Friday, June 25, 2010

let go.

O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it. -
Psalm 139:1-6


God knows my heart. He knows my thoughts before I notice they’re forming in my head. He knows my true desires even if I won’t admit them. God knows what I want and what I need. God delights when I delight in Him. He also hurts when something else steals away that attention. He wants me to know Him because He knows what’s best for me. God knows when I am hurting and He knows just what will heal that pain. He understands healing and He understands pain because He has felt every bit of that suffering. He weeps with me. He gives me strength. God chases me through my stubbornness and neglect. He is patient when I am not. He never leaves me, even when I feel like I’m helpless and all alone. He has a plan for me. God wants me to live a fulfilling life. He offers a greater joy than I have ever experienced elsewhere. God rejoices in my praises, He listens to my prayers, He hears the deepest cries of my heart.

God loves me… but more than that, God loves YOU.
"He is infinite and we are finite; there will always be more of His character to discover, more of His love to experience, and more of His power to use for His purposes"

“Forgotten God”- Francis Chan

so this is it.

The past several weeks have been a blur, jam-packed with programs, dancing dancing, hangouts, conversations, banquets, packing. On top of all this, the bfriend was in town for a couple of weeks, so plenty of quality time was spent together and playing with friendsies. And now, he has returned to the big apple, my residents are loading their ridiculous amount of stuff into their cars and my boys’ suite is blasting their “tear-jerker” playlist (with the classics of boyz II men, pdiddy and other slow jams that belong on the “touch game” soundtrack). My walls are bare, the hall is eerily quiet. I can’t stop denying it—- it’s here—- the end of college is really here.

Everyone keeps asking me if im excited or sad or scared to graduate. And i get this uneasy feeling as i think, “should i be excited, sad, or scared?” The truth is—- i can’t really say i’m any of the above. I am simply content. I have had a fulfilling five years (yayy victory lap!!), pursuing what i’m passionate about, devoting time to people i absolutely love, growing closer to God who has captured my heart.

So thank you to all of you lovely people who contributed to these five fruitful years. mi familia. cuesta. 198 & co. pass. MCIA. MMMKK. aifs. spurple year (mariachi bearshark fiesta) and spgold year (spohana!). middle earth. crickholla. cfbc. julianleong. and many many many more.

But the biggest and grandest praise goes to the most gracious God. How could i take or give credit and thanks without giving thanks to the One who gave it all so that i could enjoy these things? Ah, grace, receiving things that i do not deserve. What an absolute wonder it is to look back on these years and see how God works through struggles, events and people to grow us, to bring us to where we are now. I just can’t imagine attributing the love and growth i’ve experienced over the years to silly things like luck or coincidence. Every good and perfect thing can only be a result of a good and perfect God.





“I’m so proud you found your finale”- bfriend

Friday, June 4, 2010

the truest of all loves.


We learn to love by being loved.
- julian @ mcia bible study

And there is no better way to distinguish love than through the ultimate event that exemplified undeniable love—- on the Cross. God the Father sacrificing his beloved Son for our sake, a corrupt, sinful people. What an absolutely incredible concept that God would do such a thing for people who clearly did not deserve it. It just doesn’t make any sense. If His love and salvation are free gifts in exchange for faith, I’d say that’s a pretty sweet deal.

Jesus is way more than just a good person in history. He is my Savior, bearer of all sin for my sake. He is the ultimate example of humility, servanthood, obedience, etc etc. He is my Lord, Creator of all things, giver of all things, controller of all things. God IS love, unchanging, consistent, never disappointing, abounding, overwhelming, eternal love. It’s that kind of love that transforms your perception of how to love others. Now that’s the kind of love I want to chase, the kind of love I want to rest in, and that’s also the kind of love I want to give.

We love because he first loved us. [1 John 4:19]


Lord, teach me to love You more and to love more like you— obediently, consistently, unconditionally. May the life of Your Son beyond that very moment on that Cross be a constant image in my mind that transforms my heart into action towards others. I pray that this be a reminder that You are the true example of love beyond anything this world can offer.