yes, it could be.

in addition to my typical long days of jam-packed activities, longer nights of dancing dancing, long work shifts, midterms, papers, and the usual personal business... i recently rolled my left ankle while doing my usual 5 miles on the treadmill. i thought it'd go away overnight. but nope, it's been a couple days and piercing pain every time i walk or even attempt to dance. wonderful... just in time for an upcoming church talent show and our final mcia performances of the year. bummer.

then this morning, as i limped to campus, i passed by a guy with a wrapped leg, another guy on crutches and another guy with a prosthetic leg. seriously all within 10 minutes. and there i was complaining about a minor rolled ankle? God really does have a way of opening my eyes...

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Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet various kinds of trials,
for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.
And let steadfastness have its full effect,
that you may be complete & perfect, lacking in nothing.
[James 1:2-4]
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lately, "it could be worse" has become a common saying during conversations with friendsies and even a constant reminder to myself. we complain about the classes we take and the amount of school work we have, but we're blessed enough to even be at this top-notch university. we complain about boredom at work, but we're blessed to even have a job in "this economy". we complain about gas prices, but we're blessed with our own cars. we complain about nothing (good) to eat, but we're blessed with even having things to choose from in our fridge. we spend so much time complaining that we don't have enough time to acknowledge what we actually do have.

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Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation,
among whom you shine as lights in the world
[Philippians 4:14-15]

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God places every trial in your life to grow you, to produce patience and steadfastness, to prepare you for the greater challenges ahead... but also for the even more glorious rewards that are to come. it's always easy to be grateful when life's full of rainbows and butterflies, but the true testing of your faith comes when you're at your lowest point. maybe that's the exact point where you need something (or someone) more than what's providing that temporary comfort. as difficult as it is, we're called to consider even the toughest of times to be a blessing. imagine that, while we're kicked down to the ground, we're expected to be thankful? exactly. we are expected to be thankful because of our faith in God, because of the hope in Christ that our faith entails.

count it all joy, kids.
count it all joy.

hey, at least now i got a little gangster walk :)

only You

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,
will guard your hearts and mind in Christ Jesus.
[Philippians 4:7]

Yes, please guard my fragile heart and ease my mind, protect it from the overload of pessimism and what if's...because all i really know is that i really don't know anything. i thank You for those friends you've placed in my life that re-focus me, who actually take time to listen and, most importantly, encourage me to grow closer to You. i do thank You for my family as i continue to pray for them. i pray for wisdom and courage to be a light to them. i thank You for giving us hope through your Son, a hope that we absolutely do not deserve. please teach me how to also sacrifice, how to be patient during trials, show me how to fully forgive, teach me how to love like You. remind me that only You can change hearts and only You direct our lives. and only YOU can provide ultimate comfort and ultimate peace.

i know i cannot do anything without You.

quite the happy hour

the ladies and gents of 198

snazzy up in celebration of OC happy hour week

at Orange County Mining Co.for some d-lish half-off appetizers
on our very own private balconyjust in time for a lovely sunset.

cheers.

04.14.09

last night reminded me that i am human, driven by emotions. trying to be the constant anchor in an increasingly rocky situation seemed like an impossible option at this point. isn't this supposed to get easier? what just happened? what's going to happen? did i fail them?

after several hours of an emotional purge, my focus shifted. this was not my fault, there's got to be a purpose and now i just need to wait patiently to see the good that God creates out of all this. i flipped through Psalms, Romans, Corinthians, etc. then i made some phone calls--- praise God the bfriend picked up and rushed over. i prayed... i just prayed.

it's almost been a year and i can't imagine where my life would be had i not recognized that God (re)opened His arms to me, calling me to return to His steadfast love and never-ending grace. if i hadn't (re)opened my heart, the old me would simply resort to isolation, anger, blaming, complaining... instead of trusting and praying as we are called to do (Philippians 4:6). the old me would dwell on the negative aspects of the situation at hand instead of having faith that the outcome is in His will (Hebrews 11:1). the old me would turn to unreliable outlets instead of the one guaranteed source of comfort and strength (Psalm 46:1). i don't know it all, but i know i am glad that im far from that old me (Ephesians 4:22-24). and now i know and trust that with God, all things are possible (Luke 1:37), including overcoming these heartbreaking trials that---at the moment--- seem absolutely unbearable.

last night, i was reminded that
i could not---and cannot---do this on my own. i need Him.

i am just one person... one very undeserving person that cannot change the hearts of others despite my greatest efforts and prideful mentality. i can plant those seeds and pray my heart out, but it really is up to Him to work in their hearts. the easy way out would be to remain in sulk-mode, but because of the hope i have in the Lord, completely dwelling on these hardships would just be silly (Psalm 30:5).

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
[Romans 5:1-5]

before julian dropped everything to come to the irvs, i was blessed with an unexpected phone conversation with his mom. she reminded me to trust in the Lord's plan for our lives and that because of Him, everything works together for good (Romans 8:28). she listened, she offered advice, we exchanged verses and i even disclosed some snipits of my testimony. she reminded me to be a light for my family during these times where God may not be their focus. i told her how lost i would be without my faith and how grateful i am for julian's constant support. i can see how God's growing us individually and working in our relationship. his mom agreed that it is a blessing to have godly friends during these tough times. i completely agreed. i really do praise God for precisely placing such faithful people in my life.

i've also been praying for more Christ-centered opportunities and i've been receiving just that. from my recent interactions, i've realized that im not alone in this, that there are others who struggle with the exact same things---some even at the exact same time. i pray that God gives me the wisdom and understanding with my own experience to help comfort others and point them to the comfort that God provides for me....

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our affliction,
so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction,
with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
[2 Corinthians 1:3-4]

pastels, bunnies, egghunts?

i didn't realize that the following post didn't actually get posted.
welp, better late than never....

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For the death he died he died to sin, once and for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus
[Romans 6:10-11]

society has somewhat skewed the image of Easter, overloading it with pastel colors, baby animals and baskets of candy-filled eggs. while all those things are lovely, fun and super cute, that's not quite what our focus should be on. during this season, we should remember the death, burial and ultimately, the resurrection of Christ. we remember that he died for our sins, for the sins of undeserving sinful people. now that's forgiveness.

but that is not to say that we should only wait around for this time of year to roll around to remember this extraordinary event. im so thankful that God sent His son, Jesus Christ, for our sake. had all this not happened, i'd be living a life without purpose. i'd be so lost without the perfect example of Christ. i pray that i will be constantly mindful of the sacrifice at the cross and the endless rewards of living a life for God. happy resurrection sunday friendsies.

the fiesta continues.

the crazy kids of cuesta got all snazzied up for a reunion with our beloved RA Paaaaam!! i can't believe it's been 3 full years since we eagerly embarked on our UCI adventure. to celebrate, we hit up stonefire grill, aka "upscale pat&oscars", for a deliciously inexpensive cuesta family dinner.

(she's still a fave among the cuesta boys)

we all get to hang out together every now and then, but our guest of honor, PAM, added that extra kick to the mix. during our first year, we saw how much effort she put into those random programs that often go unappreciated by first-years. she really did watch over us and gave us advice when we needed it, really displaying how much she cared. yet, her sweet modesty prevents her from seeing what an inspiration she was for us. i know we're all thankful for her dedication to our hall of very grateful trouble-makers. i can't believe im gonna have my very own residents next year... i can only hope my residents are just as cool as this bunch.

im sure to be tight with people you lived in the dorms with is rare. to all be sitting together, discussing our post-college plans was rather strange because post-college life has snuck up on us. i swear we were seriously just running around the dorms, creating a ruckus, making pam's job altogether challenging and exciting. time sure does fly...

i asked pam if she thought it was weird to be with all of us again. she explained how we were still exactly the same as we were first year. (i wasn't sure if i should take that as a compliment or not). she continued to say that she was just really happy that we were all friends still...

im pretty happy about that too. :)