thanksgiving.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
[Isaiah 55:8-9]

i have been thinking a lot lately. and i mean a lot. i believe that my heart belongs to God, but apparently my mind is fused with my flesh as i often strive to satisfy selfish ambitions and entertain prideful thoughts. there are so many times where i try to do so much that i realize that i don't know what i'm doing anymore. at this almost-post-college-but-not-quite phase of life, there are plenty of questions being raised and the answers are obviously unknown. i've been neglecting the present and scurrying to plan the future. it's been a recurring flaw of mine to crave that ultimate control. as soon as i think i got it all taken care of, i'm thrown off with a new challenge. every day i need to remember that i do not need to know all the answers because that would take out the mystery & adventure of life. and trying to control everything would be like trying to steal the responsibility of a sovereign God who carefully & lovingly works to direct my life. im so thankful for a God who is extremely patient, especially because i know i am not. i can't explain everything that happens in life, but i can guarantee that our faithful God knows all the answers and plans out every interaction we make and every breath we take. God knows our hearts and recognizes our flaws and still loves us. He loved us so much before we even existed. He loves us even though we tend to slip, fall, stumble and make those mistakes. He loves us so much that He gave up His own Son. and He promises us that He will not leave us or forsake us even in the seemingly loneliest times of our lives. God loves us even when we are so blinded by doubt and worry that we forget to appreciate the very life He has blessed us with to enjoy. just think about that... God loves you. oh man, that truth blows my mind every time.

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Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
[Psalm 139:23-24]

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Lord, i pray that You would break me to see more of you. i pray that i would seek to delight in Your beautiful creation and the blessings of the people around me. teach me to love others unconditionally. Lord, only by Your grace can my eyes be opened and heart humbled to completely delight in You and to not be distracted by silly worldly things. forgive me for allowing thoughts to hinder my confidence in You even when i know and believe that You work all things together for good. i pray that i would remember that these trials are set in place to refine us. our feelings are so deceptive and we seek to handle hardships on our own, but i pray that i would remember that when we are weak, You are strong. You are my rock, my refuge, my strength. You are so wonderful and i can't ever thank You enough for everything.