every day

transformation process.

the usual late-night bondage

in addition to deep, intellectual conversations/debates..here's another common event:




dancer: brent "buddha" lee
singers: lance "do you think i drink too much?" cacho
& roger "yelling IS my indoor voice" kwan
audience: cappletini and melibu

expanding the "inspiration loop"

It’s inevitable that once we hit college, when you’re supposedly “finding yourself”, it’s very common to lose sight of priorities. We bury ourselves with an excess of any and everything, some significant things, things just to fill the void, things that lead to other things, things that impact your entire life. And as an optimism addict, I can’t help but hope that these 4/5 years create one ginormous learning experience where people’s current college life will direct them to a more substantial future. Finding yourself…or just better-ing yourself…reaffirming who you are.

Upon trying to post another blog, I had a major writer’s block. I started writing about different things like the past weekend, the whole idea of “everything happens for a reason”, reciprocity, friendships, change & conflict. But as I was having a random AIM conversation with my fellow positivity advocate, marleezie, he suggested to write about =what’s important in life=, which ain’t such a shabby idea. Here’s my spin…

1- FAMILY. Everyone’s heard it or even claimed “family first”. In the chaos of college, many times family slips from being top priority. But, the beauty of family is that it’s this consistent unit that will have your back no matter how long it's been or how much you screw up. And I’m aware that everyone does not have some kind of perfect 1950’s TV family, but I hope that everyone has some sense of “family” somewhere, whether it’s a group of guys hanging out in a condo, a dance team, a group of childhood girlfriends. Family should not be taken for granted because they’ve taught you more than you’d think.

2- FRIENDS. This one’s pretty self-explanatory. I think a huge factor to happiness is to surround yourself with good people. You’ll feed off each other in [hopefully] good ways. It’s always best to have some kind of outlet…to tell your secrets to, crack jokes with, make those crazy memories with, talk about the intellectual aspects of life. I’ve learned a lot about friendships throughout the years. There’s always different intentions, frustrations, and rewards that come with friendships. Some friends may drift apart [I’ve learned that apparently sometimes intentionally], but oh man, the people that stick around despite the distance or drama, those are the keepers.

3- FAITH. At a time where people need something consistent, something of substance during the emotional rollercoaster of college, I think this area gets pretty neglected. Having faith does not necessarily mean sitting in the front row every Sunday at church, but just the understanding that life is so much brighter with the outlet of prayer and the recognition of blessings. Word.

4- PURPOSE. While college is typically a time of freedom [sorry to be a downer], it ain’t gonna last forever, so that’s where purpose comes in. It’s always best to center your life on some kind of ambition. Without passion for something, it’s obviously pretty tough to have any drive to reach any goals. And while we’re still young and trying to discover exactly what kind of purpose we have in this crazy world, it’s probably a good idea to start searching. During this process of establishing your own identity, a massive step is establishing what you’re gonna do with all that talent, passion and curiosity.

5- FUN. “you don’t stop playing because you get older, you get older because you stop playing”. I forgot where I saw this quote, but I really like it because it’s sooooo true. I think most people right now loathe this whole “growing up” idea because these college years really are the best years of your life [if you make ‘em that way]. It’s when you’re old enough to do pretty much whatever you want, but not required to be at the point where decisions [like getting that 9-5 job, buying a house, being financially stable, having a family] take over your life. At this stage in life, yeah you should feel alive, yeah you should feel invincible, but that’s not to say that 10 or 20 years from now, you should feel numb and bland. Yeah, stress can happen but it‘s only temporary. RIGHT NOW, those spontaneous hangouts, opportunity to be wild and carefree, to have random conversations until sunrise, chances to have this certain type of fun should hold a considerable amount of value RIGHT NOW. You’re young, so be young. Have fun yo.

And with all this, just do it with love man. It's all about compassion and passion. Get out there kid, there's so much going on in this freaking world, go be a part of it.

quite eventful

Aced a midterm.
Taught a kid how to do ratios and fractions.
Got paid.
Volunteered in santa ana.
Played hopscotch, tag and made sandcastles with the kids.
Witnessed an overload of talent during our mcia showcase.
Played a giant game of Suzy Walker on top of a parking structure.
Jumped in a random pool with 4 other spop staffers…fully-clothed.
Danced with an Irvine cop.
Played an interestingly fun [& disturbing] game of spoons with 198.
Crossed the street at 3 am with our eyes closed.
Went to an overdue mcia game night…won at squabble and cranium.
Had a sleepover with my sisters in ate mae’s new apartment.
Went wedding dress/bridesmaid dress shopping with sisters.
Ate the best sushi ever at the best sushi place ever.
Had more late-night bondage with the roomies.
Took lots of random pics.
Reached 32 months.
Learned a gangster piece for spop modern.
Danced among a group of passionate people.
Worked out.
Played some rock band.
Got a special visit from Justin, Michael and Jos.
Experienced extreme SPohana love.
Tried to fight off this cold.
Congratulated my mom for Kobe’s MVP award.
Jammed to my Wicked soundtrack.
Shed some orange peels.
Played another intense game of ninjas.
Met new awesome people.
Reunited with my bogina sponsor...yogurtland + crazy pics.
Sang my favorite hymns.
Attended Bible study at jurian’s church.
Learned so much.
Reaffirmed how blessed God has made my life.

whatever you did at anytime..
be thankful.

random

i ain't no "club rat"

I had two opportunities to go to clubs this past weekend. On Thursday, 198 and co went to Level 3 in Hollywood for annie’s 21st bday. After a frustrating drive from an intense movie name game while getting lost for about an hour, we finally got there only to end up in a long line. In a nutshell, the night consisted of: super-AZN people, an interesting lingerie fashion show with super-AZN models [who could not dance…let alone model], the amateur dj playing kelly Clarkson, annie getting low, boys’ dance battles, etc. Despite all that, we had fun, finally getting dressed up and taking a break from midterms and the usual setting [ie: the 198 living room or some kind of happy hour].

Then on Saturday, we headed to Belo in downtown sd for Jackie’s sister’s bday [which seemed more like Jackie’s 21st bday part two]. Some of the lowlights: getting questioned about my ID because it apparently doesn’t look like me (?), really gross musty room [reminiscent (but even worse than) when the guys come to visit in Irvine], getting water spilled on me..twice, the dj didn’t play usher after hours of anticipating it, seeing everything that Jackie ate/drank in the toilet, having to leave freaking early, and as always…creepers just staring at us dance/lame game in full effect. Some highlights included: pre-downtown Rodrigos trip (Mexican food withdrawal satisfied), finding close free parking, me & Jackie being “with the DJ”, Jackie getting down with everyone and her random drunken talk, and as always…all the pics like the ones below. After finally going home sweet home after many weeks trapped in irvine, it felt really nice to be with the usual sd ladies, all did-up and out on the town. I love knowing that, regardless of my absence, I can come home and these girls will make me feel like I’ve never left.

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Me: I think it’s so much easier for guys to go clubbing.

Cacho: I think guys just know how to make the best out of a situation.

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I personally think there’s so much that goes into going clubbing for girls. Actually, I think there’s too much social pressure that goes into clubbing on both sides. This next part might sound ultra-girly and pathetic, but OH WELL. So, besides the whole dilemma of “omg, what am I gonna wear?”, from start to finish of the night, I feel like it’s a constant battle for the ladies. Fighting off creepers, trying to dance with your girls without drawing in more creepers, balancing getting free drinks with not getting super-drunk, and my personal favorite…female haters. Guys can do whatever, dance however, and wear the same button-up shirt every time. I’m thinking that the biggest setback that they can get is a girl rejecting to dance with them [big woop]. Actually, then there’s the whole belligerent drunk guy getting into some kind of confrontation with another belligerent drunk guy, which is just lame. FYI boys, being a belligerent douche-box or aggressive on the dance floor doesn’t impress anybody…it gets you pushed away or kicked out of the club.
Nonetheless, I’m sure the clubbing experiences will always have their ups and downs. I think I’m gonna try to take the guy approach more and not be so worried of how other people are judging me. Although I’m over this whole being 21 thing, I still love the getting ready and dancing dancing so more places to explore. Vegas this summer?! Yeeeyuh.

Okay, so i lost my focus while writing this. The boys are currently celebrating cinco de mayo so i'm...a little distracted. They just turned the tv off and i think this is where the bondage kicks in. Yup, i was right. Here it goes...

just because

One of my friends explained to me how they enjoyed reading my blog because “there’s so much hate”. Blah, that’s the complete opposite of what I was going for. So I suppose I’ll switch it up and direct it to the philosophical aspect that I love to pour out the most. I actually wrote this post about 3 weeks ago, but debated if it was worthy of posting. I tried to find interesting media drama, interesting events or funny conversations..but no matter what i started typing about..it always came back to me wanting to write about one thing. [I know, not at all exciting, so I guess there’s so warning]

So…I’ve created a personal record of not going back to san diego for about 5 weeks, partly because of other obligations up in Irvine…and also partly by choice. With the start of the new SPOP season, the ending of the 07-08 mcia team, volunteering at an after school program, working and pushing to work out often… it’s been somewhat chaotic, but the good kind of chaos that I seem to thrive off of. I feel refreshed and focused. I feel productive and spending my time in a positive way. And positivity is definitely my new focus. The question of “what’s my purpose in life” is constantly in the back of my mind, behind all the busy schedules. Like why am I drowning in my calendar? Why have I stopped drinking? What should I be doing with the time I have at UCI? What the heck am I gonna do after I graduate? Am I getting involved in the right things? How do I know what's right?

Love for the people around you, love for what you do, love of God’s blessings on your life. People need to find that passion that drives them to greatness, away from the excessive or unnecessary things that just make life bland. I think that the happiest people find the beauty in life despite the hardships and challenges and acknowledge the positives. They create one ultimate good even when a thousand bads are weighing them down. I know, I know, super-cliche, super-sappy statements, but really.

And while I don’t intend to preach about my renewed faith, I think what it all comes down to…regardless of religion, background, ambitions, etc…is really about the people in your life. I just finished reading a book for my ethics class [“Season of Life”, go read it!]. It’s all about being “others-centered”, putting yourself behind your loved ones, not with intentional goals to impact their life, but just the small things you may do that really hits 'em. The way my own college life has been…let’s just say I have the next 3 weeks planned out by the hour [I know, pathetic]. I’m pushing to complete and accomplish all these things. I’ve been overwhelmed by the lack of spontaneity and time for me…but then, I have to return to the fact that it’s not about me. SPOP is for these anxious incoming freshmen and my fellow staffers…volunteering in Santa Ana is for those kids who need role models…working is for this awesome kid to succeed in school…going to practices is to hopefully contribute to the MCIA family…skipping out on sleep late at nights is for the beloved bondage with the roomies. I don’t mean to make this sound self-glorifying [which is actually the reason why I was debating to post this], but just an update on where my life stands. I know it’s not as exciting as the media topics that I often love to throw out, but whatevs.


“when you have a cause, it should never be about trying to measure the so-called impact of what you are doing…Because once you start doing that, then you’re right back to the whole thing being about you, focusing on what you are accomplishing, and it’s not about you. It’s about connecting to other, being others-centered”


“And the way we measure greatness is the impact you make on other people’s lives"

and just to lighten the mood....