one thing at a time

giving thanks.

2010-11-25T09:29:00.000-08:00

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. [1 Thessalonians 5:16-18]

I love Thanksgiving; it’s by far my favorite holiday. And while I love me some ham (yeah, not so much a turkey fan), stuffing, mashed potaters, with a slice (or two) of pumpkin pie, there are such greater things to be thankful for. I love how my family comes together, I love how we can share our blessings, I love how we’re that much closer to CHRISTmas. I especially love this holiday because it provokes an “attitude of gratitude.” This particular holiday allows us to take a little break from our busybee lives, take the attention off ourselves and project our thankfulness elsewhere.

Although I would love to list out the oodles of blessings that make my heart overflow with gratitude, I can sum it all up in giving thanks to the Giver of all these gifts. Without giving thanks to the One who provides all these things, these things would just be tangible, expendable things. And I hope that God grows our hearts to rejoice always regardless if we have all this stuff or if we’re experiencing favorable circumstances for God alone is the sufficient source of gratitude.

So thank You, oh gracious God, for everything You are. You are a God who is consistent, who loves unconditionally, who has given us Your Word that we may learn about You by the power of the Holy Spirit, who hears the cries of our hearts, who comforts us in the most trying times, who places beautiful people and opportunities in our lives, who provides blessings that we do not deserve. But most importantly God, thank You for the gift of Your Son, Jesus, who is more than just a “good example.” He suffered the horrific punishment in our place and served as a sufficient sacrifice to reconcile us to You as he conquered sin and death so that we may live. Forgive us for often being ungrateful or being negligent of the Giver of all the luxuries we have. May we be challenged to maintain this spirit of thanksgiving throughout the year because there is always something to be thankful for.

beyond this life.

2010-11-09T23:05:00.000-08:00

I often think about heaven...

- What will it be like? What will I do there? Where will I live? Who will I be reunited with? Who will I meet? While I may dream about roads paved in gold and a grand mansion to rest in, all of that won't matter because I'm pretty sure my one concern and the first person I'll want to see is Jesus himself! What will I say to him? What will he say to me? What will I do? I think my main priority would be to thank him for saving me. It's like that one song, I can only imagine...

- How awful would it be if we were accepted into heaven based on our works alone? I bet no one would get in, elbowing each other to get to the front of the line, trying to outdo each other, claiming that they did more than the next person and, therefore, deserve a better place in heaven. Everyone would be arguing and competing over what they did and how it entitles them to VIP treatment in heaven. But we can never earn heaven because we can never deserve heaven. We deserve quite the opposite. That would be horrible if we had to work our way to heaven, but thank God that all we have to do is receive the gift of eternal life through faith. It is his pure love, mercy and grace that reconciles us to him even though we don't deserve it. We don't have to do anything, everything has already been done for us.

- Why not think of living for today instead? While I do appreciate every day that God blesses me with, the opportunities, the people, etc, I know that time here on this earth is but a vapor and there is more beyond this life. I am so extremely grateful for every moment here and I hope to take advantage of every moment here. But I also do want to set my mind on heavenly things instead of idly absorbing the illusions of what the world offers. So I hope to live this life that is pleasing to the very God that sustains my life to experience it.

- And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold,the dwelling placeof God is with man. He willdwell with them, and they will be his people,and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, anddeath shall be no more,neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." [Revelation 21:4]

I long for this day. Wouldn't you, my friend? Let's talk.

run with endurance.

2010-10-22T21:46:00.000-07:00

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a could of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God [Hebrews 12:1-2]

After fighting through a fun week of a sore throat, runny nose (and all that other good stuff), I was determined to suck it up for 13.1 miles this Sunday for the LB half marathon. I wasn’t feeling nearly as prepared as the Surf City Half back in February and my excitement was buried beneath tissues and a lack of motivation. The night before, I meditated on these verses and completely surrendered it all to God. As always, I knew I would surely need God to be my strength.

Brento and I arrived in gloomy Long Beach by 5am as the dark streets were jam-packed with proud runners stuffed in cars with bumper stickers like “Divas <3 to Run.” We stretched out, waited in a ginormous line for the potty and headed to the start line.

Miles 1 and 2 were a breeze while hundreds of us ran like a school of fishies. At mile 3 and 4, I was still feeling good, feeding off the energy of the diverse and enthusiastic crowd. Then at miles 5-8, I felt my body shutting down. I felt defeated as people kept zooming by me, but my competitve nature would not allow that. As my pride increased, so did the pain. My bad left knee was about to go out, my lungs were pushing full throttle by then. The energy bar from earlier and baby cups of powerade throughout the race were just not cuttin’ it. By mile 9, my vision was blurred and I had to stop several times to stretch out and breathe. More intense prayer kicked in by now. Miles 10 and 11 were a fight with myself although the cheers on the sidelines and strangers’ high fives gave me little boosts throughout the way. Then on mile 12, I just couldn’t do it. I had to stop. As I started to walk, I suddenly noticed a shirtless man ahead of me with a fatty tattoo on his back of a cross on a hill. I started to pick up the pace once again, feeling unusually rejuvenated and literally fixed my eyes on the cross to draw me to that finish line.

Now, the race continues and I must press on.
And I must remember where to focus my eyes---
on You, oh Lord, help me to always fix my eyes on You.

how’s that for some sky candy?

2010-10-22T21:43:00.000-07:00

Now, summer’s not leaving without a fight. The heavy heat’s been rolling in for several days now… and so have some of the most beautiful clouds I’ve ever seen!! These pictorals were taken on my way to and from work. I just had to stop and snap some photos of these sights. I just had to stop and worship. All I could think was, “wow God, just wow.” What an absolute blessing to be surrounded by amazing sights of Creation, pieces of evidence that a genius Creator truly exists!

Full of splendor and majesty is his work, and his righteousness endures forever! [Psalm 111:3]

As I am amazed of your wonderful works and thankful for all the blessings in my life, oh God, I pray that I am even more in awe of who YOU are and the most wonderful gift that You have given to us. I pray that I remember that Creation is a mere reflection of the Creator. And oh how beautiful it is and how beautiful You are, indeed.

I GIVE UP.

2010-09-21T22:18:00.000-07:00

No matter how much I try and try, I am always reminded I cannot do this on my own. So, once again, I give up. It’s pretty exhausting trying to do all and be all. Lord, please help me to surrender. My little heart is filled with big ambitions, but I know that you, oh God, are even bigger and greater and Your guiding hand will direct my steps. I want to surrender my desires, my heart, my talents, my goals, my life into Your hands because I know that You know what is best for me. If I’m not living to wholeheartedly know, worship and love You, I’m obviously focusing on the wrong thing. Forgive me for seeking pleasure in silly places. You alone can satisfy. You are all I need. Nothing else can fill these voids but You and nothing else deserves such praise. I pray that the good news would captivate my heart once again and open my eyes to see that You encompass everything perfect and lovely.

2010-09-21T22:17:00.000-07:00

WOW, i was seriously brought to tears when watching this. How encouraging to know that these guys can use their God-given talents to reach so many people in sharing the truth of how we absolutely need God. I hope those who view this video look beyond the tight dancing (because it was super tight!!) and really focus on the driving force behind it—- Jesus Christ. We need him. Thank you Vinh, Keone and Mari for sharing this and glorifying God through the talents He has blessed you with. Praise the Lord foreal.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. [Colossians 3:17]

love.

2010-09-21T22:16:00.001-07:00

"I love you, O LORD, my strength.
[Psalm 18:1]"

Right now, I am weak. I am frazzled. I am vulnerable. I am helpless without You. My heart is heavy. My mind wanders.

But You, O LORD, are my strength and my refuge.

I don’t know a whole lot, but I know You are real and I know you are the reason for every blessing and with me through every trial.

God is good.

2010-09-21T22:15:00.001-07:00

I find myself wandering into temptation, finding comfort and contentment in foolish things. It’s such a struggle when we know what we should do, but our fleshy desires direct us elsewhere. Why splash in the mud for a little while when God offers you the most wonderful riches for all eternity?

Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased. - C.S. Lewis

Dear God, I know that what You offer is beyond comprehension. Even the most satisfying things in life cannot compare to what You have in store for those who believe and trust in You. I also know that I am weak against temptation, so I pray that I would cling to You as my Rock because we know that my mind and heart can be rather unstable. I know that you know what is best for me. Increase my faith to live by that truth, a real doer of your word. Lord, enlarge my heart and open my eyes to acknowledge opportunities and fill me with the boldness to be a witness for You. And please soften hearts, break down walls, reveal Yourself to those who really need You for healing, comfort, direction and true love that they cannot receive from anyone else. We need You.

God is everything I need and I pray that He transforms my heart to genuinely make Jesus my greatest treasure. Because of him, my life would not make sense. He is the way, the truth and the life. He is the Creator of all things, the sustainer of life, the giver of all necessities, the strength in trials, the teacher of true knowledge, the leader in times of uncertainty, the source of abundant joy, the only one who can love perfectly.

God is so good. How can I not rejoice?

I am praying for you.

a God who knows.

2010-09-21T22:14:00.000-07:00

In the midst of our suffering, our God is there, with a love ever so unfailing. Trust Him with your pain, place your hand in His, give your heart to Him, He won’t let you down.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. [Hebrews 4:15]

2010-09-08T01:26:00.000-07:00

homegirl ruby is having a pretty sweet giveaway!!

oh how i'd love to score me that snazzy polaroid camera!
other than that, check out her blog-a-roo!

2010-08-30T00:31:00.000-07:00

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. [James 4:13-16]

I approached him and revealed my growing desire to venture to the Philippines to participate in missions, particularly his student ministry in Bacolod. We exchanged our excitment and he encouraged me to pursue this yearning of my heart to reach the nations with missionary work.

Then he prayed for me.

He was a loving husband and father, a leader and evangelizer, a faithful servant of the Lord, doing great things for God’s kingdom until his last day of his unexpected death. Although we mourn the physical death of our brother, Pastor Aboi del Mundo, in his early 40s, we also rejoice that he is undoubtedly celebrating a life in heaven with the very God that he dedicated his life to serving. Praise God for his example and may his family and friends be comforted by the sufficient grace of God.

So teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom.
[Psalm 90:12]

We do not know how long God will allow us to live here on this earth, but my hope is to use this short time I am given to express gratitude to my Father in heaven. Yes, life is short, but I don’t want that fact to permit foolishness. I want to give my life to the One who gave His life for me—- I would rather lift it up with full assurance than live it up, searching for the next high, exhalting idols and chasing things that do not satisfy. Dear God, give me grace, be my strength, I cannot do this alone. Teach me to number my days, pursuing only things that are pleasing in Your sight.

so encouraged!

2010-08-26T10:34:00.000-07:00

i just wanted to share a blog post by our friend, marc, a new believer and already going strong with a desire to learn and grow in the knowledge and love of God! PTL!
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Page by Page Struggle

It’s either ALL the Word of God, or it isn’t.

Something that is a constant battle for me and I’m sure will continue to be, so long as I continue to grow in my faith.

I’ve been attending Creekside Church every Sunday for the past couple months or so, and when I can’t make it to Irvine from being out of town or other circumstances I listen to the sermons online once they’re posted to get caught up. The series of messages are called Kingdom Living and have all been about Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount which is a compilation of Jesus’ teachings on how to live our lives. Each week a different section of the Sermon on the Mount is discussed at Creekside, and each time I learn something new about myself that I have to change or adjust in order to better follow God’s Word. Now these changes don’t come immediately for me, or for anyone I presume, but with prayer and just continually studying the Bible it becomes easier and easier to try and mold myself into the person God wants me to be.

Now I guess the next question is why should I continually have to change how I act or think each time I read something in the Bible that conflicts with how I think or act already? Well to put it simply, it’s because I’m a believer; I believe that Jesus Christ is my savoir who died for my sins and all sins of the earth. I invited God into my life because I’ve learned that I need His guidance. Along with allowing God to enter my life came some rules that I have to obey and things I must do, not to prove to Him my self-worth and not to buy my way into His Kingdom, but instead to thank Him for what He has given me. Trying to do good works and live a perfectly moral life in order to prove to God that I am worthy doesn’t really make sense because I have sinned and unfortunately I probably will sin again because “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). Basically, I can’t claim my worth to God based on my obedience to Him because I fall short of God’s standards. Sounds discouraging? Not to me, because I know that due to sin I would not be allowed to live in Heaven with God; however, God provided me and all of us an opportunity to be with Him because HE LOVES US. “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). It’s this love, this unconditional love that provides the reason to why I am trying my best to re-shape my life to glorify God because I cannot possibly thank Him enough for saving me. “Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” – Romans 10:9

So that pretty much covers the reasons as to why I am trying to do things differently in my life nowadays. The problem is that it isn’t always easy to just change the way you live and believe me I have plenty more to work on in my life. But I am trying and I am proud to say I have made some significant changes in my life that I am very proud of and thank God for answering my prayers about them and giving me the strength to change. Ok, so why did I title this post “Page by Page Struggle”? Well, mainly because the more I read the Bible the more I come to agree with and the more I also come to discover “oops, I’m messing up.” These mixed feelings come from reading the Sermon on the Mount or any part of the Bible really, and it’s a struggle because when I come across something I don’t necessarily agree with or something that’s hard for me to change, what do I do? Do I ignore the parts that challenge me and disagree with my previous beliefs and focus on all the awesome parts that I do agree with? That doesn’t really make sense because that’s basically me cherry picking which parts I like and dislike; or, agreeing and living by what the Bible says on one page but then turning the page and if I dislike it, just ignore it and continue to disobey it? That won’t quite work out because “it is not the hearers of the law who are righteous before God, but the doers of the law who will be justified” (Romans 2:13). It’s not enough to just read/hear the Word of God, I have to ACTIVELY follow God’s Word. Definitely not always an easy task and I know that I am only just beginning the long journey that is to come which will be filled with difficulties that will push me and only help me grow further in my faith. If I come across something that I disagree with in the Bible, or is hard for me to obey I know I just need to pray about it and continually try and work towards correcting that fault in myself because “the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing” (James 1:25). I know I’ll make mistakes along the way, after all I am only human, but the comfort in knowing that God will be there every step of the way to help me out makes me understand that this is a journey I’ll be able to handle. Consciously trying to make an effort to change and follow the Word of God will be rewarding, as it already has been. PTL!

family at zee fair

2010-08-26T00:05:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday, the Cruz sibs and the bro’s gfriend excitedly drove up from sd to the OC fair, with growling tummies and intense cravings for anything deep-fried, dipped, battered and/or covered with anything unhealthy. But we were literally stopped in our tracks as it turns out the fair was closed Mondays and Tuesday (i know, who does that?!) We made the most of it and had a delicious dinner at Haven gastropub instead, which left our tummies quite satisfied in the mean time.

BUT our appetites for fatty fried fair food had not yes been fulfilled, so attempt #2 came the following Sunday. This time, we had our eyes on the prize with double the determination and double the hunger… and ah yes, our eyes were definitely bigger than our bellies. We were completely stuffed after the chocolate covered bacon (super yuck), zucchini weenies, deep fried sweet potatoes, garlic fries, italian sausage, icee, deep fried s’mores, deep fried oreos, turkey legs, shaved ice and some funnel cake. Mmmmm. We shall rest our bellies and arteries til next year OC Fair!!

I thank God for my two sisters (perhaps soon to be 3!) and my favorite brother (yes, it was a hard choice). We don’t all get to hang out altogether, considering the bro and gfriend live way over in NY, but when we do, it’s so refreshing. Obviously, no one knows you like family—- the ones you grew up with, the ones who played with you, the ones who bullied you, the ones you could share your deepest thoughts with, the ones who teased you, the ones who told you it was going to be okay, the ones who braided your hair, the ones who shared, played and prayed with you. We’ve been through a lot together, but God has sustained us. And I highly doubt you’ll ever read this—- but thank you mommy and daddy for raising us exactly how you did. I know we’re not the easiest kiddos to deal with. We don’t tell you enough how thankful we are and how much we love you, so I hope we try to do that way more often.

Thank you so much God for these lovely people I am blessed to call my family.

Psalm 94:18-19

2010-08-24T10:02:00.000-07:00

When I said, “My foot is slipping,”
your love, O LORD, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me,
your consolation brought joy to my soul. (NIV)

=========
When I thought,(A) “My foot slips,”
your steadfast love, O LORD,(B) held me up.
When the cares of my heart are many,
your consolations cheer my soul. (ESV)

=========

Your Word is so rich with truths and encouragement. It speaks to my heart and my soul at the exact moment when I need it the most! It transcends time and applies to every experience in life. Oh awesome God, grow me to crave Your Word, to love Your Word, to follow Your Word, to obey Your Word, to share Your Word.

backwards thinking.

2010-08-24T09:58:00.000-07:00

“We may feel our faith isn’t strong enough to see miracles and move mountains in our lives. Some well-meaning friends may tell us we need “more faith” or “greater faith.” But this is backwards thinking. It’s not so much great faith in God that’s required, as it is faith in a great God” - Pastor Greg Laurie

soon.

2010-08-13T13:33:00.000-07:00

Lord-willing.

restless.

2010-08-13T13:25:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it is, but lately I have been feeling a little restless. I crave adventure, but few open slots in my day-to-day. While, I am a fan of structure, I often want to scream without the luxury of a flexible schedule. Perhaps it's because I've been sitting comfortably in this Irvine bubble for five years and the OC just ain't cuttin' it anymore. Maybe it's because I feel like God's calling me to do some big things somewhere else. Nonetheless, I trust that God has planted me here for a reason and I hope that I'll be able to accept His current mission with a joyful heart and not a bitter flesh. It's so easy for us to fix our eyes on our problems instead of Your promises. Enlarge my heart, increase my faith, God.

I have been praying for God to grow me to be content, to be patient in these current circumstances and to understand that there are opportunities no matter where I am... but I truly believe God is calling my little heart elsewhere. Now is the time to really pray without ceasing, to align my desires to His as I seek to honor Him with whatever He has in store for me...

Exciting opportunities have been presented for 2011 and I pray that I would be granted the discernment to make some big decisions. Lord, guide me because the future is unclear and I fight the temptation to be anxious, but I rest in the fact that You are real and You work all things together for good for those who love You.

...and friends, how may I pray for you?

say y-y-y-YES to v-v-v-v-VBS!

2010-08-09T22:33:00.000-07:00

Ah yes, August has snuck up on us, which means deep-fried everything at the OC fair… but also it’s Vacation Bible School (VBS) time! Last week, our church united to serve the children of the community for a week-long event of delving into God’s Word, singing silly songs, grubbin on delicious home-cookin’, arts-and-crafting, and learning about how awesome Jesus is! After each day of VBS, the staff was exhausted, but we re-energized for these kiddos in hopes that we would be effective witnesses of the gospel.

This year, God presented me with the challenge of teaching grades 4 and 5 with my awesome assistant duo, Derek and EJ! Although this rowdy group of “Space Rangers” were unable to maintain focus for more than 3.5 minutes, they were such a blessing! Their eagerness to learn and understand the gospel transformed into big, heavy questions. It was a test of our patience, of course, but praise God because we could experience their true child-like faith that He calls us to have. I pray that these kids will one day learn to know and love Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior.

I could see God moving for sure through the week. It was such a beautiful sight to be in the main auditorium for worship, seeing everyone from toddlers to the elders singing together and reciting memory verses. It was awesome to know that in each class from babies to the “more mature”, people were hearing the gospel and how absolutely relevant it is to their lives. What an incredible display that there is no age limit to when a person can learn about God, especially because God is so infinite that we’ll never understand Him completely. But what we do know about Him and what He offers is more than enough to have true assurance in a God who loves, cares, strengthens, forgives, etc etc etc. PTL f’sho! :)

it's not about us.

2010-07-25T23:14:00.000-07:00

There is a throne at the center of the universe and we are NOT sitting on it

- Pastor Mike Eary, Rock Harbor

“In the beginning GOD.” God doesn’t need us. Creation will worship Him even when we don’t. It is a privilege to worship Him. It is a privilege to take part in His story. As Pastor Mike Eary reminded us, this story is not about us. This life is not about us. It was not created by us, it is not sustained by us. In the scope of eternity, our life is but a vapor, a mist. We are mere instruments and background characters in God’s story. He is the Creator, author, director of our lives (which is pretty awesome because my self-written story would probably turn out just as flawed as I am). He graciously provides us with this wonderful life to enjoy. Despite the reality that we are so small in His world, He loves us so much to the point of sending His own Son to die for us. In our tiny minds, that just doesn’t make sense. Why would the most powerful, greatest, mightiest God do such a crazy thing for such “disposable” creatures?

Then I remember that He loves us. I cannot emphasize that enough. Despite how insignificant, unworthy, overlooked, dirty, useless we may feel, He loves us. And in that brokenness, in our weakness, in our realization of how helpless we are in His world without Him, we can truly understand our strength when we put our entire trust in Him. For when I am weak, I am truly strong because I remember that I need a great and powerful God to fill my voids and renew my heart daily.

Mike Eary says that when we realize that we are not the main character of this incredible story, we will become incredibly important and used for God’s purpose. It’s so easy to get swept up in the me me me of society. My dreams, my wants, my desires, my feelings, my pain, my schedule, my life. With this mentality, we begin to feel entitled to things, people, attention, etc. Imagine telling your closest friends that you’re going to live for yourself, for your own happiness. That seems like such a silly way to live, but we’re all guilty of it (myself included). It seems rather foolish to crave others’ praise when we should be directing ours towards the One who ultimately deserves ours beyond measure. Thank you God for reminding me that it is not about us, it’s all about You.

let go.

2010-06-25T22:52:00.002-07:00

O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it. - Psalm 139:1-6

God knows my heart. He knows my thoughts before I notice they’re forming in my head. He knows my true desires even if I won’t admit them. God knows what I want and what I need. God delights when I delight in Him. He also hurts when something else steals away that attention. He wants me to know Him because He knows what’s best for me. God knows when I am hurting and He knows just what will heal that pain. He understands healing and He understands pain because He has felt every bit of that suffering. He weeps with me. He gives me strength. God chases me through my stubbornness and neglect. He is patient when I am not. He never leaves me, even when I feel like I’m helpless and all alone. He has a plan for me. God wants me to live a fulfilling life. He offers a greater joy than I have ever experienced elsewhere. God rejoices in my praises, He listens to my prayers, He hears the deepest cries of my heart.

God loves me… but more than that, God loves YOU.

2010-06-25T22:52:00.001-07:00

"He is infinite and we are finite; there will always be more of His character to discover, more of His love to experience, and more of His power to use for His purposes"

“Forgotten God”- Francis Chan

so this is it.

2010-06-25T22:51:00.000-07:00

The past several weeks have been a blur, jam-packed with programs, dancing dancing, hangouts, conversations, banquets, packing. On top of all this, the bfriend was in town for a couple of weeks, so plenty of quality time was spent together and playing with friendsies. And now, he has returned to the big apple, my residents are loading their ridiculous amount of stuff into their cars and my boys’ suite is blasting their “tear-jerker” playlist (with the classics of boyz II men, pdiddy and other slow jams that belong on the “touch game” soundtrack). My walls are bare, the hall is eerily quiet. I can’t stop denying it—- it’s here—- the end of college is really here.

Everyone keeps asking me if im excited or sad or scared to graduate. And i get this uneasy feeling as i think, “should i be excited, sad, or scared?” The truth is—- i can’t really say i’m any of the above. I am simply content. I have had a fulfilling five years (yayy victory lap!!), pursuing what i’m passionate about, devoting time to people i absolutely love, growing closer to God who has captured my heart.

So thank you to all of you lovely people who contributed to these five fruitful years. mi familia. cuesta. 198 & co. pass. MCIA. MMMKK. aifs. spurple year (mariachi bearshark fiesta) and spgold year (spohana!). middle earth. crickholla. cfbc. julianleong. and many many many more.

But the biggest and grandest praise goes to the most gracious God. How could i take or give credit and thanks without giving thanks to the One who gave it all so that i could enjoy these things? Ah, grace, receiving things that i do not deserve. What an absolute wonder it is to look back on these years and see how God works through struggles, events and people to grow us, to bring us to where we are now. I just can’t imagine attributing the love and growth i’ve experienced over the years to silly things like luck or coincidence. Every good and perfect thing can only be a result of a good and perfect God.

“I’m so proud you found your finale”- bfriend

the truest of all loves.

2010-06-04T21:33:00.000-07:00

We learn to love by being loved. - julian @ mcia bible study

And there is no better way to distinguish love than through the ultimate event that exemplified undeniable love—- on the Cross. God the Father sacrificing his beloved Son for our sake, a corrupt, sinful people. What an absolutely incredible concept that God would do such a thing for people who clearly did not deserve it. It just doesn’t make any sense. If His love and salvation are free gifts in exchange for faith, I’d say that’s a pretty sweet deal.

Jesus is way more than just a good person in history. He is my Savior, bearer of all sin for my sake. He is the ultimate example of humility, servanthood, obedience, etc etc. He is my Lord, Creator of all things, giver of all things, controller of all things. God IS love, unchanging, consistent, never disappointing, abounding, overwhelming, eternal love. It’s that kind of love that transforms your perception of how to love others. Now that’s the kind of love I want to chase, the kind of love I want to rest in, and that’s also the kind of love I want to give.

We love because he first loved us. [1 John 4:19]

Lord, teach me to love You more and to love more like you— obediently, consistently, unconditionally. May the life of Your Son beyond that very moment on that Cross be a constant image in my mind that transforms my heart into action towards others. I pray that this be a reminder that You are the true example of love beyond anything this world can offer.

my love.

2010-05-25T21:26:00.001-07:00

julianLeong, you are truly a blessing in my life. who woulda thunk, right? i praise God for the wisdom and talent He’s blessed you with and for the love you pour out abundantly for those around you. what an absolute honor to be by your side to see how you’ve grown through the years (our story is quite unique). in fact, God used you to bring me back to Him back in the day. even though the east coast is borrowing you temporarily, im so grateful that we are still able to grow together and serve in ministry together. i must say, we’re a pretty good team. and although absence truly does make the heart grow fonder, i can’t wait til you mosey on over back back to cali cali so we can have more date nights and quality time together. you’re so awesome, quirks and all. God is maturing you into a fine, godly man who thankfully re-directs my little heart back to Him time and time again. my heart is so overjoyed to have you in my life, love. so a very happiest of birthday greetings to you, the big 24! may God continue to grow you in obedience, knowledge and love for Him. im praying for you. i love you more and more bfriend!!

what i have learned this year.

2010-05-25T21:24:00.001-07:00

I stayed for a fifth year for a number of reasons and I’m not gonna lie… part of the reason I did was for selfish reasons. I thought being an RA would complete my college experience. The perks of free housing, free meals, easy classes, and just hanging out all year weren’t too shabby either. A year to relax and figure things out for myself. Of course, I wanted to make an impact on first years, to be an example, to learn something about myself. When I accepted this position, I knew God was going to teach me something. As this year quicky comes to an end, I have learned more about me—- by learning more about Him.

This year, God revealed my flaws, my pride, my selfish ambitions, my distrust, my desire for control, my impatience, my inability to forgive, my fear, my anxieties, my weakness apart from Him and so on and so on. By doing so, He revealed Himself as sovereign, gracious, forgiving, patient and loving beyond explanation. He revealed my constant need to cling to His constant grace and fall into His loving arms.

I believe there are opportunities regardless of where you are. I had always wanted to be an RA, but His timing is so perfect in that He was growing me a little more before He thought I was ready to do work for His kingdom. I came into the position, knowing God was on my side and that there would be opportunities to proclaim Christ. This year showed me that not only is God on my side, but He is way ahead of me, preparing it all. And man, did He provide opportunities galore! Not only has He blessed me with these 80+ great residents to serve and love, but also with other friends, including mcia, whose hearts God has been moving tremendously. It really is by His grace that He has grown me in boldness to display and share the gospel.

So I must say I’m content with leaving this place at this time. I’ve done my share in college—- got involved, learned to dance, had some fun jobs, met some really amazing people, even met a guy who I’m completely in love with. I’d say after my first four years, my past experiences built up a good amount of self-confidence. Before this year, I would consider myself pretty independent and composed (at least on the outside). I suppose through years of busy schedules and overloaded involvements, I got pretty good at enduring the hectic lifestyle. I guess living where you work took “being involved” to an extreme level. I imagined the RA position to consist of daily hangouts with residents, relaxing, being spontaneous. My prideful self told me “this year will be easy, you can do it.” God told me, “this year will have many challenges; I will not let you do it alone.” Only with Him am I able to handle these ups and downs of life. Only through Him can I see how unworthy I am and how grateful I should be. And only because of Him am I able to live through every trial and blessing that come my way. God is so good. PTL.

in two places at once.

2010-05-17T16:58:00.001-07:00

http://lodydody.tumblr.com/

there is oh so much....

2010-05-14T11:29:00.000-07:00

to be thankful and excited for!!

what an absolute blessing to witness our friends' growth and desire to learn more about God! so many questions being asked, so many conversations being made, so many opportunities to proclaim Christ! i am overwhelmed, my heart's been jumping with joy and overflowing with seeing God's grace in so many lives.

while there is much to be thankful and excited for, there is also much to pray for. bros and sistas, join us in prayer for these hearts that are seeking to know who Christ is and where he fits in their lives.

dear Lord, you are doing some great things all over the place. we commit this ministry to Your hands, knowing that you are so faithful and loving. thank you for letting us be a part of your amazing work!

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.
[Hebrews 11:6]

this campus is too beautiful to overlook.
your Creation never ceases to amaze me!

hey soul sista

2010-05-06T23:00:00.000-07:00

meet my beautiful cousin, jenevieve. we would see each other at random family parties as we were growing up, the usual friendly hello's and small talk. but it wasn't until she joined mcia delta year where we actually started getting to know each other. since then, she's matured so much! from awkward freshmen newbie to captain to coord (for two years!) she's also been involved in various on-campus organizations where her passion and dedication continue to shine. above all this, her heart's been moved and transformed by the Holy Spirit as she was saved by grace earlier this year when she decided to dedicate her life to follow Christ. i'm super encouraged by her rapid growth in boldness and knowledge so early in her walk. her resilience, understanding and excitement to learn more and more about Jesus is such a blessing!

jenhabib, im really proud of you and i'm really glad i can share this experience with you. today, during our weekly hangout, you told me that when you move back home, you're scared that you'll be alone in your faith... rest assured i am but a phone call away, cousin. im here for ya now and later and know that im always praying for you, my little sister-in-Christ. beyond that, don't ever forget that God will always be with you. now that's unconditional love. what an absolutely wonderful promise! PTL! love you!

be constant in prayer.

2010-05-01T17:05:00.000-07:00

"...anything great starts with prayer. not telling him what to do, not saying God here's my plan, I want you to do this, but really just come before God and saying, I don't know what your plan is, I just want you, whatever will bring you most glory, I'm asking you to do that, I'm begging you to do that... are you completely surrendered where you say, okay God, whatever that is then, I just want it to be of you because I'm tired of me. I'm tired of what I can produce, I'm tired of what people can produce, I gotta have something supernatural in my life. It starts with prayer." - "I'm in Love" sermon by Francis Chan

I've been struggling with the recurring idolatry of control. This upcoming in-between-college-and-real-world state has got me in a funk. Even with the rebukes and reminders from the bfriend, I still harbor that anxiety and that need for control. I find myself getting frustrated at lack of responses from employers, other friends telling me about their exciting new ambitions, and the inability to respond when people ask me what I'll be doing post-graduation. For once, in a long time, I just don't know. I have way more questions than answers. But this is all so silly to me. Worry and doubt are clear indicators of a lack of trust, a lack of faith. Why am I striving to create some brilliant post-grad plan for myself? Why do I think I can figure it all out better than God can? Do I honestly think that having it all mapped out will give me the ultimate comfort? Why am I so restless?

Truth is--- I don't have it all figured out. I don't need to. As Francis Chan says, "anything great starts with prayer," so that is where I am now and that is where I'll be until God opens that door and lays out that path that He so graciously provided. "I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future." wow, what a seriously incredible statement of faith.

Lord, convict me of my foolishness. I know You have a plan, I know I should have no fear in the future. Loving God, I know these things deep in my heart, but move in me to live a life where that truth is so real. Lord, I pray I would rest in your wonderful promises and not in my unstable plans. In Your holy and precious name, amen.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD,

plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

[Jeremiah 29:11]

7 more weeks...

2010-04-15T10:30:00.000-07:00

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

[Matthew 11:28-30]

what a comfort to know that there is relief from the busy day-to-day schedules. what a comfort to know that we can find rest in a reliable, consistent, faithful God. what a comfort to know that God already knew the solutions before you even realized there was a problem. what a comfort to know that God will never leave or forsake you. what a comfort to know that God's in control. what a comfort to know that God is your strength. what a comfort to know that, while we don't know the future, we know that God's already got it all figured out. what a comfort to know that God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

so crazy.

2010-04-06T11:54:00.000-07:00

"No matter how many fascinating details we learn about God's creation, no matter how many pictures we see of His galaxies, and no matter how many sunsets we watch, we still forget. Most of us know that we are supposed to love and fear God; that we are supposed to read our Bibles and pray that we can get to know Him better; that we are supposed to worship Him with our lives. But actually living it out is challenging"- Crazy Love by Francis Chan

QT.

2010-03-22T17:08:00.001-07:00

On Sunday, Pastor Ed's message discussed faith as he used the story of young Joshua's unbelievable battle against Jericho. I think if I were in Joshua's place, I would be terrified with the incredibly huge task set before me. But why should I be so terrified?

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.
Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged,
for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
[Joshua 1:9]

do we place limits on how much we trust God? do we break down our ability to see God's consistent character as we focus on current circumstances? do we underestimate God by filling our minds with 'what if's? does our doubt blind us from knowing that God is working all things together for good? does our impatience hinder us from remembering that God's timing may be different than ours? do our feelings overpower the hope we have in God? how great would our lives be if we were more aware of God's presence and His promises?

God was undoubtedly with Joshua and his army, leading them to victory. the message in this event is altogether convicting. the battle cannot be won by our own strength. these struggles were not meant to be faced alone. when we start to think that the enemy is too strong or the task is too big, we are deflating the potential of our faith. we need to recognize that God is greater than anything and can do exceedingly beyond what we could ever comprehend.

For the foolishness of God is wiser than men,
and the weakness of God is stronger than men.
[1 Corinthians 1:25]

dear almighty God,
please grow me to have a steadfast & unmovable faith,
equipped with the complete trust
in your promises and in your presence.

thank you for displaying that ultimate trust
in the example of your Son, Jesus Christ.
we praise you, we love you, we thank you. amen.

cotton candy clouds.

2010-03-20T16:11:00.000-07:00

God, i am constantly in awe of your creation.
you know the stars by name, you hold the universe in your hands,
you made every petal on every flower, you paint the skies with colors
and you still care about each one of us.
thank you, Lord.

one year.

2010-03-06T23:30:00.000-08:00

it has been a whole year since this.

this past year has been quite an adventure indeed. God has blessed me beyond measure. He's been so good in surrounding me with great people who love in ways that both encourage and sometimes frustrate me, but help me grow in my walk nonetheless. He's also brought some heavy stuff in my life, which has prompted me to trust in Him more. only by His grace have i learned so much as i re-dedicated my life to following Christ and discovered the blessings of placing Him at the forefront of my life. i pray that in this upcoming year, God grants my desires to serve and love Him more and more!

[and who woulda thunk that the third girl sitting behind me would become one of my bestest friends?!... even though it looks like she's hating on me in the pic. awwww amyyyyy!! congrats on one year since we proclaimed our faith in the waters of baptism. cheers to more years of friendship, encouragement, venting, woman-of-God devotionals, slumber parties and more awkward moments! love you sister!! ]

thanksgiving.

2010-03-06T22:26:00.000-08:00

For my thoughts are not your thoughts
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
[Isaiah 55:8-9]

i have been thinking a lot lately. and i mean a lot. i believe that my heart belongs to God, but apparently my mind is fused with my flesh as i often strive to satisfy selfish ambitions and entertain prideful thoughts. there are so many times where i try to do so much that i realize that i don't know what i'm doing anymore. at this almost-post-college-but-not-quite phase of life, there are plenty of questions being raised and the answers are obviously unknown. i've been neglecting the present and scurrying to plan the future. it's been a recurring flaw of mine to crave that ultimate control. as soon as i think i got it all taken care of, i'm thrown off with a new challenge. every day i need to remember that i do not need to know all the answers because that would take out the mystery & adventure of life. and trying to control everything would be like trying to steal the responsibility of a sovereign God who carefully & lovingly works to direct my life. im so thankful for a God who is extremely patient, especially because i know i am not. i can't explain everything that happens in life, but i can guarantee that our faithful God knows all the answers and plans out every interaction we make and every breath we take. God knows our hearts and recognizes our flaws and still loves us. He loved us so much before we even existed. He loves us even though we tend to slip, fall, stumble and make those mistakes. He loves us so much that He gave up His own Son. and He promises us that He will not leave us or forsake us even in the seemingly loneliest times of our lives. God loves us even when we are so blinded by doubt and worry that we forget to appreciate the very life He has blessed us with to enjoy. just think about that... God loves you. oh man, that truth blows my mind every time.

-----------

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
[Psalm 139:23-24]

-----------

Lord, i pray that You would break me to see more of you. i pray that i would seek to delight in Your beautiful creation and the blessings of the people around me. teach me to love others unconditionally. Lord, only by Your grace can my eyes be opened and heart humbled to completely delight in You and to not be distracted by silly worldly things. forgive me for allowing thoughts to hinder my confidence in You even when i know and believe that You work all things together for good. i pray that i would remember that these trials are set in place to refine us. our feelings are so deceptive and we seek to handle hardships on our own, but i pray that i would remember that when we are weak, You are strong. You are my rock, my refuge, my strength. You are so wonderful and i can't ever thank You enough for everything.

"what are you doing after college?"

2010-03-04T19:11:00.000-08:00

i have some options.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,

and all these things will be added to you"

[Matthew 6:33]

thank you.

2010-02-28T23:22:00.000-08:00

=thank you God for these reminders today=

of who you are

perfect, holy, powerful, merciful, just, consistent, loving

of who we are

sinful, helpless, vulnerable, weak

of why we need you

because nothing else will satisfy,

because nothing else brings joy,

because we cannot do this alone.

and praise the Lord.

another sinner is saved by grace!

2010-02-24T01:12:00.000-08:00

Instead you ought to say,

"If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that."

[James 4:15]

my kind of love story...

2010-02-12T00:17:00.001-08:00

...is one i'd share with everyone i meet. my kind of love story gives me chills at just the thought of his love. my kind of love story doesn't run my bank account dry. my kind of love story doesn't require me to look a certain way. my kind of love story exists despite my flaws and mistakes. my kind of love story exists because of my flaws and mistakes. my kind of love story does not involve a love that changes overnight. my kind of love story doesn't involve roses, cheesy poems, dinner-and-a-movie, butterflies or shooting stars.

For God so loved the world

that He gave His only begotten Son,

that whoever believes in Him should not perish

but have eternal life.

[John 3:16]

my kind of love story involves a God who loves unconditionally, selflessly, sacrificially, abundantly. my kind of love story involves a God who doesn't just give gifts on a random day in february. my kind of love story involves one perfect gift of Jesus Christ that's more valuable than anything else. my kind of love story was written even before i was alive. my kind of love story involves the truest of all true loves. my kind of love story has a happy ending because there is no ending. my kind of love story will last forever and ever. my kind of love story is eternal. my kind of love story is perfect. my kind of love story can also be yours.

post-23 on post 203.

2010-02-05T15:33:00.000-08:00

in just a couple hours of officially turning the big 23, so much happened to make my little heart so overwhelmed with incredible joy as my crazy crickhollow hall became the center of so many SURPRISES!

once the clock struck midnight, the weekly devotional with the bfriend was interrupted by banging on my door. i slowly opened it, only to see my beloved residents crowded around!!balloons, two giant cakes, ice cream and so many smiling faces!

i told them that i was so thankful and proud to be their RA and that i wasn't so sure if i'd be able to spend my birthday with my own family, but that we were family in itself. thank you rezzies for the awesome surprise!

but that's not where zee surprises ended...
little did i know that another dynamic duo was ready to pounce, equipped with my favorite dessert

sneaky sneaky bfriend successfully distracted me as the duo snuck in.

check out helen's play-by-play account
& the video amy made that documented the whole shabang!
===========

other birthday festivities:

^ stonefire grill with church fam and cacho^ dinner @ hooters with my foreal family

===========

and thank you also to those who greeted me with heartwarming texts, emails, messages, phone calls, smoke signals, writing in the sky etc. im so incredibly blessed to have such amazing people in life. beyond that, i give all the praise to God who transformed my foolish heart & mind a couple of years ago and granted me a life worth living and blessed me with people to share it with. now i can attribute such wonderful things to Him, giving the glory where it belongs. it's been a trying year indeed. 20 felt weird, 21 was a little cray cray and 22 felt safe. im not sure what 23 will bring, but it feels good already. my birthday wish? for God to grow and use me to do His work whatever/wherever that may be.

==========

Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained.

[Philippians 3:13-16]

* pics from alice kim & helen wong

supplication.

2010-01-27T00:54:00.000-08:00

Nevertheless, I am continually with you,
You hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel
and afterward you will receive me to your glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth
that I desire beside you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

[Psalm 73:23-26]
=======

humble me, Lord. really break my heart for what breaks yours. continue to show me that You are sufficient above all things. i want to seek your guidance over anyone else's. grow me to desire You, to delight IN you alone, not just the gifts, but the Giver. yes, i struggle with the conflicting desires of my prideful flesh and my selfish heart, but i pray that i will learn to trust You completely. i stumble more than i want to admit, but i pray that my faith is grounded in good soil to produce good fruit, so i may please You. re-focus me to serve with humility, patience, truth and love. purify my thoughts and actions to fully re-center them on You, the one who deserves all the praise and glory for any good thing in this world. thank you for being so patient with me.

encouragement.

2010-01-25T12:59:00.000-08:00

God does not call the equipped,

God equips the ones He calls.

200th post word jumble.

2010-01-22T01:19:00.000-08:00

God is good. There is so much to be thankful for and so much to pray for as well. There are so many souls all over the world crying out for physical, mental, emotional, spiritual comfort. I pray that they draw close to God as He will draw close to them. Lord, I know we cannot answer why suffering coexists with such an omnipotent God, but I do know that You are a loving God of salvation that restores us even after the greatest trials. And we see that in a clear example of Christ's incredible suffering on the Cross that led to amazing, eternal rewards. I need to always remember that God is faithful and that His will is waaaaaay better than anything I could ever imagine. I can never wrap my mind around how absolutely wonderful you are. I praise you for Your mercy, your power, your kindness, your goodness: true, intimate, consistent, everlasting.

For me, I pray that He rids my anxious heart from worry and I hope pride and bitterness does not continue plague my heart. I want to passionately serve Him without becoming a meaningless routine. I pray that the Holy Spirit grants me the spiritual fruit to be a light in this dark world. I want to make everything of this world super tiny compared to the grandest of heavenly things. There should be no limit to me loving You, a God who pours out His infinite love so abundantly. Use me, mold me, Lord. Continue to transform my mind and heart to know and love you more and more. And I pray that God continues to stir in the hearts of those who are seeking and to be ever-so-evident in the lives of those who do have Christ. Lord, thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.

trip to the concrete jungle.

2010-01-12T01:42:00.000-08:00

snipits of my mini-vacay to the east coast.

to visit the bfriend, the brother, friendsies.

lots of walking, lots of eating, lots of laughing, lots of learning.

and lots of pictorals... here's just a few!

subway. ride fresh.time squizzle and all the lights... and tourists.central pErk.

walking, talking, dodging people.
at the MoMA with the brother and his gf.
5 pointz.

starting the new year together! ...in times square...kinda.

day trip to DC (the other windy city) to visit miss ica.how we escaped the wind chill.

detention. assisting my bro in his 4th grade class.

day trip to cafe habana with the dan davis.

check out his photography skills:

and... the last pictoral of zee trip.

========

praise God for the blessings He granted us during the week! im so undeserving. God is so good for being so consistently faithful, for always providing, for rebuking us out of love, and for teaching us how to be patient in His timing. im so thankful for the people He has blessed me with, including the bfriend who i loved hangin out with in his new 'hood. im so proud of and encouraged by the courage and faith that led him to the east coast. what an absolute blessing to have a friend to laugh, eat, pray and grow with. you're awesome, love.

ciao 2010!

2009-12-25T00:06:00.000-08:00

i have many goals for this new year. there are a bunch of things on my heart that i am still praying for. i just pray that God searches my heart and eliminates any selfish ambition and guides me in the right direction. i need to continue to seek His will for my life first & foremost and to fully trust that He will work in my heart and use me according to His perfect plan for me.

graduate from uci (finally). 2 more quarters with The Crick. run half-marathon. save money for cfbc missions trip. large bible studies. learn how to play guitar (foreal this time). finish the entire bible (finally). figure out post-college plans. more family & friends time. spread the gospel. grow in the knowledge and love of God.

and i pray that i acknowledge that all these things
will be accomplished for Christ and because of Christ.

ciao 2009!

2009-12-24T15:37:00.001-08:00

2009 has been full of incredible blessings! i am so undeserving of the opportunities and lovely people God has blessed me with.

some highlights:

i finished up my last year dancing with MCIA (it was an amazing 4-year run). my oldest sister got married to the love her life. i turned 22 with the most wonderful birthday surprises ever. i was re-baptized!!. i moved out of 198 (sad i know). the bfriend celebrated his 23rd birthday with more surprises. lots of friendsies graudated, including my sister from nursing school. lots of birthdays, celebrations, reunions and shindigs. went through some challenges, learning to trust God more. participated in my first cfbc VBS. attended harvest crusade. celebrated 1 year with the bfriend. started the year as the Resident Advisor of Crickhollow. started training for half-marathon. read more of my Bible and grew closer to God. spent quality time with family, friends, bfriend and church family.

besides all these blessings, i cannot fail to forget the Blesser. dear God, you are soooo good to me. i still make mistakes and my flaws continue to surface, but You are so patient and so loving despite all of that. i pray that i remain faithful and trust in Your sovereignty even when these naive eyes cannot see the sliver lining. i praise You and i thank You for all these things that you have so graciously bestowed upon me and i pray that others may be grateful for the life you have given to them. i also pray that they acknowledge what else you offer them beyond this life--- the hope, peace, joy, abundant love in living a life for You because You sent your Son to die on a Cross so that we may live and enjoy these very blessings. thank You for another fabulous year and i pray that you reignite the passion to serve You, living a life worthy of You and to share the good news with those around us. to God be the glory. so see ya 2009 and hello 2010! :)

merry CHRISTmas!

2009-12-23T17:26:00.000-08:00

And the angel said to them, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you
good news of great joy that will be for all the people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a

Savior, who is Christ the Lord.
And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby
wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger."

[Luke 2:10-12]

this season is not about us. it's not about traditions and fancy gatherings. it's not about elaborate decorations or non-stop Christmas songs on the radio. it's not about buying, giving or receiving gifts. this is a season of celebration for the greatest gift ever.

this is a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ! this was no ordinary birth of an ordinary baby. this was the Son of God. this was God in the flesh born into this world to fulfill the greatest feat imaginable. God, an all-powerful being, coming into this world as a vulnerable human in the most modest circumstances to two faithful, common people. Jesus Christ sent into this world as a Savior, to save all man from all sins, a free gift that we do not deserve. this is great news! because of Jesus' birth, because of his ministry throughout his life and ultimately because of his death on the cross, we have the opportunity to reap the rewards if we only believe in him and live to follow his commandments. through faith in Christ, we are offered life beyond this life. through Christ, God gives us life and sustains our life, it only makes sense that we live in complete gratitude and submission to Him. God is forgiving and patient with our mistakes. Jesus saves us from our sins, offers peace and joy in life and gives us more than anyone or anything could ever offer. no matter how horrible your past was, God can transform you and give your life meaning. and i think that is more than enough reason to turn to Him. i really hope that this season is filled with the joy from understanding the true reason for the season--- CHRISTmas, a celebration of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

That's Christmas (Short Film) HD from St Helen’s Church on Vimeo.

merry CHRISTmas friends! love you all!

almost.

2009-12-15T20:48:00.000-08:00

there is a lot happening and there is a lot still to be done.
would you please soften hearts & transform minds to know You?

Lord, i can see the work that You are doing.
dear God, help us to continue to give You all the glory.

playtime.

2009-12-04T22:47:00.000-08:00

so crazy.

2009-11-30T00:49:00.001-08:00

"In Heaven exists a being that decides
whether or not I take another breath.
This Holy God deserves excellence, the very best I have"

- Francis Chan, "crazy love"

2009-11-27T19:58:00.000-08:00

this plant started out maybe as tall as i was
when we moved into our house about 17 years ago.

as you can see, it started leaning to soak up more sun.

i came home last week and my dad asked me,
"did you see the plant?"

i replied,
"no, why?"

he said,
"flowers started blooming at the top.
you should take pictures of it".

so i did.

more than just the turkey.

2009-11-23T17:17:00.000-08:00

Make a joyful noise to the LORD, all the earth! Serve the LORD with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!

Know that the LORD, he is God!
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
and his courts with praise!
Give thanks to him; bless his name!

For the LORD is good;
his steadfast love endures forever,
and his faithfulness to all generations.

[Psalms 100:1-5]

==========

on sunday during our church's thanksgiving service, i was blessed to hear the message given by Pastor Lubaton of Faith Calvary Baptist Church. the title was "Be Thankful...For the Lord is Good!" oh man, what a great reminder of how absolutely undeserving we are for the wonderful blessings we are given (everything from the luxuries we enjoy or the very air we breathe!). but beyond that, how absolutely undeserving we are to have a sovereign God who abundantly pours out His unconditional love to us.

i'd just like to share the points that Pastor Lubaton presented.
some very important reasons why we should be thankful:

1) we have a sovereign God- there are no accidents/coincidences in life. God is in control of ALL things, though our flesh and pride often sways us to think otherwise.

2) God loves us unconditionally- though friendships and relationships can easily falter, we have the assurance that God continues to love us regardless of our condition, no matter how disobedient we are/were. God's love is so grand that He gave His only Son for us (which constantly boggles my mind!). God's mercy is so great that, only through Christ, He saves us from what we deserve by offering forgiveness for even our ugliest sins if we choose to have faith in Him. God's grace is so amazing that He continues to provide for us even when we do not deserve such blessings. because of this unconditional love, there is eternal salvation and eternal security.

3) we are forgiven- we've all made our mistakes, but they were not mistakes in God's eyes, they were part of His precise plan for our lives. how completely incredible to know that we can be forgiven for all our past failures when we humbly repent of our sinful lives and constantly strive to turn away from those sins and be like Christ. through our faith in Christ, our debts are completely erased and we should be eternally grateful.

4) we have direct communication with God through the Holy Spirit- God gives us so many things. sometimes we focus on the blessings more than the blesser. regardless if something good or something bad is happening, the Lord just wants our praise. how wonderful to know that through prayer, we can offer Him praise and cast our anxieties on a faithful God who grants our requests if it is according to His will.

it's not about what we receive, but who God is. when you have a problem, who better to go to but God himself who provides all things, gives all things, and loves us without question.

happy thanksgiving, lovelies!!

victory lap.

2009-11-17T14:31:00.000-08:00

during my visit to the academic counselor:

me: "so I just need two more classes??"

counselor: "yes, now let me check if you have enough units... oh... wow, yes, you definitely have more than enough."

next quarter:
+ psychology of language
+ coaching sports
+ astronomy
+ beginning poetry
+ but hopefully history of jazz instead of one of these.

time's running short to enjoy all this free knowledge.
ah, the perks of being a super senior.

in His time

2009-11-13T01:44:00.000-08:00

thank you Lord for being patient with us
even when we are not.

Lord, would you please continue to work
in the hearts & minds of those who are searching?

forgive us for shaking our fists
when things do not comply with our timeline.

although we do not see immediate results,
dear God, we know you are doing great things.

weAk 7.

2009-11-08T23:49:00.000-08:00

The Lord is my strength and my shield;
in him my heart trusts, and I am helped;
my heart exults,
and with my song I give thanks to him.
[Psalm 28:7]

Lord, you know that i am exhausted and drained.
would You please revive me, dear God?
please allow me to again acknowledge
that there is a purpose and perfect plan in all of this.
i continue to commit all my work to You.
i can see You are already doing
great things in these young hearts,
which i am so overjoyed and grateful for.
You would not give me anything that i could not handle.
and beyond that, there is nothing You cannot handle.

Lord, humble me to find rest in You.
and with all of this, grow me to praise You
despite the circumstances.

Lord, be my strength.

let's GO.

2009-10-26T18:19:00.000-07:00

when i think about the Lord

how He saved me, how He raised me
how He filled me with the Holy Ghost
how He healed me to the uttermost
when i think about the Lord
how he picked me up turned me around
how He set my feet on solid ground

i've been thinking about this song a lot. what an absolute joy to know that God loved me, even before my own parents loved me, way before i even knew who He was. He picked me up, turned me around, set my feet on solid ground! PTL!

it makes me want to shout hallelujah!
thank you, Jesus!
Lord, you're worthy of all the glory,
and all the honor and all the praise!
Hallelujah! thank you, Jesus!
Lord, you're worthy of all the glory,
and all the honor and all the praise!

- When I Think About the Lord by Shane Barnard

at rock harbor, the current series is "a life that demands explanation". do you live your life set apart from the world? does your lifestyle make people curious to know what makes you so happy, so hopeful during the good and the bad times? even though you profess to have Christ on the inside, do your outward actions reflect that? does the joy and peace of having Christ in your life make people ask questions? are you a light? do you stand out in a crowd of non-believers?

it's been a blessing to hear about this topic of being "set apart" from the world and hearing church friends excited to live radically for Jesus. it scares me to get lukewarm, going through the motions of "that Christian thing", getting too comfortable with my faith, which hinders my own spiritual growth and also stunts the growth of His kingdom. it's like holding in an all-powerful cure to all diseases from everyone in the world because of laziness or fear of how someone's going to respond. that's just silly.

a resident sent me a video of jaeson ma sharing a message at the University of Texas (i encourage you to watch both parts). he explains that often time, today's Christians are so caught up in having people come to them. come to church, come to bible study. and while that it is all good to be bold enough to invite people... instead, he suggests to GO. go out and preach the gospel, go and talk to strangers, go and take those risks, go and serve the Lord. leave the security of your comfort zone. im really trying to do this and i've learned it ain't easy. it's scary and i still doubt myself, but i think that's where the problem is because it's not about me. it's about giving these daily missions to God because only because of Him and through Him and with Him can we find the strength to actually do anything at all.

pray for boldness.
pray for wisdom.
pray for opportunities.

=========

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord.
Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone
who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.
But do this with gentleness and respect,
[1 Peter 3:15]

it may seem difficult to explain so much,
but dear Lord, give me the courage and wisdom to try.

lost.

2009-10-26T17:23:00.000-07:00

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
[Psalm 34:18]

=========

lately, my heart's been set on the lost. for those searching for identity, for those trying to find meaning, for those trying to find a purpose in life, for those trying to attain happiness. the things people try to fill those voids with just set them deeper into isolation and doubt. i know... i've been there. there are a lot of people on my prayer list and i pray that--in His time-- they will see the joy and peace they can have in a life centered on faith, grounded on the Creator of all things, provider of all things, sovereign over all things.

God gives you this very life to enjoy, all He asks for is your life in return. some may argue that submitting in that way leads you into a life of restriction, limited by a set of strict rules. but it is not that at all. i'd say it's a pretty fair trade. by devoting your life to a good & faithful God, you receive the free gift of eternal life, free from the shame and guilt of sin because of a sacrifice made on the Cross. you gain this hope that despite of all that shady business you were involved in before, you are made completely new, wiped completely clean. i can't get over that fact, so simple but so ridiculously amazing! it's seriously so incredible and mind-blowing how an almighty God who created the most ginormous things on earth could care for a single person, forgiving you for things that may even be difficult to forgive yourself for. because of this, you'll want to abide by His commandments, you'll want to give your praise and show your gratitude to this wonderful God for taking you in... no matter what you've done before, no matter how broken you are, or how unworthy you feel. truth is, none of us deserve what He offers, but praise God for his grace and mercy that He gives out of His abundant love.
praise God for everything.

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

-Who Am I by Casting Crowns

on my heart.

2009-10-19T23:12:00.000-07:00

And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."
[Matthew 28:18-20]
===========

I'm not backing down
I will stand my ground
Lifting high the name of Jesus

Holding out Your light
To a world in need
Living out the love of Jesus

Though the battles rage
Your blessing still will come

(CHORUS)
To the ends of the earth we will go
To the ends of the earth we will go
Fill us with power
Fill us with power

For the truth of Your word we will stand
For the truth of Your word we will stand
Give us your courage
Give us your courage

Be our strength and song
Till the battles won
Cause your face to shine upon us

Stretch your hand to say
Our God never fails
Nothing is impossible for you

Though the battles rage
Your blessing still will come

Would you breath on us (x4)

- "Give Us Your Courage"- Tim Hughes
=========

dear Lord,
guide me through this time of making big decisions.
please give me wisdom and courage.
purify my motives
& let the desires of my heart be pleasing to You.

breathe.

2009-10-16T11:41:00.000-07:00

O LORD, my heart is not lifted up;
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvelous for me.

But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

[Psalm 131:1-2]

wow.

2009-10-14T21:13:00.000-07:00

time, moola, energy, patience, technology, people, friendship, comfort, protection, His Word, guidance, love, understanding, peace, joy.
whatever it is... God provides.
=========

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow,

for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.

Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

[Matthew 6:31-34]

translation.

2009-10-13T08:38:00.001-07:00

“In every temptation let us look up to a crucified Christ, who is fitted and qualified to support tempted souls. Oh my soul, whenever you are assaulted, let the wounds of Christ be your city of refuge where you may fly and live.

Let us learn, in every trouble which presses us—whether it be sin, temptation, or any other evil—to translate it from ourselves to Christ. And all the good in Christ—let us learn to translate it from Christ to ourselves.”

—Thomas Brooks, The Golden Key to Open Hidden Treasures

flusteration.

2009-10-12T00:42:00.000-07:00

And let us not grow weary of doing good,
for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone
and especially to those who are of the household of faith.
[Galatians 6:9-10]

dear Lord, revive me from these busy days and this exhausting weekend. i am so tired and i know i need to rest in You, but sometimes my pride prevents me from completely surrendering my life to You. i have not been right with You in the last couple of days, i have not been honest with the real burdens of my heart. i allowed the overpowering sins of doubt, anxiety & fear to seep through. forgive me and please purify my heart. hear the cries of my heart that even i ignore. You know my thoughts even before i think them. the Christian life is not easy, but remind me that You alone give us a reason to fight for that unexplainable joy and maintain that peace of mind. only You can satisfy. i praise You for being compassionate and forgiving to horrible people like me. use me and mold me to become like Jesus, selfless, sacrificial and altogether loving. Lord, You are sovereign and have an incredible authority over all things. Lord, i pray that i completely trust in that amazing power over my own life. teach me humility. Your timing is so perfect, work in their hearts. Lord, i pray that i not forget that Christ died for my sins and with that also my burdens and my problems and my troubles. and because of this, i have so much hope beyond this life. dear Lord, let my thoughts, my actions, my attitude and my life reflect the wonderful promises that are given to us by God through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us
an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,
as we look not to the things that are seen
but to the things that are unseen.
For the things that are seen are transient,
but the things that are unseen are eternal.
[2 Corinthians 4:17-18]

full plate.

2009-10-07T20:45:00.000-07:00

there's so much i want to do... in the next days, weeks, months, years!! in a span of 10 months, i won't have my college comfort zone to keep me safe. decisions, decisions. so many places to explore and new opportunities to pursue. so many people to reconnect with, to share with, to pray with, to grow with. im so frazzled, excited and overwhelmed with my growing Life List. i don't even know where to start. i know i can't do this on my own.

The heart of man plans his way,
but the LORD establishes his steps.
[Proverbs 16:9]

dear Lord, guide and direct my steps towards these ginormous goals,
only if they are according to your will, of course.
remind me that your timing and plan for me is oh-so-perfect.
plant me where you feel it is best to be used for your glory.
oh Lord, above all things, i pray that i serve You
and not my selfish desires.
oh Lord, i pray that these plans may be pleasing to You.

prayers.

2009-10-06T13:35:00.000-07:00

Residents lined up in a muddy street to receive relief goods after floodwater subsides in this aerial picture Monday, Oct. 5, 2009 in Angono town in eastern Manila, Philippines. Typhoon Parma weakened into a tropical storm that linger to Philippines coastline coast drenching northern provinces as well as Taiwan killing 16 people and causing widespread flooding and landslide. -Yahoo News

====

my heart dropped in sympathy for the those in the Philippines who faced this disaster firsthand and also for those who have relatives & loved ones in the affected areas. on sunday, pastor ed explained how so many people do not have clean water, no clothes, no shelters, lost their loved ones, undergoing diseases from sanitary issues etc etc. relief goods are being transported over there, but not nearly enough considering the already impoverished status of the country. if you cannot contribute in tangible goods, i hope you pray for those in the Philippines and other countries that are affected by these storms. so many tragedies occurring all over the world every day. i pray that we remember that God is faithful and trust in His providence through it all.
====

i was looking through photos and came across pictures of kids playing in the mud or adults smiling as they swim through the murky water. it kind of surprised me. maybe they're kids and do not understand the gravity of the situation... or maybe those in less fortunate countries really understand how to appreciate little things, how to be grateful for the very little they actually have. it was so saddening to learn more about the event in the Philippines and all over the world. but it's also always disturbing to hear complaints of people here. we have so much here to be thankful for, but still exhaust ourselves with our inability to be content. we can easily complain about any and everything. the price of things, the quality of things, having too many things, not having the coolest things, losing things, not having the better&best things. what is the benefit in focusing on these materials and amplifying what you are lacking? ultimately, they're just things-- replaceable, forgettable things that may satisfy for like two days, but then what?
====

i praise God for satisfying my soul above all things. i feel confident and comforted in His promises of a greater life beyond what i have here, which brings an unexplainable peace and joy in my heart. i thank Him for everything (and everyone) that i do not deserve, but through the sacrifice of Christ, i have the blessed opportunity to enjoy such things. Lord, show me how to love with humility and gentleness. teach me how to live with a servant heart and a life of gratitude to You, the supplier, creator, sustainer, and provider of all things. use me Lord to show others the good fruit of living a life for You, not for my own personal gain, but for your glory always. to God be the glory forever and ever.

happy times.

2009-09-30T13:54:00.000-07:00

various PTL moments of the last few days...

^this little girl... super dirty feet and all.

^ these little girls too.& our trip to the abbot kinney festival.
^ and yes, these little girls too!

^ their visit to the irvs
& their lovely contributions to my room decor.

^ our first sweet tooth tuesday!

& the hungry residents who took a study break
to devour the goodies.

dear Lord, i don't deserve this.

it's not about me.

2009-09-29T10:11:00.001-07:00

let go & let God.

welcome. week.

2009-09-25T19:37:00.000-07:00

the residents have settled in and im definitely feeling the exhaustion from a crazy demanding week. but God's got me through it, pushing me to my limit and leaning on His providence for strength and revival every day. i need to remember this is a God-given opportunity to be a light to this wonderful group of 82, so i can't take these moments lightly. i have 10 months to share what i can in and out of this hall before finally leaving uci. and what a blessing to work with such amazing & passionate staff members. they've really got a heart for what they do and im excited to get to know them even more.
other than that, everything is just grape!!

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of lights with whom
there is no variation or shadow due to change.
Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth,
that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.
[James 1:17-18]

praise God for absolutely everything.

Psalm 62.

2009-09-23T23:46:00.000-07:00

¹ My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.

² He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

³ How long will you assault a man?
Would all of you throw him down—
this leaning wall, this tottering fence?

⁴ They fully intend to topple him
from his lofty place;
they take delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
but in their hearts they curse.
Selah

⁵ Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.

⁶ He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

⁷ My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

⁸ Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Selah

⁹ Lowborn men are but a breath,
the highborn are but a lie;
if weighed on a balance, they are nothing;
together they are only a breath.

¹⁰ Do not trust in extortion
or take pride in stolen goods;
though your riches increase,
do not set your heart on them.

¹¹ One thing God has spoken,
two things have I heard:
that you, O God, are strong,

¹² and that you, O Lord, are loving.
Surely you will reward each person
according to what he has done.

cast.

2009-09-21T18:27:00.000-07:00

I pray that you sustain me through the hustle and bustle of RA-ship. I am already feeling the tiredness, but Lord I know you can revive me. I pray that my only standards to meet is the example of Christ, following your commandments and not the expectations of others. I pray that I love these residents with a genuine and selfless love. I pray that I do not put all my reliance on myself because I know I am incompetent and weak without You. I pray that my pride is not in my own works but in You. Lord please use me and grow me in wisdom and patience to guide them. Please equip me with the fruit of the Spirit to be an effective light to these young'ns. You are such a good and faithful God who listens to your children. Lord, please hear my prayers. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.
[1 Corinthians 12:9-10]

it's here!

2009-09-18T17:10:00.000-07:00

it has been a crazy couple of weeks. i'm at the point of exhaustion similar to the completion of an mcia "heaven week". i've inhaled an abundant amount of paint fumes during poster-making, endured hours of workshops and lectures during training, stayed up til the wee morning hours preparing the hall and i've forgotten what a "good night's rest" is. but no real complaints, God's really been sustaining me despite my tiredness. i've been learning that His grace really is sufficient for me. i've made a bunch of new friends (i love the ME staff!) and God has revealed so many witnessing opportunties. please pray that God equips me with the knowledge and love to pursue these friendships and direct them towards Christ. in a couple days, 83 fresh faces will fill this rather quiet hall. i can't believe it's so soon! but im as ready as i can be. i pray that the Holy Spirit fills me to guide these young'ns in a positive way.

=========
Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
[Colossians 4:2-6]

(come check out Brent Lee's artistic genius all over my hall!)

========

on top of all this, the bfriend made his way across the nation to the big apple. up until his departure, people kept asking me how i felt about him leaving. i really could not give them a consistent answer. i am excited to see what God has in store for him for the next year, i am proud of him for stepping way out of his comfort zone, i am encrouaged by how he made use of the last of his time in california, and yes i am a little bummed i won't get to see him on the weekends. but i praise God for this distance. it's a big test to our relationship and trust in God. distance does not (and should not) determine how much we encourage each other and with various methods of technology, i don't feel like it will greatly hinder our relationship. yes, it will have its challenges but we know we still have Christ in our hearts and support for each other even if we're on opposite sides of the country. i highly doubt God would call him out there if He thought we couldn't handle the temporary separation. and i feel like God's really prepared us for this change. some people are surprised by our approach to our relationship and some even tease, but we strive to put God first in our individual lives even then everything else just works out. he's such a blessing in my life and i know God is working out big things for you, jurr.

im praying for you.

the good kind of exhausted.

2009-09-09T23:54:00.000-07:00

yikes, it's getting more real. so much piling up on my to-do list. im drained after 8am-6pm training every day. in about 9 days, there will be about 80+ first-years running around my hall, eager and anxious to begin their UCI college life. according to their intense activity on facebook, i can already tell im going to have my hands full this year. but im ready for the challenge. every morning i pray that God grants me with the fruits of the spirit, especially patience. i need to remember that this is a God-given opportunity to be a light to so many fresh minds. im sure there will be hardships and tough times, but God wouldn't give me this position if He thought i couldn't handle it. as always, He put me here for a reason and im excited to see what is to be revealed.

=========
Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.
[Philippians 2:14-16]
=========
Crickhollow, home for the next year.what a blessing to have great friends to help......while others lounge and provide entertainment.
come visit me! :)
==========

on another note...
praise God for you, love.
==========

reminder.

2009-09-07T08:07:00.000-07:00

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow,
for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.
Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
[Matthew 6:34]

it's the first of the month.

2009-09-01T11:34:00.000-07:00

september has finally crept up on us and it ain't coming quietly. im already feeling the weight of many things, but im really hoping that i cling to my faith and not my feelings. He will sustain my energy, my focus and my relationships according to His will. i need to be patient and trusting in His plan for me. i need to remember that God is faithful and with me through the ups and downs.

==============

"We live in stressful times. If unchecked, worry, anxiety, and stress
can cause our hearts to also become troubled.
The problem is that worrying does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow.
It only empties today of its strength.

If your heart is troubled today,
then remember these three things:

1. His Word is true.
2. We are going to heaven.
3. He is coming back for us."

- Pastor Greg Laurie
==============

And we know that God causes
everything to work together for the good
of those who love God
and are called according to his purpose for them
(Romans 8:28)

our God is an awesome God indeed.

love song.

2009-08-26T22:58:00.000-07:00

You are God in heaven

And here am I on earth
So I'll let my words be few
Jesus, I am so in love with You

And I'll stand in awe of You, Jesus
Yes, I'll stand in awe of You
And I'll let my words be few
Jesus, I am so in love with You

The simplest of all love songs
I want to bring to You
So I'll let my words be few
Jesus, I am so in love with You.

- Let My Words Be Few (by Matt Redman)

just one of them days.

2009-08-24T21:27:00.000-07:00

"do you think you're distracted?"

in the span of a day, i lost focus. my priorities got all twisted. my eyes were not on the prize. instead, i was transfixed on my own desires. inside, i was kicking & screaming because i was disappointed in others. (little did i know that later i would be even more disappointed in myself for putting too much emphasis on me). i tried to take matters into my own hands and thought that i could be the solution to all problems. my body was exhausted, my mind was tired, my heart was heavy.

once again, i was hit with the recurring reality that i cannot do this on my own. i always need God and with so many changes going on, i need Him more than ever. and i have faith that He is actively working out the kinks in my life. i need to constantly remind myself of the rewards He graciously offers us, the gift of eternal life to those who believe. i need to remember that Jesus is real and so is his death AND resurrection, the same death and resurrection that saved me. He wants the best for me, He wants me to turn away from sin, to place my focus on a life centered on Christ. if he gave up his life for me, an undeserving sinner, then i should be able to devote my life to Him, a pure, forgiving, holy, loving, faithful, righteous, perfect God.

=========

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
[Philippians 4:8-9]

=========

i praise God for the people in my life who hold me accountable for my actions and rebuke my wrongdoing. i pray that God cleanses my heart from the lingering sin and selfish desires that prevent me from seeing the full scope of how wonderful and powerful He is. i am thankful that God is forgiving and patient despite my flaws. He drew me back to Him a year ago and on that rough day, He pulled me even closer. regardless of the twists and turns i face, i don't want to lose grasp of the abundant joy i have in Christ. God is so good, friends.

=========

a timely email from the little sister:

Isaiah 40:31 But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.

Psalms 118:8-9 "[it is] better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. [it is] better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in princes."

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

i love you and am praying for you. remember to rely on God no matter what because true happiness is found in Him and the good news of the gospel! i know it's hard, but God is definitely working in every situation and ALWAYS teaching us something. because nothing happens on accident. and God is definitely growing you. just continue to trust in Him and be patient even when patience seems to be in short supply. love ya m-lo. :)

=========

So take me as you find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow,
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

- Mighty To Save (by Hillsong)

overjoyed.

2009-08-18T11:20:00.000-07:00

there have been an overwhelming amount of blessings in this past year, let alone just this past month! God really IS a faithful and loving God and im so thankful for the blessings and trials that He's been sending my way.
============

oc fizzle.
fried food + friendsies

198 family reunion.
$10 all-you-can-eat korean bbq + sweet apartment deposit.
date nights.
late night dessert + photo shoot.
harvest crusade 2009.
worshiping our wonderful God with thousands of people!
greg laurie's message was a great reminder of how things of this world do not satisfy, but Christ can provide the ultimate joy that everyone searches for.
cfbc youth beach trip.
PTL for this group of crazy kids! intense games, frolicking in the water, praise & worshiping on the sand, harcore carwheel battle and jurr's message about preventing distractions to our walk with God. fun in the sun, enjoying God's creation among bros and sisters in Christ.

celebrating one year with the bfriend.
God has most definitely taught the two of us soooo much during this past year. i praise God for bringing this guy into my life (i must say he's pretty cool). God has really grown us on our individual walks with Him and i pray that He continues to sustain our relationship
regardless of which coast we're on.
playtime with a.phu and r.j
this silly duo visited the OC for some galavanting, picture-taking, jam-packing into one sleeping bag at the park and a lovely devotional over some yummy shaved ice.

==========

and though some moments aren't always so dandy as these pictorals, i know that all these temporary troubles are not worth stressing over compared to the glory that is yet to come. God is so super good and sometimes i find myself just in awe of where God has brought me over this year of change. i cannot imagine a life without this faith, without the grace that God generously pours out, without His patience with me. while im overjoyed with all these blessings, i pray that i do not forget the blesser, the One who gave us Christ, the greatest blessing of all.

anything to stop clock watching

2009-08-13T01:04:00.001-07:00

yup, the bfriend is moving...
across the US...
to new york...
for a year (maybe shorter, maybe even longer).

what's gonna happen to you guys? are you gonna break up? what if you guys meet other people? why don't you ask him to stay? will you be sad? are you scared?
aren't you gonna miss him?

the situation's not as complicated as it seems. yes, he is moving. yes, it will be kinda hard sometimes. yes, i will miss him. i admit that anxiety really weighed my heart down and spurts of reality got the best of me. i didn't know how we would approach our relationship, if we'd have time for each other, if staying together and enduring those dreaded long-distance-relationships was the best idea. nonetheless, we're going to do everything we can to keep goin' strong and to maintain Christ at the center of our lives and our relationship. from the beginning, we agreed that we would always put God at the top of our priorities, which means letting Him do as He wills for the two of us. we need to trust that God will lead our individual lives as well. we have faith in each other, faith in the relationship God has blessed us with, faith in our good & loving God's will and we're praying that God allows us to grow together even way after his stay in the big apple. this will undoubtedly be a challenging learning experience, so we appreciate your prayers! it may be tough, but PTL for technology, for prayer and for God's faithfulness through all these changes.

=========

august 2008.

one year later.
august 2009.

happy one year bfriend.

i think you're pretty awesome & i really thank God for you.

we'll never be rejected.

2009-08-12T08:30:00.000-07:00

We’ll never be rejected

via Of First Importance by joshetter on 8/11/09

“Why am I so blessed? I am blessed because, in the most painful moment in human history, Jesus willingly subjected himself to the rejection of his Father. He took on my sin and allowed himself to be rejected. In this unthinkable moment of substitution, the Trinity was torn apart as the Father turned away the Son. Here is what you and I have to understand: Jesus was willing to suffer the horrible rejection of his Father so that you and I would never, ever have to experience it ourselves.”

- Paul David Tripp, A Shelter in the Time of Storm (Wheaton, IL; Crossway Books, 2009), 92.

a ride that will change your life.

2009-08-12T01:00:00.000-07:00

august 3-7 was cfbc's annual vacation bible school (VBS) entitled Boomerang Express, so we traveled to the land down under(kind of) in hopes to share the good news to all those who attended and their familias.
what a blessing to be a part of the VBS staff for the first time
as an assistant teacher for the AUSSIE PRE-K POSSE class! working alongside this quirky duo (also both of my accountability partners) made the week so much fun! i learned so much from these two. your passion to serve the Lord and dedication to our "joyful joeys" really kept me energized and focused on our primary goal to plant a seed for our kiddos to grow towards Christ. im so thankful for the time spent together in and out of the classroom, preparing lessons and growing our friendships.
it was a whole week, full of singing, playing, running around, crafting, teaching and most especially sharing the gospel with 100+ young kids and kid-at-heart-adults. it's amazing how much our little ones can comprehend at such a young age. this experience really shows that it's never too early to develop your faith... nor is it too late. i was reminded of the significance of raising children to know and love God (Lord-willing my future husband and i will successfully do so with our own kiddos, too).
"g'day mate, im glad you could make it"five days of excitement and spontaneity left us drained after each day, but the kids' curious minds and enthusiasm brought a fresh energy to each class. they asked surprisingly complex questions and responded eagerly to ours.
they listened to stories and showed off their creativity during craft time.

they made new buddies and learned about Jesus along the way.til graduation day where our little kangaroos were all decked out in their 'roo gear, ready to perform for a packed venue of proud friends and families
(and teachers!)And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
[Matthew 18:2-4]one of our faves, beatrice!
spending some quality time with this NY-bound guy wasn't too shabby either.
and praise God for such an enthusiastic youth group. im so proud of the work that was done by them at vbs, whether it was in the classroom or behind the scenes. i cannot begin to explain how encouraging this group of crazy kids is. i hope our fire to know and grow in Christ extends beyond that single hectic week.after all the fun and games of the week, i hope that through God's doing, we helped open some eyes and spiritually-feed some hungry people. thank you God for this experience and for this church family that i absolutely adore. you are soooo good and i pray that those who attended were blessed throughout the week and that their enthusiasm & interest spreads to those around them as well.

it really does all come back to Jesus.

ah, finally some blog time.

2009-08-11T00:56:00.000-07:00

it's been quite an eventful couple of weeks, full of fantabulous memories, lots of pictures, plenty of grubbing and an abundance of blessings all over! God is so super good, im so in awe of how He works in people's lives and im so unworthy of such great things, but im constantly reminded of His grace through such joyous occasions and opportunities to build each other up and grow friendships.

=========

the cfbc ladies gathered for a weekend getaway in the great outdoors (aka the navales backyard) for some late-night-munching, testimony-sharing, advice-giving and constant conversing until the sun came up...all this under one impressive makeshift tent!

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up,
just as you are doing.
[1 Thessalonians 5:11]
(we even squeezed in some late night yoga action)and as a guest of the navales, there was bound to be plenty of good eats!
tita lolit led our morning devotional about being ourselves, rejecting the temptations of worldliness and fighting the common pressures of being a girl, striving to be godly women.
what an encouraging message to start the day!
then the ladies joined the boys to prep for our upcoming vbs.
i could feel the excitement as we all came together to
prepare, practice, paint and play!

afterwards, the ladies got all snazzified for a fancy little dinner.my date for the night
and ultimate week-long accountability session partner.
then a quick little stroll around downtown fullerton to wrap up a weekend of festivities. praise God for friends to share your joys and struggles with, who are ready and willing to comfort and encourage and re-direct your focus on Christ. it was especially great to share testimonies. to see how God has worked to transform our once-empty lives in so many different ways was a true testament of how much joy can now be found through faith in Christ. i pray that God will continue to grow this community of young women and grant us the wisdom & love to edify each other.
i love you lovely ladies!

PTL.

2009-08-07T01:43:00.000-07:00

God is so good, so faithful, forgiving, gracious, patient and loving.

I am so overwhelmed with joy from too many things to mention right now
because my mind's all over the place and my body's calling for some sleep.

updates soon for sure..
but here's a preview from our VBS:

PTL PTL PTL!!!

worry. stress. rejoice. praise.

2009-07-29T19:25:00.000-07:00

========
Rejoice in the Lord always;
again I will say, Rejoice.
[Philippians 4:4]
========

"When I am consumed by my problems, stress out about my life, my family and my job, I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God’s command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a right to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibility.

Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives. Stress says that the things we’re involved in are more important to merit our impatience, our lack of grace towards others, or our tight grip of control...

Basically these two behaviors communicate that it’s okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance... in the context of God’s strength, our problems are small indeed"

- from the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan

================

Dear Lord, Father of all mercies, God of all comfort,

Please teach me to completely trust in You at all times because I know I worry way too much. It's so easy to praise You when things are just dandy. Please forgive me for my inconsistency. I believe that You have the power to do wonders in the hearts of people, but I also need to understand that what you do is at your will. Please grow me, teach me patience, and rid my own heart of stubbornness and pride to genuinely rejoice in You always. You are so wonderful and it's such a blessing to know that even with everything that You are handling in this world, You take the time to listen to the individual prayers of those who call on You. Through these rough times, I am being humbled by the recurring fact that I cannot do anything without You. I'm discovering that I'm not as strong as I tend to think I am and I need Your grace and comfort more than ever, but I can rest assure that You have not abandoned or forsaken me. Oh Lord, I cannot thank You enough. You are more than worthy of our praise!

========

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses,
so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses,
insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.
[2 Corinthians 12:9-10]

========

if someone's reading this and going through some rocky times, let's talk.
if my words can't help, maybe i can help show you whose Word can.

awesome.

2009-07-25T23:52:00.000-07:00

lately, i've been so in awe of God's grace: how God works in everything, how He changes hearts, how He answers prayers, how beautifully-constructed He created this world, how He always provides and comforts, how He strengthens us through trials, how His ultimate sacrifice offers great rewards. God is so super wonderful and I'm such an unworthy gal, but He continues to pour out His amazing love in so many ways!!
PTL!

so thank you God for the many blessings...

...including someone who makes me laugh.

========
Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good,
for his steadfast love endures forever!
[Psalm 107:1]
========

apprehended.

2009-07-20T21:41:00.000-07:00

But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind
and straining forward to what lies ahead,
I press on toward the goal for the prize
of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
[Philippians 3:13-14]

=========

we had the privilege of having Pastor Rector Cadayday (from Doane Baptist Seminary in the Philippines) present the message this sunday entitled "PRESS ON". it was a great reminder that our walk with God doesn't come to a halt once we are saved through Jesus Christ. although i know this life is only temporary and the glory is to be revealed in heaven, i think it's easy to forget that there's still work to be done here and now (Matthew 28:16-20). pastor cadayday mentioned that we should not only think of heaven, but also about God's purpose for our lives now.

=========

Many are the plans in the mind of a man,
but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.
[Proverbs 19:21]
=========

my heart races with excitement when i hear about mission work and people going out to proclaim the gospel in different areas. encouraging stories of missions to other countries, testimonies of others who found Christ after hitting rock bottom, even high schoolers being so bold to share the gospel with their peers. but what am i doing? am i doing my part? am i doing what God has commanded me to do as someone called for His purpose? i get so anxious that im not doing enough. i tend to compare myself with others, which i know i shouldn't do (Galatians 6:4) because we were all given unique talents and gifts that God will definitely use however He sees fit. i know God's still growing me and i am learning to let go and let God direct my path. i pray that He will grow me just enough to be used according to His will. ive got a long list of goals and i want to do so much in life, but i need to be patient and allow Him to pave the way for me.

=========

"you can be any profession,
but God first made you a Christian"
-Pastor Rector Cadayday

=========

sunday's message reminded me that my life goal should be to honor and glorify God through my thoughts, words and actions (Colossians 3:17). pastor cadayday explained that we get so caught up trying to figure out what God's will for our life is, but if we simply obey His Word, we are already on our way to participating in His plans for us. but i need to do my part to progress on this journey, i need to be an active participant in my walk. i need to spend more time with God, diving into the Word, intently thinking about Him, praying more, waking up & giving each day to Him. i have to constantly remember that...

if im not living each day for God,
then what/who am i living for?

the missing piece.

2009-07-16T16:34:00.000-07:00

i never realized how twisted my mentality was before coming back to my faith. i was seeking it all... in all the wrong places. i was stressed out, burnt out, people kept letting me down. yeah, i had friends, i was surrounded by people, i had things to occupy my time, i had places to go. but i don't think i ever truly considered them to be the great blessings that i am so thankful for now. before, they were just things in my life. but once i remembered how awesome God is for giving me these things, everything else fell into place. through my faith, im learning about His grace and receiving these blessed gifts that i know i do not deserve. after i remembered how awesome God is, the magnitude of gratitude for these blessings skyrocketed. i began to appreciate these gifts more because i began to understand who they were from.

=========

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of lights
with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
[James 1:17]

=========

God is there for us because He loves us. He provides, guides and cares because He wants to, out of this crazy unfailing love for us. He is the one absolutely absolute (Hebrews 13:8). and for me, even when nothing makes sense in this world and my chaotic life is taking a toll on me, there's this unusual peace. that's what i was missing before, i was missing the understanding that trials were meant to refine you and blessings were meant to bring thanks back to God. before, i was blaming the world (and myself) for any event that i wasn't happy with and i inconsistently attributed the good things to many different things. but i am constantly reminded that it is God who has a purpose for everything. God's good promises through Jesus Christ. that was the missing piece in my unstable life before... that was the missing peace (Philippians 4:7) that i searched for in other things, but could never find until my faith was revamped and i was reunited on this walk with God.

a couple weeks ago, i heard the testimony of the son of a pastor and he said:

"if i have absolutely nothing else but Jesus,
i still have everything i need"

so true.

where a kid can be a kid.

2009-07-16T16:23:00.000-07:00

i ventured to a familiar place this past weekend, with the same yummy pizza, screaming kiddos, rigged games, and creepy robotic mascots to celebrate my little goddaughter's big 6th birthday!

my goddaughter, mari, growing up too fast!birthday diva.the real party people.
after hours of frustration, competitiveness, many laughs,
(and 1500 tickets later)
the birthday princess took home a twisty straw, blendy pens and something with hannah montana's face on it....
so worth it for this little lady.

2009-07-10T14:18:00.000-07:00

from verseoftheday.com for july 10 2009

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. — Philippians 4:11

Thoughts on Today's Verse...

Paul tells Timothy that one of life's greatest treasures is to find contentment in godliness (1 Tim. 6:6). With this treasure, our physical circumstances become far less important to us than the character we display in those circumstances. Our bottom line is less important than loving God from the bottom of our hearts. Those who are wealthy and show godliness, a very difficult challenge according to Jesus, are those who have demonstrated that they are content to be godly and will be that kind of person with or without wealth. Those who are poor and are godly have demonstrated the same ability. So the bottom line is not how rich are we in money, but how rich are we in grace!

My Prayer...

Steadfast and faithful Father, still my restless and sometimes covetous heart and help me find my contentment in your presence and character in my life. In the name of Jesus. Amen.

===

i made this website my homepage, so i get a little snipit of Scripture every time i decide to browse el interneto. it helps to reinforce verses and it's really been a blessing to be exposed to the Word at various times throughout the day. PTL for the encouraging and convicting Word.

resting.

2009-07-07T10:07:00.000-07:00

Come now, you who say,
"Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town
and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"—
yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring.
What is your life?
For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.

Instead you ought to say,
"If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that."
As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.
So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.
[James 4:13-16]

=======
i've been struggling with the temptation of worrying. the last several months have brought about an abundance of changes and the next several months will have a bunch as well. new & different circumstances arise, triggering an emotional freakout inside. my initial response is to question. i get that unsettling feeling of anxiety. i always want to know what lies ahead, i want to be able to have a say, i want to lead, i want to know that everything will just be okay.
==========

doubt & fear are the opposites of faith & trust

==========
a couple of weeks ago, pastor ed presented a sermon entitled "Knowing God's Will is Worth the Wait". in a society that's based on instant gratification, we (too) often lose patience and become frustrated when we do not see immediate results. then we try to take matters into our own hands, assuming that we have it under control as if our way is the better way. but as pastor ed explained in his sermon, our failure to wait upon the Lord "can bring about disastrous consequences". our distrust and impulsive decisions hinder God's ability to bless us in the path that He has established. in the end, we cause more harm than help in a situation that was already under control. but of course, pastor ed reminded us that waiting patiently does not imply that we idly sit around and twiddle our thumbs. instead, we need to have the mindset of resting in the Lord and listening for God's guidance because im sure
His plans surpass anything that we could ever do on our own.
==========

"while we stand still, God is moving and active"
-pastor ed

==========

i don't know what will happen in the future.
i don't know how He'll change & grow my heart.
i don't know how God will work in my life.

but i do know (and trust) that God has a plan to work out all things for good (Romans 8:28). i know that God will never abandon us even at seemingly hopeless moments (Deuteronomy 31:8). i know i need to listen, understand and pray more. i know i need to be more patient and more trusting during all these changes. i know God is strengthening my faith in Him through these new&different experiences. i know that the God who's responsible for creating this wonderful and ginormous world also takes time to care for individuals.

and i know it will all be okay
because i know that God is good.
PTL indeed.

romans.

2009-07-01T10:52:00.000-07:00

And we know that for those who love God
all things work together for good,

for those who are called according to his purpose.
[Romans 8:28]

What then shall we say to these things?
If God is for us, who can be against us?
He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all,
how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?
[Romans 8:31-32]

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers,
nor things present nor things to come,
nor powers, nor height nor depth,
nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from
the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
[Romans 8:38-39]

transition.

2009-06-25T16:00:00.001-07:00

i can't believe it. three years living in this comfy irvine apartment. it's taking me weeks to actually pack up my stuff, somewhat because of laziness and somewhat because of denial...

^ the original198 roomies.
^ summer '06 roomies.

^ my 20th birthday. february '07.
^ end of the year dinner. june '07.
^ Christmas '07.
^ at our best. january '08.
^ my 21st birthday. february '08.
^ thanksgiving '08.
^ vegas trip '08.
^ my 22nd birthday. february '09.
=========

i clearly didn't know what i was signing up for when i agreed to live with this crazy bunch. the late night/early morning meals, the rock band sessions, the late night bonding, idle laptop lounging, american idol/reality tv watching, LOST nights, game nights, crazy nights, picture taking, random conversations. and although i was costantly in and out of this place, making it more of a pitstop, i thank God for the experiences here. i really did gain a second family while living in this home away from home. i really appreciate everything that 198 has contributed to my college years (so far). and thanks for all the visitors who stopped by and added their own special flavor to this place (we hope you enjoyed our couch/floor).
thank you 198 & Co. for the constant support, funsises and love.
=========

favorite 198 pictoral
(fun with photoshop)

favorite 198 video
(karaoke night)

cheers to three years of memories at 198.
love love love love you guys!

homezees.

2009-06-22T11:55:00.001-07:00

i went home for a couple of days.
& this is what i encountered:

a picture-perfect view as soon as i arrived.

an anxious little puppy.

and hardcore Lakers fans, ready to celebrate the championship!

=========

my main purpose for my return was to pack/unpack/re-pack my stuff... for moving out of my apartment/moving back home/moving into the dorms. i dug through boxes of souvenirs and "knick-knacks" from experiences from way back in elementary school to recent years. it was pretty tough to let some things go and somewhat of a relief to throw out other things.

upon venting about how bummed i was to be selling my beloved childhood house, jurr suggested that i should start thinking "heaven-minded". i was reminded me of how things are just things. he reminded me that some people don't even get to live in a house, let alone a nice house for 15+ years. i realized how much i took that house for granted while i lived there. and now that it's about to be sold, i realized the excessive value i placed on a house, a replaceable place.

=========

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. [Matthew 6:19-21]

=========

regardless of how precious i consider our material belongings, they do not hold nearly as much value as my family, my friends, my faith and the wonders we'll encounter in Heaven.

thank you God for always providing for us and
for placing people in our lives who point us to You.

grace story.

2009-06-18T13:24:00.000-07:00

i was particularly blessed by a sunday evening rock harbor service (06/07/09). pastor chad preached on the prodigal son, a familiar parable, depicting God's love and forgiveness to those who repent and humble themselves to Him. the rebellious son turned to a worldly lifestyle, engulfed in sin. after recognizing how empty that "reckless living" was, he returned to his father, feeling unworthy of any provisions or refuge or love. the son was disappointed in himself and didn't expect his father's forgiveness after admitting his disobedience. but this loving and compassionate father was overjoyed of his son's return and demanded a grand celebration. what an unexpected blessing!

oh man, pastor chad was right when he said that we would not hear that parable like we ever did before. he discussed that like the forgiving father in the parable, God also performs that great forgiveness with us. even with our sinful nature, constant rejection and temptation to stray away from God, He still grants us his abundant love. He doesn't care what mistakes you've made in the past (Lord knows I’ve made my share of ‘em). You don’t need a long list of good deeds you’ve done to make up for anything, as long as you return to Him in faith with a willing and repentant heart. no obligation for frequent rituals and obligations, just a relationship grounded on faith. it's free love---reliable, unending, abundant, steadfast. it's just our choice if we want to accept the greatest gift imaginable. pastor chad also included that leaving us with this free will was the most merciful act God has ever done because living life alone--- trying to endure these trials with unreliable methods, filling voids with more emptiness--- just shows how much we really need something/someone to save us from ourselves. and how awesome is it that God, because He loves us, already sent that Savior, Jesus Christ, who died to forgive us for the countless sins of all mankind. i must say that is pretty awesome indeed. PTL!

after the message, a girl named kim shared her testimony of a life wrapped up in meaningless sex, heavy drug/alcohol abuse, and unhealthy abusive relationships. after years of chaos, she acknowledged that something was missing--- she turned to Christ and now has this intense joy in her life that she never experienced with anything before (the temporary effects of drugs/alcohol/relationship could never match the joy she has now in her faith). i was really taken aback and really encouraged by her life story. i was able to speak to her briefly after the service and she explained to me that she doesn't regret anything because now it is part of her testimony that could maybe help lead others to Christ; she's just so thankful that God gave her a second chance. it's so easy to think "man, my life sucks" and then you actually open your ears to such suffering others have endured. pastor chad explained that “everyone has their own grace story” where God’s grace was poured out into their lives to draw them back Him. it's not at all a coincidence that people often turn to Christ after realizing how empty their life is. becoming more than just a believer and fully becoming a follower really makes a difference. personally, i think it has been the best decision i've ever ever made. regardless of where you've been, what you've done, what you've experienced, i'm constantly reminded that everyone needs a Savior.

praise God for His grace.
because i am constantly reminded that without Him, i am nothing
but because of Him/with Him/through Him,
i have everything i need.

as always, im more than happy to talk more about this.
so whenever you'd like, whenever you're ready, im here to listen :)

where you end up.

2009-06-15T22:11:00.000-07:00

as with all things in life, anything can happen. it's all in God's hands and i need to be mindful of blessings in every situation... even if these plans of mine fall through once again. i really need to further develop a steadfast trust in the Lord in this situation and every other part of my life. it's so easy to try and take control of our lives, building up self-centered lifestyles and forgetting to completely depend on God. it's so easy to claim that A, B and C will happen in X, Y, and Z amount of time. while "wishful thinking" may help to keep your eye on the prize, it is through prayer and trust in God that you will find the comfort & inspiration to actually move forward.

========
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
[Proverbs 3:5-6]
========

so... if the Lord wills, next summer i will be in Thailand and the Philippines for missions. between now and then, i want to grow closer to God, i need to learn more, develop my knowledge, read more and definitely pray more about it. im obviously feeling unprepared right now, so i really need God for strength and guidance, to push me towards this ginormous goal. i hope i can keep Him at the center through all this excitement. but i also understand that if these particular aspects of my future do not turn out how i want them to, i know it's all in God's good plan for me. because i've learned that where you end up is exactly where God wants you.

congrats class of 2009

2009-06-15T21:37:00.001-07:00

it was somewhat of an odd feeling being at graduation(s) this weekend, seeing my fellow class of '05 friendsies all decked out in their caps, gowns and leis as their proud friends and families gathered to share the experience. there are snipits of time where i wonder if i should've planned out my college path a little better in order to wrap everything up in the usual four years. but i suppose the 4-year plan just ain't for me. im sure God kept me around one more year for a reason i shall find out soon enough. so yayy victory lap!

congrats to all you lovely anteater ladies & gents who made it through the cray-cray college years! im so proud of yalls! have fun out there in the "real world".
come visit! free swipes galore!rafael gaskell piamnote, aka skelly. playing favorites.congrats girl-roommate!mchs '05 ladiesproud momma of this spohana grad!2/5 of 198 graduated...not bad.patreez, you did it!proud anteater.UP-inspired.
preparing for next year :)

display of recent events.

2009-06-11T17:14:00.000-07:00

^ PASS end-of-the-year banquet.

old executive board reunion.
^ jurr and i *study-bomb* some friendsies!
^ post-bible study hangout.
7 girls' attempt to finish chili fries @ the hat.
children's sunday school.
God's already blessed these kiddos with incredible talent!
Titus, age 5.
^ WOW! put my failed attempts at drawing to shame.
^ CIE staff end-of-the-year potluck.
ah yes, the perks of working on-campus

(most of) CIE staff advisors and peer advisors 08-09.
^ best professor at uci takes his favorite peer assistants to lunch
@ ruby's shake shack.
monkey flip shake goodness.

enjoying the coast, exchanging plans for the upcoming year, sharing ideas about dealing with outrageous budget cuts and gaining insight about the under-valued occupation of teachers.
==========
yikes. the year's winding down.
more about that whole sitch up next...

happy birthday daddy!

2009-06-10T17:40:00.000-07:00

a very happy birthday it was for my young-at-heart dad!
i praise God for his eagerness to grow in his faith, for his never-ending support, for his random calls to check up, for his silly sense of humor, for his constant love thru any circumstance.

Daddy, you're still the coolest guy i know.it was quite the celebration as the sisters and brother #2 ventured to lovely Old Town for some foreal mexican food on an ever-so-beautiful sunny san diego day.

thank you casa guadalajara
for reminding me why i really do love san diego.
it's gotta be good if they're busting out fresh tortillas off the grizzle.
our eyes were definitely bigger than our tummies that day.
and after this fried ice cream, we were especially stuffed.
missy: i haven't been this full in a veeeeery long time.
but we were still in good spirits as the awesome mariachi band sang
"feliz cumpleanos" a mi papa.

with brother #2 (and his new books!)

we'll always be his little girls.
thank you for everything pops.
we love you so much!

it's not me...it's You.

2009-06-08T00:23:00.000-07:00

for wisdom will come into your heart,

and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul
[Proverbs 2:10]

thank you God for the many opportunities you have given to me lately. perfectly random times to talk about your goodness. i admit, it has been quite a struggle at times to be confident in myself because i often feel pretty incompetent. i get nervous and my fear of man overpowers my ability to quickly recall verses or articulate my thoughts. my anxiety over their potential response + being an adequate messenger of the gospel create a mess of emotions. i think that was the problem... i was depending too much on myself. i have to remember that only God changes hearts, so all i can do is hopefully plant seeds and patiently wait as God gives them the nourishment that they need.
========

it's been exactly a year since i've "returned to my faith". although i can recognize my growth in just a year, it's so easy to compare myself to more experienced mature Christians. but i've come to the realization that God works on us at different rates. it took about 21 years for me to fully submit and actually start really listening to God. better late than never for sure. im nowhere near being an ideal Christian (well, because no one can actually be perfect except Jesus himself), but i have hope that God will continue to grow me through various experiences. im sooooo thankful for the people who help guide me thru my walk, constantly encouraging me and even the ones who challenge my faith because even those challenges push me to learn more. i pray that God continues to work in me so that i may be able to be a light to others who are seeking meaning in their lives. but i know whatever confidence, strength and wisdom i have is not because of me...
it's all because of him.

Not that we are sufficient in ourselves
to claim anything as coming from us,
but our sufficiency is from God,
who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant
[2 Corinthians 3:5-6a]

count it ALL joy.

2009-06-04T18:29:00.000-07:00

PTL
a post from jurr's blog. take a looksies. :)

bittersweet.

2009-06-01T19:45:00.000-07:00

"what are you supposed to say about something

that you've dedicated your time and heart to for four whole years?"

^ first practice. gamma year.
^ clippers game. delta year.
^ vibe. epsilon year.
^ first practice. zeta year.

==========

this weekend was my fourth and final mcia retreat. for most of the time, i was feeling rather numb. it was surreal. i was in denial. i didn't know what to feel. i wasn't exactly sad because i'll still be around next year. i wasn't exactly overjoyed because of the realization that my time as a member of the team was coming to an end. i think the primary feeling i had was contentment. i was content with the experiences i gained, what i gave back, the lessons i learned, the friendships i made. im so undeserving and blessed that i had the chance to dance among passionate, wonderful people. mcia has been 4/5 of my college years.
mcia really has changed my life.

==========

our team motto "all love" often gets thrown around. i really hope by now you all understand what that implies and you are able to appropriately apply it. it's not just something we get stitched into our sweaters every year. love is so much deeper. all love = to..love..all. it surpasses circumstances, emotions, conflicts or situations. it's a love that doesn't make sense at times, but really... it's the only kind of love that has meaning.

i can't help but think about this kind of crazy unconditional love in God's unfailing love through the sacrifice of Christ. Jesus gave up his life in love and obedience to God and for the forgiveness of sins for all mankind. because we have sinned, we don't deserve that love. nonetheless, God gives us love, He allows us to love and provides us with those opportunities and people to share our love. because of Him, i've been able to face abundant trials and enjoy many blessings during my time with mcia. and without Him in my life, i would not even be able to recognize how unique and precious being on the team truly is. so thank you God for blessing me with this mcia family. i don't deserve them and, yet, through these four years, i have observed Your abundant goodness and grace through all the blessings i have encountered with them.

marlo's video message was on point
when he referenced from the Word of God:

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
[1 Corinthians 13:4-7]

now that's love.

==========

i actually made several drafts of what i wanted to write about regarding my experiences and current feelings about our beloved mcia, so these snipits of ideas are just a little preview. im just frazzled. (hopefully i'll be able to gather my thoughts and better articulate my feelings by the time i contribute to The Book). although i have a 1000001 things i wanted to talk about, it really kept coming down to these three things:

1) mcia, i am so proud of you.
2) mcia, thank you for everything.
3) mcia, i love you.

all love forealzies,
merody

sweet.

2009-05-25T15:33:00.001-07:00

friday was our church's youth talent show where cfbc and friends displayed the many gifts God has blessed them with. singing, magic trick-ing, geetar-playing, memory verse-ing... and some mcia friendsies even teamed up with "A Tribe Called to Christ" to put together a little somethin' somethin' for the show. do all things for the glory of God."Let them praise his name with dancing,

and make music to him with tambourine and harp"
[Psalm 149:3]
i pray that we all acknowledge God for even the smallest of blessings he has given to us. he is the one who provides us with these gifts, with the blessings that we do not deserve, things we overlook too often. he blesses us with our loved ones, with minds to understand and hearts to feel, with opportunities, with the senses to experience this world, with the very air we breathe. thank you Lord for everything beyond just the tangible things because the greatest gift you have given to us happened at the Cross. i pray that we are thankful for the blessings, but first mindful and grateful for the blesser.
"he is the source, the sustainer and the end"
=============

not only was friday the talent show, but also julian's 23rd birthday!
we excitedly planned a surprise shindig for the birthday boy,
full of some of his favorite things.

^ even with slight suspicions, he seemed to be pretty surprised!
(thanks to jurr's brother lance for capturing the funsies)
^ family and friends to join the celebration.^ fun times in the sea of balloons (thanks jigger!)^ a comic book-esque card, signed by Team CFBC + MCIA
with a cover of some of julian's greatest moments
(thanks helen for the artsy creation)
^ gotta have games! (we're already training her)^ ice cream cake + root beer floats.^ and an added bonus... a trip down memory lane with precious baby photos and embarassing high school pics.
all in celebration of this awesome kid-at-heart.
happy birthday buddy.

more updates on our weekend full of blessings soon...
but in a nutshell, God is so good.