Quality

Dear Ms. Paula Abdul,
You are so wise. your long pauses, irrelevant comments, unnecessary bickering (with your secret lover simon cowell), awkward clapping, and confusing comments keep me entertained while watching American Idol. You are the reason why I watch this genius show, not for the top tier-ness of randy jackson or simon's hairy chest or the super awkward attempts of song&dance of the super awkward contestants...no no miss paula, it's you.



Dear Lil Mama,
For the same reasons as my homegirl Paula Abdul, I thoroughly enjoy hearing your words of wisdom. I know for a fact that you must really know about hip-hop and good choreography, just as you have a great knowledge about fashion [see picture to the right]. Me and my friends have also wondered if those snazzy hats that you wear are made with holes cut out to accommodate your ponytail...or if you're actually bald and the hats come with ponytails attached to it already. (Please let me know, we are quite curious). Also, J.C. Chasez? A hip-hop dance crew judge? That's an appropriate casting choice. And Shane Sparks, a renowned hip-hop choreographer?...now that's just silly to have someone who actually knows about hip-hop to be a judge. Oh Lil Mama, I'm so glad that you bring your maturity and crucial opinions to the show. Oh yeah, and I guess Kaba and Jabbawockies aren't too shabby. Don't even get me started on the unique talent of BreakSk8...





Dear "Moment of Truth" contestants,
With all the social pressures of marital bliss, I finally understand that participating in this show is a strategic way to secretly cause a divorce. Your willingness to admit to your sinful past for some moola is a tad pathetic. What did you expect by bringing your spouse/family members to a show that only cares about ratings and not about preserving your seemingly cookie-cutter relationship? Way to appear like a douche-box in front of millions of people. Good luck with being disowned and divorced but...enjoy your money.






Dear Project Runway fans,
I think you would all agree with the decision that Christian Siriano was named the winner of Project Runway Season 4. This young lady...i mean, young man at the young age of 21 pursued his dreams and displayed his creative brilliance on the show. His over-use of the word "fabulous" and interesting designs led him to victory against a boring or over-the-top or monotonous drapery. Apparently Christian entered the fashion industry at the age of 13 and continued to The American Intercontinental University in London, landing a sweet job with under a prestigious fashion designer there. High fives Christian, way to prove that age and experience don't mean anything against passion and creative genius.



Speaking of young talent...
David Archuleta,
Oh you, former Star Search contestant considered to be a singing robot programmed by an overload of talent, are now part of American Idol's top 12 at the baby age of 17! Barely past puberty with a hesitant giggle, adorable smile... and a striking resemblance to a younger Ben Stiller, there is no doubt this kid's got talent as well. I forgive you for the mishap on last night's episode babes. Nerves get the best of us sometimes. And like Miss Paula said before...it shows that you aren't some perfect guy...but because you are imperfect...that makes you perfect....something like that. It makes me happy to see our generation blowing up and showcasing their talent for once...instead of being on shows of how lavish our sweet sixteen partays can be. See, all you criticizing adults of America, our generation can do more than surfing the web and blowing off money.

And speaking of money....


Dear "Real Housewives of Orange County",
What a silly decision for you guys to be on this show. So you don't have to work while your hubby makes the money..so you go on luxurious weekend vacations and return to your fancy mansions in the gated communities of the OC... so you get Botox and boob jobs because of the social pressures of looking "good"... so you drive your snazzy cars and smother yourselves with all the "finest" things...and you wonder why your marriages fall apart, your kids are not disciplined, and you're unhappy. Now, that may seem like a harsh judgment on my part..maybe even a little heartless. But seriously, I'm sure it's not that great to live that sorta life...it's kind of a little sad. But hey, if you guys can get away with it...and earn a fatty paycheck for showing off how money is all you have to stand for...then good for you...very good for you.


Thank you television for showcasing the ups and downs of our society.
Thank you for re-establishing stereotypes
and sucking us into idleness & addictions to the media.
Thank you for always being my ultimate guilty pleasure.