BATTLE of the SEXIES

There is no doubt that my favorite aspect of living at 198 with these fine people is…the bondage. Now, now…relax…its not that type of bondage [most of the time]. I love the part of the day/night where we’re super delirious/bored and someone initiates some random deep conversation…about our days, science, religion, friends, the past, predictions about the future, sexiness, etc. After a supposedly productive day of fort-building [yes, we made a pretty sweet fort], intentions of studying, working out, frustration at MCIA practice and an unnecessary confrontation with a friend, I was more than relieved to return home to the 198 fam…and the bondage that keeps me mentally-stimulated night after night.

Well, last night, the sensitive subject of relationships and the opposing perspectives of ladies and gentlemen were introduced. Yes, there may have been some alcohol somewhere in the mix that could have provoked the emotional expressions and shameless judgments, but I think that was only a secondary factor to the true contrasting feelings of boys and girls. During the intensity of the conversation-turned-debate, I busted out my notebook to take notes, in attempts to record the passionate opinions of my roomies so I could share them with you lovely people. However, when I returned to my notebook today, hoping to recount the issues of last night’s discussion, I discovered a bunch of random quotes, strange word scrambles, and bullet notes of I don’t know what. So here is my utmost attempt at sharing the wise words and heated comments of these sexy people.

boys

vs.

WOMEN

[NOTE: considering the randomness of last night’s debate, do not expect any cohesion coming up. Also, this is obviously NOT WORD-FOR-WORD…just a summary of what I remember and snipits of my own commentary…be prepared for a lengthy entry]

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1) TOPIC: CREEPY VS. PLAYFUL

GIRL: There’s a difference between a guy who flirts and it’s playful vs. an aggressive guy that just comes off as creepy. For example, when a girl goes out, there is no doubt, she appreciates the attention from guys…but not that excessive =lame game= where she has to make an excuse to leave the awkward situation. Sometimes it’s strangely fun for a guy to be playful and somewhat hard-to-get. If a girl reciprocates that playful flirtation, then it is safe to take that as a signal that okay, maybe you can approach. But if you do have the balls to come up to a girl, there’s no need to be all “hey baby, damn you’re looking fine” because trust me, the girls worth getting to know/ the girls that aren’t there for a one-nighter will be instantly turned off. As the girl says, “just be yourself”. We’re pretty good at recognizing a natural guy who’s comfortable with himself vs. a guy who’s a little too into himself and swears like his rehearsed game is gonna get him some[where].

BOY: See, but there’s a thin line…not even thin…a dotted line between what a girl thinks is creepy vs. a guy who doesn’t have “lame game”. A genuinely nice guy could just be trying to spit game and a girl will take that as being a creeper. With one wrong move, a girl can immediately consider you to be creepy, then you instantly fall through that perforated line from subtle flirt to creeper. I think the intention of this particular comment refers to a girl’s high expectations of how a guy should interact with her. Yeah, we may have standards but they're realistic...and boys, you need to overcome that misconception that a girl wants to be showered her with cliché compliments or over-used pick-up lines.

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2) TOPIC: GIRLS WORTH FIGHTING FOR

GIRL: Yeah, there’s girls out there that are all about fun and hooking up. And yes, those are the girls who might graciously accept the lame game…and then some. But those are NOT the “girls worth fighting for”. They’re not worth your precious time or getting to know beyond that initial encounter.

BOY: Girl worth fighting for? You know who says things like that…you and your roommate who are already taken! How is a guy supposed to know if they’re worth it? So many times these nice guys go for the wrong girl because all the good girls are already with someone.

GIRL: Don’t worry, when you find her…t’ll be worth it…it’ll pay off later.

BOY: NO, IT WON’T! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR!

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3) TOPIC: THE PHYSICAL ATTRACTION

GIRL: It’s not all about the physical appearance…I mean, of course it helps. Believe it or not, even if a guy’s not the hottest pick in the place, there are girls who actually don’t care and would actually enjoy a good conversation over various physical attributes. This concept is inevitably arguable because of course…there’s those superficial ladies who overlook personality for a good-lookin’ piece of meat. In that case, refer to TOPIC 2.

BOY: Yeah but sometimes girls say…F--k the physical sh--, then sometimes they see Brad Pitt in Snatch take his shirt off and be like shiiiiiit. So it’s his sense of humor? NO! It doesn’t matter if it’s a guy or girl…it’s the physical attraction. As mentioned earlier, instant physical attraction is a plus for both ladies and gents, but sometimes the unlikely/quirky traits of that other person can potentially grow on you, making that person increasingly attractive…and that’s the beauty of looking beyond the surface.

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4) TOPIC: GUYS VS. GIRLS’ DATING MENTALITY

GIRL: Relationships are overrated.

BOY: Because the girls in relationships say they’re overrated.

GIRL: We’re at that tricky age where it can be a struggle when it comes to dating. Do I want to be young, single and free to date around, experimenting and exploring my options? Or because I’m moving towards =that age=, should I search for a serious relationship? I think the pressure of an idealistic future and the realities of being young and invincible create some conflicting force that make girls all twisted when it comes to relationships. So what about guys?

BOY: So what do they want? Do we look for that wifey or the fun material? With girls, you just have to guess because you won’t be able to distinguish that right away. You’re gonna need to plan accordingly.

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5) TOPIC: THE FRIEND ZONE

BOY: You know what I hate…being put in the “friends zone”. Like…if I’m a nice guy, it’s always like, “awwww…you’re such a---good friend”. Then…I get put in the friend zone.

GIRL: How do you know that some guys don’t prefer being there? Friend zone means no commitment, no drama, etc. etc…then you conform to that “all I wanna do is get some” stereotype. Okay, so maybe if you happen to unwillingly become that friend-wanting-to-be-more-than-just-friends guy. If you’re really into one of your homegirls [granted that she’s not involved with someone already] then just take that risk of letting her know. Guys always complain about the challenges of [mis]understanding what a girl wants, as if girls don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves. Well, suck it up boys. Guys are just as difficult to understand and if you’re super into some chick, then take that first step. If it doesn’t work out, then it doesn’t work out…you’ll still be friends and if your friendship is legit, then the awkwardness of the big news will eventually disappear. And if it does work out, then woooooot…high five buddy.

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6) TOPIC: NICE GUYS FINISH LAST?

BOY: Why do all these good girls end up with all the a-holes?

GIRL: Because girls have that mentality of wanting to fix things with the optimism of “i shouldn’t worry, this drama is temporary…things will change”…which is dangerous for everyone. Boys tend to always play the victim, which is not always the case. It’s just as frustrating for a good girl to see a good guy who’s with a drama-loving/shady girl because maybe she has the nicest curves as it is for say, a good guy to see a good girl oblivious to her bf that obviously doesn’t treat her right.

I’m not defending the ignorance of most girls, but a relationship rarely begins on a sour note. The gradual progression towards the downfall of fighting and bs drags girls into this mindset that everything will be okay…eventually. I’ve experienced this, I’ve seen this happen to too many friends and this is undoubtedly unfortunate for everyone involved. Luckily, im nowhere near that situation in my current relationship =] And yes, too many girls end up in the completely wrong relationship. And yes, too many girls do end up with the badass a-hole. And yes, too many genuinely amazing guys are overlooked. And sorry but I have no idea how to resolve this continuous pattern.

BOY: TEACH ME HOW TO BE A DICK! Let’s plot out how we’re gonna be a dick so girls will like us. MAKE ME A DICK!

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7) TOPIC: THE ULTIMATE TURN-OFF…?

BOY: You know what the #1 biggest turn off is…when a girl says she has a boyfriend.

GIRL: Well…DUHHHHHHH.

BOY: Then what she doing at a bar or club?! How’s a guy supposed to know if she’s taken or not?!

GIRL: What?! Just because I have a boyfriend, I can’t go out? We like to get all dressed up and go out without the bf sometimes. Yeah, we may like the attention from the guys but our intentions of going out is NOT to go home with someone. It’s interesting how people have this misconception that because a girl is in a relationship, she is completely restricted from doing things on her own. I know, I know…there are definitely possessive relationships like this, but for the healthy relationships, understand that it is okay for a lady to be a lady and innocently have a good night out. That does not make her unfaithful or promiscuous…it allows her to maintain her own youthful life. And p.s.…for all you boys who do understand this concept, on behalf of all the girls of the world…THANK YOU. Your willingness to not grasp on too tight is very much appreciated.

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8) TOPIC: CONCLUSION

BOY: You know what? I got that…the preconception…and what was that preconception?...I don’t know sh---.

And with that said, we were all mentally drained and all argued out, not knowing more than we did prior to the debate. Boys are complicated, girls are complicated, relationships are complicated [but definitely possible]. Agree to disagree. Good night.