i ventured to a familiar place this past weekend, with the same yummy pizza, screaming kiddos, rigged games, and creepy robotic mascots to celebrate my little goddaughter's big 6th birthday!
my goddaughter, mari, growing up too fast!birthday diva.the real party people. after hours of frustration, competitiveness, many laughs, (and 1500 tickets later) the birthday princess took home a twisty straw, blendy pens and something with hannah montana's face on it.... so worth it for this little lady.
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. — Philippians 4:11
Thoughts on Today's Verse...
Paul tells Timothy that one of life's greatest treasures is to find contentment in godliness (1 Tim. 6:6). With this treasure, our physical circumstances become far less important to us than the character we display in those circumstances. Our bottom line is less important than loving God from the bottom of our hearts. Those who are wealthy and show godliness, a very difficult challenge according to Jesus, are those who have demonstrated that they are content to be godly and will be that kind of person with or without wealth. Those who are poor and are godly have demonstrated the same ability. So the bottom line is not how rich are we in money, but how rich are we in grace!
My Prayer...
Steadfast and faithful Father, still my restless and sometimes covetous heart and help me find my contentment in your presence and character in my life. In the name of Jesus. Amen.
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i made this website my homepage, so i get a little snipit of Scripture every time i decide to browse el interneto. it helps to reinforce verses and it's really been a blessing to be exposed to the Word at various times throughout the day. PTL for the encouraging and convicting Word.
Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.
Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. [James 4:13-16] ======= i've been struggling with the temptation of worrying. the last several months have brought about an abundance of changes and the next several months will have a bunch as well. new & different circumstances arise, triggering an emotional freakout inside.my initial response is to question. i get that unsettling feeling of anxiety. i always want to know what lies ahead, i want to be able to have a say, i want to lead, i want to know that everything will just be okay. ==========
doubt & fear are the opposites of faith & trust ========== a couple of weeks ago, pastor ed presented a sermon entitled "Knowing God's Will is Worth the Wait". in a society that's based on instant gratification, we (too) often lose patience and become frustrated when we do not see immediate results. then we try to take matters into our own hands, assuming that we have it under control as if our way is the better way. but as pastor ed explained in his sermon, our failure to wait upon the Lord "can bring about disastrous consequences". our distrust and impulsive decisions hinder God's ability to bless us in the path that He has established. in the end, we cause more harm than help in a situation that was already under control. but of course, pastor ed reminded us that waiting patiently does not imply that we idly sit around and twiddle our thumbs. instead, we need to have the mindset of resting in the Lord and listening for God's guidance because im sure His plans surpass anything that we could ever do on our own. ==========
"while we stand still, God is moving and active" -pastor ed
========== i don't know what will happen in the future. i don't know how He'll change & grow my heart. i don't know how God will work in my life. but i do know (and trust) that God has a plan to work out all things for good (Romans 8:28).i know that God will never abandon us even at seemingly hopeless moments (Deuteronomy 31:8). i know i need to listen, understand and pray more. i know i need to be more patient and more trusting during all these changes. i know God is strengthening my faith in Him through these new&different experiences. i know that the God who's responsible for creating this wonderful and ginormous world also takes time to care for individuals.
and i know it will all be okay because i know that God is good. PTL indeed.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,
for those who are called according to his purpose. [Romans 8:28]
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? [Romans 8:31-32]
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. [Romans 8:38-39]
i can't believe it. three years living in this comfy irvine apartment. it's taking me weeks to actually pack up my stuff, somewhat because of laziness and somewhat because of denial...
^ the original198 roomies. ^ summer '06 roomies.
^ my 20th birthday. february '07. ^ end of the year dinner. june '07. ^ Christmas '07. ^ at our best. january '08. ^ my 21st birthday. february '08. ^ thanksgiving '08. ^ vegas trip '08. ^ my 22nd birthday. february '09. =========
i clearly didn't know what i was signing up for when i agreed to live with this crazy bunch. the late night/early morning meals, the rock band sessions, the late night bonding, idle laptop lounging, american idol/reality tv watching, LOST nights, game nights, crazy nights, picture taking, random conversations. and although i was costantly in and out of this place, making it more of a pitstop, i thank God for the experiences here. i really did gain a second family while living in this home away from home. i really appreciate everything that 198 has contributed to my college years (so far). and thanks for all the visitors who stopped by and added their own special flavor to this place (we hope you enjoyed our couch/floor). thank you 198 & Co. for the constant support, funsises and love. =========
favorite 198 pictoral (fun with photoshop)
favorite 198 video (karaoke night)
cheers to three years of memories at 198. love love love love you guys!
i went home for a couple of days. & this is what i encountered:
a picture-perfect view as soon as i arrived.
an anxious little puppy.
and hardcore Lakers fans, ready to celebrate the championship!
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my main purpose for my return was to pack/unpack/re-pack my stuff... for moving out of my apartment/moving back home/moving into the dorms. i dug through boxes of souvenirs and "knick-knacks" from experiences from way back in elementary school to recent years. it was pretty tough to let some things go and somewhat of a relief to throw out other things.
upon venting about how bummed i was to be selling my beloved childhood house, jurr suggested that i should start thinking "heaven-minded". i was reminded me of how things are just things. he reminded me that some people don't even get to live in a house, let alone a nice house for 15+ years. i realized how much i took that house for granted while i lived there. and now that it's about to be sold, i realized the excessive value i placed on a house, a replaceable place.
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Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. [Matthew 6:19-21]
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regardless of how precious i consider our material belongings, they do not hold nearly as much value as my family, my friends, my faith and the wonders we'll encounter in Heaven.
thank you God for always providing for us and for placing people in our lives who point us to You.
i was particularly blessed by a sunday evening rock harbor service (06/07/09). pastor chad preached on the prodigal son, a familiar parable, depicting God's love and forgiveness to those who repent and humble themselves to Him. the rebellious son turned to a worldly lifestyle, engulfed in sin. after recognizing how empty that "reckless living" was, he returned to his father, feeling unworthy of any provisions or refuge or love. the son was disappointed in himself and didn't expect his father's forgiveness after admitting his disobedience. but this loving and compassionate father was overjoyed of his son's return and demanded a grand celebration. what an unexpected blessing!
oh man, pastor chad was right when he said that we would not hear that parable like we ever did before. he discussed that like the forgiving father in the parable, God also performs that great forgiveness with us. even with our sinful nature, constant rejection and temptation to stray away from God, He still grants us his abundant love. He doesn't care what mistakes you've made in the past (Lord knows I’ve made my share of ‘em). You don’t need a long list of good deeds you’ve done to make up for anything, as long as you return to Him in faith with a willing and repentant heart. no obligation for frequent rituals and obligations, just a relationship grounded on faith. it's free love---reliable, unending, abundant, steadfast. it's just our choice if we want to accept the greatest gift imaginable. pastor chad also included that leaving us with this free will was the most merciful act God has ever done because living life alone--- trying to endure these trials with unreliable methods, filling voids with more emptiness--- just shows how much we really need something/someone to save us from ourselves. and how awesome is it that God, because He loves us, already sent that Savior, Jesus Christ, who died to forgive us for the countless sins of all mankind. i must say that is pretty awesome indeed. PTL!
after the message, a girl named kim shared her testimony of a life wrapped up in meaningless sex, heavy drug/alcohol abuse, and unhealthy abusive relationships. after years of chaos, she acknowledged that something was missing--- she turned to Christ and now has this intense joy in her life that she never experienced with anything before (the temporary effects of drugs/alcohol/relationship could never match the joy she has now in her faith). i was really taken aback and really encouraged by her life story. i was able to speak to her briefly after the service and she explained to me that she doesn't regret anything because now it is part of her testimony that could maybe help lead others to Christ; she's just so thankful that God gave her a second chance. it's so easy to think "man, my life sucks" and then you actually open your ears to such suffering others have endured. pastor chad explained that “everyone has their own grace story” where God’s grace was poured out into their lives to draw them back Him. it's not at all a coincidence that people often turn to Christ after realizing how empty their life is. becoming more than just a believer and fully becoming a follower really makes a difference. personally, i think it has been the best decision i've ever ever made. regardless of where you've been, what you've done, what you've experienced, i'm constantly reminded that everyone needs a Savior.
praise God for His grace. because i am constantly reminded that without Him, i am nothing but because of Him/with Him/through Him, i have everything i need.
as always, im more than happy to talk more about this. so whenever you'd like, whenever you're ready, im here to listen :)
Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"—yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring.
What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." [James 4:13-15] ========
my original plans fell through so i temporarily abandoned a couple life-list items, pushing my idealistic ambitions to the back of my head. months passed and now i feel like God has been sprinkling signs all over to draw me back to those original plans. maybe it's better that i didn't pursue such big dreams before because they were clearly for self-centered gain anyway. and living for yourself can be quite empty. but now i have the resources, a re-ignited passion, and the right focus.
======== Commit your work to the LORD and your plans will be established. [Proverbs 16:3] ========
as with all things in life, anything can happen. it's all in God's hands and i need to be mindful of blessings in every situation... even if these plans of mine fall through once again. i really need to further develop a steadfast trust in the Lord in this situation and every other part of my life. it's so easy to try and take control of our lives, building up self-centered lifestyles and forgetting to completely depend on God. it's so easy to claim that A, B and C will happen in X, Y, and Z amount of time. while "wishful thinking" may help to keep your eye on the prize, it is through prayer and trust in God that you will find the comfort & inspiration to actually move forward.
======== Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. [Proverbs 3:5-6] ========
so... if the Lord wills, next summer i will be in Thailand and the Philippines for missions. between now and then, i want to grow closer to God, i need to learn more, develop my knowledge, read more and definitely pray more about it. im obviously feeling unprepared right now, so i really need God for strength and guidance, to push me towards this ginormous goal. i hope i can keep Him at the center through all this excitement. but i also understand that if these particular aspects of my future do not turn out how i want them to, i know it's all in God's good plan for me. because i've learned that where you end up is exactly where God wants you.
it was somewhat of an odd feeling being at graduation(s) this weekend, seeing my fellow class of '05 friendsies all decked out in their caps, gowns and leis as their proud friends and families gathered to share the experience. there are snipits of time where i wonder if i should've planned out my college path a little better in order to wrap everything up in the usual four years. but i suppose the 4-year plan just ain't for me. im sure God kept me around one more year for a reason i shall find out soon enough. so yayy victory lap!
congrats to all you lovely anteater ladies & gents who made it through the cray-cray college years! im so proud of yalls! have fun out there in the "real world". come visit! free swipes galore!rafael gaskell piamnote, aka skelly.playing favorites.congrats girl-roommate!mchs '05 ladiesproud momma of this spohana grad!2/5 of 198 graduated...not bad.patreez, you did it!proud anteater.UP-inspired. preparing for next year :)
old executive board reunion. ^ jurr and i *study-bomb* some friendsies! ^ post-bible study hangout. 7 girls' attempt to finish chili fries @ the hat. children's sunday school. God's already blessed these kiddos with incredible talent! Titus, age 5. ^ WOW! put my failed attempts at drawing to shame. ^ CIE staff end-of-the-year potluck. ah yes, the perks of working on-campus
(most of) CIE staff advisors and peer advisors 08-09. ^ best professor at uci takes his favorite peer assistants to lunch @ ruby's shake shack. monkey flip shake goodness.
enjoying the coast, exchanging plans for the upcoming year, sharing ideas about dealing with outrageous budget cuts and gaining insight about the under-valued occupation of teachers. ========== yikes. the year's winding down. more about that whole sitch up next...
my goddaughter, mari, growing up too fast!
birthday diva.
the real party people.
after hours of frustration, competitiveness, many laughs,
And we know that for those who love God
What then shall we say to these things?
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers,
^ the original198 roomies.
^ summer '06 roomies.
^ my 20th birthday. february '07.
^ end of the year dinner. june '07.
^ Christmas '07.
^ at our best. january '08.
^ my 21st birthday. february '08.
^ thanksgiving '08.
^ vegas trip '08.
^ my 22nd birthday. february '09.
favorite 198 video
a picture-perfect view as soon as i arrived.
an anxious little puppy.
and hardcore Lakers fans, ready to celebrate the championship!
rafael gaskell piamnote, aka skelly. 
playing favorites.
congrats girl-roommate!
mchs '05 ladies
proud momma of this spohana grad!
2/5 of 198 graduated...not bad.
patreez, you did it!
proud anteater.
UP-inspired.
preparing for next year :)
^ PASS end-of-the-year banquet.
^ jurr and i *study-bomb* some friendsies!
^ post-bible study hangout.
children's sunday school.
Titus, age 5.
^ WOW! put my failed attempts at drawing to shame.
^ CIE staff end-of-the-year potluck.
(most of) CIE staff advisors and peer advisors 08-09.
^ best professor at uci takes his favorite peer assistants to lunch
monkey flip shake goodness.
enjoying the coast, exchanging plans for the upcoming year, sharing ideas about dealing with outrageous budget cuts and gaining insight about the under-valued occupation of teachers.
