the blah blah blah

Sooo…my previous nutang blog apparently got hacked into, so all my old posts are long gone, which could in fact be a good thing. It was starting to become like looking thru old high school pictures anyway, old blogs that provoked both sweet and sour emotions. So I turned to this blogspot action since this seems to be where a wanderer and cool kids hang out to have not so small talk [haha, I know I know, im so clever]. All right. So since I returned from Italy, ive been an absolute mess of emotions, thoughts, feelings, which clearly explains the rambling and word salad that unite to create this very first post. I apologize in advance if you’re more confused than informed after struggling to read this. Frustration, disappointment, sadness, confusion, momentary happiness and feelings of being incomplete were overwhelming. In my first month back, there’s definitely been an array of good times with family and friends…but I undoubtedly miss everything about being abroad. Life was so simple there, a completely accurate portrayal of “la dolce vita”. And though tension arose towards the end of November where “friendships” fell through and disappointment and hurt rolled in…it did not hinder the two strong friendships that were able to withstand the unnecessary chaos at the end of our trip. caitlin & courtney, you have my heart.

I just realized that this first blog was intended to be a prelude to the upcoming 2007 reflection…but instead it flipped into a vent-fest about my experience abroad. OH WELL. I’m gonna continue my vent-fest…feel free to skip this and scroll down at your discretion.

So ive “moved back” to san diego…which to me means still not unpacked from italy and living out of my giant luggage for another month. Last week I finally visited Irvine, conveniently during their finals week. Junk food, books and unimportant sheets of notes, and various rock band instruments were scattered throughout the war zone of our living room…and I loved it. It felt good to be home at 198.

My weekend stay turned into a whole week of friends visits, rock band, board games, more junk food and HD TV-watching…and again, I loved it. That one week was a nice little vacation from the redundancy of san diego, my “home”town. I think I set excessively-high expectations about my return home from my life-changing experience and san diego didn’t even show up on the scales. I think my mentality was that if I had this new outlook on life with this wonderful positive change in me, then surely everyone around me would recognize the change, contribute to further change and perhaps be inspired by the change…and then maybe undergo some kind of change themselves.

But not so much. Same people, same fights at home, same parties, same drinks and games. As negative and anti-san diego as this sounds, that’s not at all what it is. I completely and absolutely love my home friends [I would do anything for you guys, I hope you know that]…but I don’t quite think =disappointment= is the most accurate word to describe the feeling…but it was something. I needed some adventure, spontaneity and easygoing fun. Therefore, im very thankful for 198&co, MCIA and all the other friends that made me feel home again. I really enjoyed the random outings, sushi, yogurt, board games, etc. So yes, to summarize that blah blah blah of a paragraph= Irvine really is for lovers.

And now for your enjoyment or a brief break from myspace/facebook/online shopping/refreshing email…the original purpose for creating this blog,…

Soooo…the end of the year is typically/obviously a time of reflection. I think by the time December rolls around, the phrase “this year went by sooooo fast” comes into play. I tend to fall into the contemplative state and begin to question: have I changed? Did I learn anything? Am I where I want to be? And while several of the lessons I have personally learned are not exactly genius or brilliant concepts, I feel really blessed that I was able to go thru certain situations/reality checks that resulted in an enhanced perspective of life. Some people could claim that in a year, their whole life has changed and with studying abroad, it’s very likely that I could be one of those people…but I know that I have pleeeeenty more growing and learning to endure.

Snipits of what 2007 has taught me…

- time apart really determines the strength of friendships

- people can go through a drastic change overnight

- constantly-drunk American study abroad students give us a bad name

- traveling opened my eyes & mind to soooooo much

- recognition isn’t everything

- dancing is inspiring

- I will not be as skinny as I was in middle or high school

- Regardless of how little we see each other, my old friends are still down

- Being comfortable does not have to entail being boring

- i don’t have to be overload yourself with a long list of friends. as long as I am aware of the certain people that will be there for me…no matter what

- Enthusiasm and gratitude from students makes teaching worthwhile

- It doesn’t take a lot to make me happy

- I need to work on my confidence

- Italy has it all…culture, art, pride, hospitality, moderate climate, fooood & overall beauty

- People don’t always go abroad to “find themselves”. Some go for further development while some go for all the wrong reasons.

- Video games are not restricted to children

- I have a great respect for artists and musicians

- Reciprocity is rare

- Turning 21 doesn’t necessarily mean people get more mature

- Some people focus too much on materialistic things

- alcohol creates, hides and intensifies drama

- people can surprise you…it’s up to you to initiate the discovery

- reaching out to people should not be scary…regret often results from not reaching out to people

- everything happens for a reason…and that reason is because God made it that way

- less sleeping, more living

- I prefer being in Irvine…san diego is getting too small

- stress is only temporary

- being away from the people I love creates a stronger appreciation/understanding of “home”

- you’d be surprised how wonderful something as small as an IM or facebook message is

- it’s okay to be by yourself sometimes

- it’s always okay to be yourself

- being 20 is freaking awesome

- visiting museums and appreciating art is a better use of time than the idleness of web-surfing

- you don’t need to please everyone

- once giving becomes obligations, there’s a problem

- there’s no need to worry…God will work it out

- surprises are underrated

- friends come and go…im personally thankful for the ones that stayed

- using big words & understanding what they mean is nice

- attractiveness includes more than just a nice face and a nice body

- staying up til the sun comes up with board games and good conversation is a worthy sacrifice of sleep

- returning home from 4 months in another country definitely creates reverse culture shock

- my morals, values and faith have somewhat been neglected & should be re-analyzed

- you don’t need another person to confirm what you believe in

- finding similarities with another person [even if that does mean finding the same thing funny] is a valuable discovery

- sometimes it’s better to keep your feelings to yourself

- it’s hard to be consistent when different people expect different things from you

im all blogged out, even though i have oober more to blabber about. i guess you shall have to wait to read about it. until then, enjoy the holidays & welcome 2oO8! buon natale e capodanno!! ciao ciao!

and just for kicks...introducing the 198 band.

[tour dates coming soon]