QT.

On Sunday, Pastor Ed's message discussed faith as he used the story of young Joshua's unbelievable battle against Jericho. I think if I were in Joshua's place, I would be terrified with the incredibly huge task set before me. But why should I be so terrified?

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.
Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged,
for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
[Joshua 1:9]

do we place limits on how much we trust God? do we break down our ability to see God's consistent character as we focus on current circumstances? do we underestimate God by filling our minds with 'what if's? does our doubt blind us from knowing that God is working all things together for good? does our impatience hinder us from remembering that God's timing may be different than ours? do our feelings overpower the hope we have in God? how great would our lives be if we were more aware of God's presence and His promises?

God was undoubtedly with Joshua and his army, leading them to victory. the message in this event is altogether convicting. the battle cannot be won by our own strength. these struggles were not meant to be faced alone. when we start to think that the enemy is too strong or the task is too big, we are deflating the potential of our faith. we need to recognize that God is greater than anything and can do exceedingly beyond what we could ever comprehend.

For the foolishness of God is wiser than men,
and the weakness of God is stronger than men.
[1 Corinthians 1:25]

dear almighty God,
please grow me to have a steadfast & unmovable faith,
equipped with the complete trust
in your promises and in your presence.

thank you for displaying that ultimate trust
in the example of your Son, Jesus Christ.
we praise you, we love you, we thank you. amen.

cotton candy clouds.

God, i am constantly in awe of your creation.
you know the stars by name, you hold the universe in your hands,
you made every petal on every flower, you paint the skies with colors
and you still care about each one of us.
thank you, Lord.

one year.

it has been a whole year since this.







this past year has been quite an adventure indeed. God has blessed me beyond measure. He's been so good in surrounding me with great people who love in ways that both encourage and sometimes frustrate me, but help me grow in my walk nonetheless. He's also brought some heavy stuff in my life, which has prompted me to trust in Him more. only by His grace have i learned so much as i re-dedicated my life to following Christ and discovered the blessings of placing Him at the forefront of my life. i pray that in this upcoming year, God grants my desires to serve and love Him more and more!


[and who woulda thunk that the third girl sitting behind me would become one of my bestest friends?!... even though it looks like she's hating on me in the pic. awwww amyyyyy!! congrats on one year since we proclaimed our faith in the waters of baptism. cheers to more years of friendship, encouragement, venting, woman-of-God devotionals, slumber parties and more awkward moments! love you sister!! ]

thanksgiving.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
[Isaiah 55:8-9]

i have been thinking a lot lately. and i mean a lot. i believe that my heart belongs to God, but apparently my mind is fused with my flesh as i often strive to satisfy selfish ambitions and entertain prideful thoughts. there are so many times where i try to do so much that i realize that i don't know what i'm doing anymore. at this almost-post-college-but-not-quite phase of life, there are plenty of questions being raised and the answers are obviously unknown. i've been neglecting the present and scurrying to plan the future. it's been a recurring flaw of mine to crave that ultimate control. as soon as i think i got it all taken care of, i'm thrown off with a new challenge. every day i need to remember that i do not need to know all the answers because that would take out the mystery & adventure of life. and trying to control everything would be like trying to steal the responsibility of a sovereign God who carefully & lovingly works to direct my life. im so thankful for a God who is extremely patient, especially because i know i am not. i can't explain everything that happens in life, but i can guarantee that our faithful God knows all the answers and plans out every interaction we make and every breath we take. God knows our hearts and recognizes our flaws and still loves us. He loved us so much before we even existed. He loves us even though we tend to slip, fall, stumble and make those mistakes. He loves us so much that He gave up His own Son. and He promises us that He will not leave us or forsake us even in the seemingly loneliest times of our lives. God loves us even when we are so blinded by doubt and worry that we forget to appreciate the very life He has blessed us with to enjoy. just think about that... God loves you. oh man, that truth blows my mind every time.

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Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
[Psalm 139:23-24]

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Lord, i pray that You would break me to see more of you. i pray that i would seek to delight in Your beautiful creation and the blessings of the people around me. teach me to love others unconditionally. Lord, only by Your grace can my eyes be opened and heart humbled to completely delight in You and to not be distracted by silly worldly things. forgive me for allowing thoughts to hinder my confidence in You even when i know and believe that You work all things together for good. i pray that i would remember that these trials are set in place to refine us. our feelings are so deceptive and we seek to handle hardships on our own, but i pray that i would remember that when we are weak, You are strong. You are my rock, my refuge, my strength. You are so wonderful and i can't ever thank You enough for everything.

"what are you doing after college?"

i have some options.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,

and all these things will be added to you"

[Matthew 6:33]

thank you.

=thank you God for these reminders today=

of who you are

perfect, holy, powerful, merciful, just, consistent, loving

of who we are

sinful, helpless, vulnerable, weak

of why we need you

because nothing else will satisfy,

because nothing else brings joy,

because we cannot do this alone.

and praise the Lord.

another sinner is saved by grace!

Instead you ought to say,

"If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that."

[James 4:15]

my kind of love story...

...is one i'd share with everyone i meet. my kind of love story gives me chills at just the thought of his love. my kind of love story doesn't run my bank account dry. my kind of love story doesn't require me to look a certain way. my kind of love story exists despite my flaws and mistakes. my kind of love story exists because of my flaws and mistakes. my kind of love story does not involve a love that changes overnight. my kind of love story doesn't involve roses, cheesy poems, dinner-and-a-movie, butterflies or shooting stars.

For God so loved the world

that He gave His only begotten Son,

that whoever believes in Him should not perish

but have eternal life.

[John 3:16]

my kind of love story involves a God who loves unconditionally, selflessly, sacrificially, abundantly. my kind of love story involves a God who doesn't just give gifts on a random day in february. my kind of love story involves one perfect gift of Jesus Christ that's more valuable than anything else. my kind of love story was written even before i was alive. my kind of love story involves the truest of all true loves. my kind of love story has a happy ending because there is no ending. my kind of love story will last forever and ever. my kind of love story is eternal. my kind of love story is perfect. my kind of love story can also be yours.

post-23 on post 203.

in just a couple hours of officially turning the big 23, so much happened to make my little heart so overwhelmed with incredible joy as my crazy crickhollow hall became the center of so many SURPRISES!

once the clock struck midnight, the weekly devotional with the bfriend was interrupted by banging on my door. i slowly opened it, only to see my beloved residents crowded around!!balloons, two giant cakes, ice cream and so many smiling faces!

i told them that i was so thankful and proud to be their RA and that i wasn't so sure if i'd be able to spend my birthday with my own family, but that we were family in itself. thank you rezzies for the awesome surprise!

but that's not where zee surprises ended...
little did i know that another dynamic duo was ready to pounce, equipped with my favorite dessert

sneaky sneaky bfriend successfully distracted me as the duo snuck in.

check out helen's play-by-play account
& the video amy made that documented the whole shabang!
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other birthday festivities:

^ stonefire grill with church fam and cacho^ dinner @ hooters with my foreal family

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and thank you also to those who greeted me with heartwarming texts, emails, messages, phone calls, smoke signals, writing in the sky etc. im so incredibly blessed to have such amazing people in life. beyond that, i give all the praise to God who transformed my foolish heart & mind a couple of years ago and granted me a life worth living and blessed me with people to share it with. now i can attribute such wonderful things to Him, giving the glory where it belongs. it's been a trying year indeed. 20 felt weird, 21 was a little cray cray and 22 felt safe. im not sure what 23 will bring, but it feels good already. my birthday wish? for God to grow and use me to do His work whatever/wherever that may be.

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Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained.

[Philippians 3:13-16]

* pics from alice kim & helen wong

supplication.

Nevertheless, I am continually with you,
You hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel
and afterward you will receive me to your glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth
that I desire beside you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

[Psalm 73:23-26]
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humble me, Lord. really break my heart for what breaks yours. continue to show me that You are sufficient above all things. i want to seek your guidance over anyone else's. grow me to desire You, to delight IN you alone, not just the gifts, but the Giver. yes, i struggle with the conflicting desires of my prideful flesh and my selfish heart, but i pray that i will learn to trust You completely. i stumble more than i want to admit, but i pray that my faith is grounded in good soil to produce good fruit, so i may please You. re-focus me to serve with humility, patience, truth and love. purify my thoughts and actions to fully re-center them on You, the one who deserves all the praise and glory for any good thing in this world. thank you for being so patient with me.