the missing piece.

i never realized how twisted my mentality was before coming back to my faith. i was seeking it all... in all the wrong places. i was stressed out, burnt out, people kept letting me down. yeah, i had friends, i was surrounded by people, i had things to occupy my time, i had places to go. but i don't think i ever truly considered them to be the great blessings that i am so thankful for now. before, they were just things in my life. but once i remembered how awesome God is for giving me these things, everything else fell into place. through my faith, im learning about His grace and receiving these blessed gifts that i know i do not deserve. after i remembered how awesome God is, the magnitude of gratitude for these blessings skyrocketed. i began to appreciate these gifts more because i began to understand who they were from.

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Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of lights
with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
[James 1:17]

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God is there for us because He loves us. He provides, guides and cares because He wants to, out of this crazy unfailing love for us. He is the one absolutely absolute (Hebrews 13:8). and for me, even when nothing makes sense in this world and my chaotic life is taking a toll on me, there's this unusual peace. that's what i was missing before, i was missing the understanding that trials were meant to refine you and blessings were meant to bring thanks back to God. before, i was blaming the world (and myself) for any event that i wasn't happy with and i inconsistently attributed the good things to many different things. but i am constantly reminded that it is God who has a purpose for everything. God's good promises through Jesus Christ. that was the missing piece in my unstable life before... that was the missing peace (Philippians 4:7) that i searched for in other things, but could never find until my faith was revamped and i was reunited on this walk with God.


a couple weeks ago, i heard the testimony of the son of a pastor and he said:

"if i have absolutely nothing else but Jesus,
i still have everything i need"

so true.