what i have learned this year.

I stayed for a fifth year for a number of reasons and I’m not gonna lie… part of the reason I did was for selfish reasons. I thought being an RA would complete my college experience. The perks of free housing, free meals, easy classes, and just hanging out all year weren’t too shabby either. A year to relax and figure things out for myself. Of course, I wanted to make an impact on first years, to be an example, to learn something about myself. When I accepted this position, I knew God was going to teach me something. As this year quicky comes to an end, I have learned more about me—- by learning more about Him.

This year, God revealed my flaws, my pride, my selfish ambitions, my distrust, my desire for control, my impatience, my inability to forgive, my fear, my anxieties, my weakness apart from Him and so on and so on. By doing so, He revealed Himself as sovereign, gracious, forgiving, patient and loving beyond explanation. He revealed my constant need to cling to His constant grace and fall into His loving arms.

I believe there are opportunities regardless of where you are. I had always wanted to be an RA, but His timing is so perfect in that He was growing me a little more before He thought I was ready to do work for His kingdom. I came into the position, knowing God was on my side and that there would be opportunities to proclaim Christ. This year showed me that not only is God on my side, but He is way ahead of me, preparing it all. And man, did He provide opportunities galore! Not only has He blessed me with these 80+ great residents to serve and love, but also with other friends, including mcia, whose hearts God has been moving tremendously. It really is by His grace that He has grown me in boldness to display and share the gospel.

So I must say I’m content with leaving this place at this time. I’ve done my share in college—- got involved, learned to dance, had some fun jobs, met some really amazing people, even met a guy who I’m completely in love with. I’d say after my first four years, my past experiences built up a good amount of self-confidence. Before this year, I would consider myself pretty independent and composed (at least on the outside). I suppose through years of busy schedules and overloaded involvements, I got pretty good at enduring the hectic lifestyle. I guess living where you work took “being involved” to an extreme level. I imagined the RA position to consist of daily hangouts with residents, relaxing, being spontaneous. My prideful self told me “this year will be easy, you can do it.” God told me, “this year will have many challenges; I will not let you do it alone.” Only with Him am I able to handle these ups and downs of life. Only through Him can I see how unworthy I am and how grateful I should be. And only because of Him am I able to live through every trial and blessing that come my way. God is so good. PTL.