollerskating!! After grumbling about the over-priced admission and skate rentals, it was $10 for sure well spent. Although multi-tasking between skating and dancing proved to be a challenge, everyone was clearly enjoying themselves. The intense lighting and constant circling left me dizzy but in good spirits, some decked out in spaerobics costumes, racing and making trains through the rink. A full-on dance-off battle occurred at one point in the center of the rink. We brought the party to the hormonal-high-schooler-filled venue. After a quick stop for some slurpees, we headed back to diana’s to just kick it. My ultimate favorite part [thanks to DJ fraser, best friend] was the collective singing of great hits like “all my life” and “im yours” (a personal fave). I remember taking a breather during our SPkaraoke session and looking around… everyone with huge smiles, embracing and serenading each other, all in the moment consisting of awesome tunes and even more awesome vibes… to me, these moments are so idealistic, almost like a dream where, at that single moment, everything feels so euphorically beautiful.

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[08/16] SPOP 10 TALENT SHOW

I found myself in Pacific Ballroom once again for the SPOP 10 talent show, the last one. Being limited to just an audience member was an initially saddening to be unable to perform on that stage at the last spop… but afterwards, I realized I wouldn’t have it any other way. I felt like a proud mother as I watched my SPohana kids represent the family… and to stand by Isaac while we cheered our hearts out for spop modern. Everyone killed it, finishing off the summer strong. I super SPloved being surrounded by the wonderful goldmembers…in addition to members of the staffer family of past years. It felt surreal to be among such great people.

^ PURPLE. my roots.

^ GOLD.

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[08/17] STAFF CLOSING

I expected to be drenched in tears by the end of closing, perhaps provoked by emotional speeches and the realization that it’s …yknow… over? To my delight, there wasn’t that impending sense of closure. Instead, the room was filled with hyped energy, giggles and a not-so-silent touch game activity. Everyone just at an extreme happiness level. We all said our thank you's and basked in the splove.

During staff closing, i even received a phone call:

julian: so on top of getting a girlfriend this week...i also made Mavyn!
me: what?! are you serious?! CONGRATULATIONS!!

congrats jurr, i really am extremely proud of you and support you thru this (and everything else). i suppose this was an eventful week for you as well.

That night brought everyone back together at the pub for Hannah's going away and shane’s birthday shindig. The vibes in that pub were incredible. Dancing, performing with spop modern and more mingling among great people…

and even a spontaneous MCIA reunion!

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[08/18] MCIA WELCOME WEEK SHOWCASE

MCIA reunited again to see the new choreo for the upcoming welcome week set. Everyone’s choreo seriously blew me away, to see the improvement and dedication of my teammates makes me beyond excited for this new set. I’m so proud of this team, my family. After a quick cabinet meeting, I headed to cha with kruh only to encounter a storytelling party. Unfortunately, I just missed julian’s interesting account on the progression of our relationship, but it was nice to hear others'. With the chaos of welcome week practices coming soon, I really just enjoyed being among the lively group once again, just chillin’ on a crisp summer night.

Following the impromptu storytelling session, julian and I headed to Newport to satisfy our carne asada fries craving. Our unexpected destination for our first official date was under the UCI signs on Bison. He said he thought that area looked cool...and it really was. Despite the vicious bite of the ants beneath us, it was nice. And I loved all the gifts too, you're full of surprises.

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[08/19] RAMEN & A CONCERT

I was blessed to find myself at a cute little ramen place for lunch with timmygoboomboom chen. Our lunch was filled with a heavy conversation of reflection, the goods and the not-so-much’s of spop. It was really refreshing to be able to reminisce and vent about the summer over some delicious noodles and gyoza. Not only did we discuss spop matters, but we did some getting-to-know-you through topics of music, movies and a discovery of quirky hobbies.

Later that night, i headed to Anaheim with brentobear and ang for an intimate concert with matt pryor (get up kids) and chris conley (saves the day lead). I've missed being in that familiar setting, a small venue full of adoring fans, singing along with the performers. Although I only knew a handful of songs, I loved being in such a positive environment with chill tunes.

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[08/20] AQUARIUM with SOME FRIENDSIES

I woke up at 6:45 am and realized sleep was overrated… and I was too pumped for the load of festivities planned for the day… so I got up, got ready, and got excited. The five of us headed over to marlo’s place in Lakewood where we were greeted by the hospitable Asis family (now I see where marlo gets it from). To our delight, we were surprised by platefuls of rice, eggs, sausage. What a blessing to be immediately welcomed into someone’s home for a scrumptious meal to start the day. We finally arrived at the aquarium where my “little girl mode” kicked in, eagerly weaving through the galleries. The exhibits were excellent, the colors were brilliant and the fish and other animals (sea lions and otters!) left me in awe… and the company wasn’t too shabby either. And yes, I found nemo… and jurian even surprised me with a new friend, an awesomely spotted sea turtle uniquely named Sea Lion, who participated in the picture-taking fun! Our next stop was Guppy’s to stuff our faces with an array of kimchi/salmon/Hawaiian fried rice dishes, brick toast and of course... shaved ice! Apparently our eyes were bigger than our stomachs as food coma quickly arrived, calling for siesta back at marlo’s. I personally knocked out while the rest of the group alternated between napping and watching “Princess Mononoke”. To our surprise, marlo’s momma had been cooking up a storm in the kitchen once again. Although our stomachs were still packed with all types of goodness, we couldn’t help but return to the dinner table… this time for yummy beefsteak, watermelon.... and more rice. We finished up just in time to head to downtown Disney for some fireworks atop the parking structure, finishing off yet another blessed day.

After retrieving my car, I took the journey to walnut to drop julian off at home. Thank God the drive doesn’t feel that long in the midst of good conversation. We further strengthened our relationship by sharing more fun facts of various aspects of our lives. To continue the momentum of the dialogue, we parked in a nearby park to prolong our conversation. In the middle of our “getting to know you” session, a bright light flashed on our car… a bored cop approached the driver’s side while julian whispered, “oh no, I don’t have my ID”, which didn’t make the situation better since he was the one driving. After nervously fumbling to roll down the window, the officer proceeded to take julian out of the car, frisk him then place him in the backseat of the cop car (which I was pretty jealous about). Several minutes of confusion passed. The officer then asked me to step out of the car and place my hands on the hood while he ran background checks on us. With the light shining directly on me, hands still on hood, all I could think was, “this WOULD happen to us”. I rolled my eyes and tried to fight the smiles and laughter about the whole situation. After a mixup with my registration, the officer returned my license, then returned my registration. “Can I have him back?” He joked, “Nope, I’m gonna have to keep him, he has some warrants out for his arrest”. After flirtatious small talk to avoid additional awkwardness, julian was released and we finally headed to julian’s. During the two-minute drive to his house, we cheered and shared a hearty laugh about what had just happened. “I didn’t know these crazy events were part of the package…I didn’t sign on for this”. But it’s okay, they make for interesting stories... experiencing perfect scenarios just isn’t our style anyway. After more laughs, we decided to end the night on that oddly high note.

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[08/21] SPohana family dinner

At staff closing, the SPohana family made plans to have a little get-together before vegas. Jeff and I already knew that we had the cutest family of sweeties, but little did we know that they would surprise us with a scavenger hunt leading to a lovely dinner and special gifts from the kids! It was the first time ALL ten of us (including angelica!) have been together for a very long time. I was overjoyed to observe the kids during dinner, to acknowledge how much they’ve grown since our first awkward encounter, so comfortable with each other and themselves... I certainly felt the love. It’s the ideal family dynamic I hoped for as a returner. You kids thank us for our hard work, but really YOU motivate me and jeff with your enthusiasm and love of spop. Oh SPohana, so sweet… and edgy... sometimes. I’m so proud of each of you and seriously, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

(they even wore their shirts...how cute are they?!)

and now...off to vegas babyyy.

il mio aniversario

It has been exactly one year since I ventured off to explore the great abyss, also known as Europe. My study abroad experience was such a great blessing for which I am eternally grateful to God, my parents and others who supported me throughout the trip. I acquired pride for my temporary home of Florence, learned the language, ate the delicious meals, mingled with locals. It really was like a dream to be surrounded by art and landmarks only seen in textbooks and tv...just to comfortably wander the streets of Florence. I established incredible friendships with my two guelfa girls, Caitlin and Courtney, whose carefree spirits would teach me more than I ever imagined. Over four months, my eyes were opened to just a small snipit of what this wonderful world has to offer and instigated my desire to continue my world travels. In one semester, I fell in love with the Italian culture, explored new things, tested my capabilities, re-defined what was important in my life, and experienced life outside of this California bubble. Although being abroad provoked a greater sense of appreciation for everything and everyone from home, it was bittersweet to come back to a familiar domain. Little did I know that upon my return, 2008 would soon sneak up on me…and practically every aspect of what I left behind at home would change.

But, no need for me to worry because I WILL return there someday. Arrivederci Italia.

C-Day!

After watching the spop 9 talent show and unpacking my life from the weekend at home, I laid down for a moment of relaxation, only to receive a surprising phone call.

Jurian: Hey, where are you?

Merody: In my apartment...

Jur: Okay perfect, walk over to trader joe’s…the milk aisle.

Mer: What? Right now? um…okay?

A little confused, but still I ask no questions and head over to trader joe’s, which begins my reversed kidnapping adventure. To my surprise, friends from cfbc begin to pop up around the store. Apparently they had all been hanging out, having a Chalk-and-Car wash party and as a group decided to take a field trip to Irvine to drop off julian at work…and perhaps satisfy some sweet tooth cravings during the wait. I am then given the responsibility of tour guide for the evening... and the next thing I know is we're off to newport for some Sprinkles.

Appropriately dubbed C-DAY we enjoyed sprinkles Cupcakes, the Coast, imaginary Catch
phrase, Campus Car lot hide-and-seek, trader joe's Cups with Cheap milk, driving down Culver,
Chinese food with Chopsticks, Cut-up moChilato, Cotton Candy Clouds, good Conversation, all in which were Christ-Centered [for 100 points to helen!]. I was really blessed I was able to share in the spontaneous fun with new friends. Hopefully there will be many more outings to come...

[photo credits to helen and her snazzy camera functions..thanks for teaching me too!]

I really am blessed that I’ve been welcomed into a church family so easily… regardless of the obvious explanation involving an essential member. I feel that this fun-loving group contains genuine people who are eager to grow in their faith as I have been aiming to do as well. I’m also realizing that despite predictable awkward remarks, I’m beginning to feel more comfortable with every encounter with this group…I can be my overly-competitive self and have them openly counter my childish ways. Sweet.

This undoubtedly confirms that God perfectly plans out the events that occur in life. I am a firm believer that God has a plan for me. He initiated a friendship between me and Julian at the right moment. He then allowed Julian to introduce me to the cfbc group who would be available for support through this spiritual transformation at the exact moment where I was seeking Him. He has blessed me with people who I can learn from and worship/praise/serve/grow with. It is important to surround yourself with people who share the same intentions and primary focus. Their passion and dedication to the faith is really admirable and motivates me to continue on this path that I’ve unknowingly strayed away from in the past several years.

what a wonderful way to end C-DAY.
with these beautiful cotton candy clouds.
Praise God.

next posts: LA play day, un anno aniversario, meet the parents

one of those weekends

"what?! another life-changing weekend? man, you need to stop having those, you’re gonna start becoming this whole different person"

Gumball 3000 party @ Ivy Hotel with the girls.

I always love getting all did-up to go out on the town with the loves of my life. Our mission this weekend was an event that cine’s work was promoting. We ended up at some bougie hotel downtown, mingling with celebrities like carlton banks and tyson beckford, lounging in the VIP areas and dancing onstage to remixes of hip-hop and house music. I’m even getting more comfortable with the non-drinking side of going out because luckily my supportive friends are also getting used to my new lifestyle. Trust me, it IS possible to have sober nights of good clean fun. Thanks ladies, it was definitely exciting to feel pretty and high class for the night.





Yogurtworld with the BFF's.

Jackie was the first to arrive. We sat and discussed our life updates over some strategically planned yogurt. While I tried to maintain my $4 spending limit, Jackie went a tad overboard. We small-talked through the usuals…school, the sad lack of moola, drama, family, friends. Francine soon joined us and we dove right into more random blurbs of conversations, which included topics such as relationships, unexpected celebrity sightings and…tooth enamel. After stories and giggles, our conversation took a more serious note. And while I don’t care much for disclosing the details of this part, I will say that I love these girls. I know we don’t get to talk much while I’m busily going thru life in Irvine and they’re both pursuing their respective ambitions, but in the end, I have no doubt that they will be right there when I need them…and I hope they know that’s mutual. As mentioned in an earlier post, they allow me to willingly maintain connections with home regardless of my attempts to detach myself. In some ways, I even appreciate the distance because our catch-up conversations reveal our individual growth in different areas. I also realize that despite the lack of consistent communication, these girls will support me and welcome me with open arms. Man, 10+ years of friendship with these two. It seems like only yesterday we were rolling around in the grass playing “Dogs”…or rollerblading/scootering down to the park…or doing pencil drops on the bars…or having secret society club meetings…or waiting in long lines for haystack and salisbury steak for lunch…or singing “no scrubs” at the 6^th grade dance… or taking star shots pictures…or hanging out in front of the mm theaters…or I don’t know what else. The fact is…we’re rapidly growing up, approaching that infamous "real world" and I’m beyond blessed to have the same group of friendsies through it all. I thank God for all of you.

UPCOMING POSTS:

* C-day, LA play day, un ano aniversario

FULL CIRCLE...and then some.

Being done at SPOP 6 seemed like such a premature end for me. I can’t be done yet. I feel like there’s gotta be more. I don’t feel complete yet. Give me one more…just one more chance. I know I was blessed to have staffed those 5 wonderful halls already…
but I really felt like there had to be just one more.

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Then I received a surprising text from eman during SPOP 8 Gold modern practice: “just curious…do you wanna do spop 8???” I couldn’t believe it. I kept the faith and God answered. I know it seems like I’m exaggerating my excitement or the magnitude of just one more hall, but considering the abundant highs and many lows, I knew I needed just one more to wrap things all up…gain some closure I suppose. And now, SPOP 8 would be that opportunity I had been waiting for.

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I immediately called Eman.

Me: CHYEAH I’LL DO SPOP 8! [as I literally jumped for joy around the structure]

Eman: Okay, Jesse’s gonna be the cp because you’re replacing a first-year.

Me: Dude, I’ll take anything. Thank you eman, like seriously thank you so much!

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I excitedly texted Jesse to let him know that I would be joining him for spop 8.

He texted back: “Legit! Let’s freaking rock Cuesta!!”

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I was driving down the structure when I received that text and went absolutely crazy, literally screaming to the point where I realized I should maybe pull over. CUESTA?! I thanked God, drove home to tell the roomies, literally ran to the apartment…then to my surprise, our dorm friends were also at our place… “GUESS WHAT HALL I’M STAFFING TOMORROW!” “CUESTA!!” The great news was followed by cheers and high fives all over. I couldn’t contain my excitement. God does work in mysterious ways.

Talk about going full circle…CUESTA?! Cuesta was my dorm-home away from home my first year AND the first hall I staffed Purple Year [mapCUESTA treasure chest-a!]. mapCUESTA was definitely a life-changing hall where I was blessed with the presence of amazing staffers [cp brad, hollie, chris chu, geo, priya, lynda and my baby sister jungle] AND our very special kids [oh man, milo, our star!]. That was where I had made lifelong friends during the year and then initiated my staffer status in the summer. It's also where I had arrived at the pivotal realization that sacrificing my entire summer without any type of compensation was more than worth it. [yes, it’s true…we don’t get paid, we don’t get credits, we don’t get volunteer hours…but the fulfillment from the spoppers’ gratitude and testimonies after spops is a major reward in itself…and I guess the free cha and commons doesn’t hurt either]

suite 101 ladies:

suite 103 fellas:

SPOP 8, comic conCUESTA FIESTA! I went into detail about TFO (the first one) so I suppose it would be appropriate to elaborate on TLO (the last one). From their arrival, I could feel it, the energy, the enthusiasm, the shared love of games! These kids were super down. We played the games, we teased their minds, we stayed up all night, shared ghost stories, we hugged, we laughed, we expressed gratitude. We WERE the fiesta! I couldn’t have asked for a better group of kids to top off my spop action with [so thanks all you party people…jesse, christang, vince, ladi, chiell ann, jeremy and the rest of you crazy cuesta heads!]

Although I’ve been assigned to a transfer success, I went through every moment of spop 8 with the clear understanding that "this was TLO baby so make it count". It has been quite a ride full of emotions-turned-exhaustion-turned-absolute contentment. I actually don’t know what to feel right now because I know the summer isn’t exactly over yet, there's a couple more opportunities to perform with gold modern, the friendships have just begun and the staffer-spopper splove will inevitably return in the fall when random kids throw up hall signs around campus. Every SPamazing moment of the summer, whether I was in my staffer gear among spoppers or just =kickin’ it= with staffers has reaffirmed my ultimate love for this program.

BEST.FAIR.DAY.EVER.

a group of us crazy kids accepted the challenge of stuffing our faces with all the fried foods we could keep down and riding the sketchiest rides ever at the oc fair. here are the results:yummy food

all the lights

with the winner

at the fair til closing

good times.

thank you OC fair.
thank you friendsies.